Cuddle Party

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Cuddleparty-logo.jpg
/r/ train


   
 
A boundary-appropriate workshop and social event for exploring touch, affection and communication
 

 
 

CuddleParty on rape

Are you a lonely, single man/woman who can't get a good dicking? If so, perhaps you should try Cuddle Parties! If you are a man, it is a good place to find an emotionally needy person to pork. If you are a women, it's the next best thing to being raped.

The term Cuddle Party is often used alongside words such as orgie, mantrain, bukake, 25 to life.

Non-Sexual Cuddling

NO SEXUAL CONTACT
Getting warmer...

Apparently, there is such a thing. In a Cuddle Party, if you get a hard-on, they say it is possible to continue cuddling and not have the party devolve into a messy orgie of sexual expression. Allegedly though, if you like somebody enough, sex can occur. SOUNDS LIKE AN INVITATION.

   
 
For some, attending a Cuddle Party is a good way to meet new and interesting people and to take a look at the state of touch, affection and intimacy in today's world. For others, it's a means of exploring their touch and communication boundaries. For still others, it's a safe way to get some good, clean affection.


 


 
 

—CuddleParty.com on Dying Alone

   
 
You don't have to cuddle anybody if you don't want to. You can attend the whole event and not cuddle a single person. Really. For some people just being in a room filled with strangers in pajamas is a breakthrough. We don't believe in forced cuddling, and you are free to cuddle (or not) with anyone you want, provided that you get a verbal Yes.


 


 
 

—We at ED believe in forced cuddling however

   
 
If you only want to cuddle with "hot people" we suggest that you only invite and make requests for cuddling to/from those individuals whom register on your Hottie Radar. It's perfectly okay to only want to cuddle with those you find attractive. Of course, check in with yourself to make sure that you're okay with receiving a No before extending invites and making requests.


 


 
 

—Well fuck that, I want to cuddle only hot people

   
 
Unless it is specifically a single-sex party, we strive to keep things as 50/50, boy/girl as we can, but our experience is that a few more or a few less y-chromosomes here and there doesn't hurt.


 


 
 

—The more men the better

   
 
Usually they last about three and a half hours, although the length may vary a bit for special events.


 


 
 

—More like thirty seconds rite?

   
 
Illegal drug use of any kind at a Cuddle Party is not cuddly. Cuddle Parties are safe spaces for adults to explore affectionate touch without sexualizing it, and without drug use.


 


 
 

—How am I supposed to get an erection then?


The Rules

Number Rule What is meant
1 Pajamas stay on the whole time Until sex is initiated
2 You don't have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever. You can just sit there and masturbate
3 You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.) Remember: No means yes too.
4 If you're a yes, say YES. If you're a no, say NO. See above
5 If you're a maybe, say NO. See above
6 You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want. See above
7 Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner. With your cock.
8 Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party. They have the longest dicks
9 Tears and laughter are both welcome. As long as the tears are of pain and the laughter not at small dongs
10 Respect people's privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip. HUUUURRRR DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB /b/ Cuddle Parties
12 Arrive on time. Finish on time too
13 Be hygienically savvy. Always douche

Not An Orgy

This happens at cuddle parties
This happens before people commit suicide



   
 

One of the most frequently asked questions we get about Cuddle Party is "It's really a cover for an orgy, right?" In today's day and age, somewhere, somehow, we became convinced that sustained affection must lead to sex. Therefore, a group of adults touching each other affectionately over a three-hour period MUST turn into an orgy. The two concepts of Touch and Sex got stuck together and squished. All of a sudden, touching became having sex, or on the way to having sex. Therefore, cuddling must lead to sex, right?


The answer is NO. No, cuddling doesn't HAVE to lead to sex. It doesn't have to be that way, and at Cuddle Parties, adults are shown how to practice welcomed touch and affection play and have it, wonder of wonders, NOT LEAD TO SEX!


Ta-da!

 


 
 










Puppy Piles

This is a large puppy pile
Moar Info
18px-Nuvola apps xmag.png Furpile


This is a small Puppy Pile
 
 
A Puppy Pile is when a bunch of people crawl atop one another and cozy up, like puppies do just before they fall asleep. Some of us recall similar moments as children piled on top of one another in front of the TV or scrambling for a King of the Mountain moment on a bunk bed with our friends and cousins.

Think of a rugby scrum but with everyone in pajamas, and no one biting anyone's ear.
 


 

—CuddleParty.com on Furpiles

Film


Recap

DO NOT WANT
Choo choo

So, what have we learned about Cuddle Parties?

  1. Good opportunity for rape
  2. Usually end in orgies
  3. For people who would otherwise die alone
  4. Sleeper cell of the furry agenda

From this, it's simple to see that Cuddle Parties are a den of filth, depravity and orgiastic expression of one's own sexuality.

We recommend, if you do decide to partake in such an unholy ritual, to bring the following:

  • Condoms (for sex)
  • RU486 (in case the condoms breaks)
  • A towel (to clean up any messes)
  • A bible (to help avoid temptation)
  • Steel wool and soap (to scrub rape off)
  • Six-shot revolver (in case people get bored and want to play Russian Roulette)
  • Enough Kool Aid and cyanide for everyone (what have any of you got to live for if it's come to this?)

See Also

Portal sex.jpg

Cuddle Party is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

Portalsites.png

Cuddle Party is part of a series on

Sites

Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.