Culture War

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In internet terms, a Culture War is a type of large-scale dramatic event that often transcends both the internet and real life and involves a conflict over the term's namesake, Culture. Unlike wars of old, a Culture War rarely ends in death; occasionally you'll see some broken noses and black eyes, but any loss of life is usually caused through an hero'ing. It is important to note that the term "Culture War" in itself can mean one of three different things:

  • A war IN culture - this is where consumers of a particular culture go to war with each other
  • A war ON culture - this is where an outside group declare war on a culture in its entirety
  • A war WITH culture - this is where a war is fought using culture as the weapon (i.e. Memetic Warfare)

These are not mutually exclusive in the slightest. GamerGate for example has been known to involve all three.

History

Think back. Way back. Long before SJWs. Long before Jack Thompson. Long before the World Wide Web, even, to 1920s Germany. War has been over for a few years, and the nation is starting to hurt all over. Money's lack of value is literally causing people to go insane and an hero as a result. Losing veterans who have since found themselves homeless are being spat on in the streets. Some feel so emasculated over their BTFO'ing that they start dressing like women. The arts have taken quite a tumble. Instead of picturesque scenes and detailed portraits, we're left with flat colors and abstract nothings. Instead of classical and German folk songs, Jazz has taken over in the clubs and theaters. The industries are striking frequently and rarely producing anything of quality.

Your name is Adolf Hitler, and you can't take it anymore. So you start a Culture War, branding all of this Weimar society as "degenerate" and seek to take control of the country so that you may exact your plans for cultural supremacy, and you achieve it in as bloodless a manner as possible.

Since Hitler's ragequit in 1945 this scenario has played out dozens of times, from McCarthy's purging of Hollywood through to the present-day rise of Cultural Marxism. With the breakthrough of internet, they have become only more prevalent in recent years.

Lifespan of a Culture War

As little to no deaths are recorded during a Culture War, it typically isn't over until several years after its initial emergence, whereas most of the action typically happens in the first two weeks until a stalemate is reached. From there on in the weaker side has learned to abate their mistakes and errors of judgment, all the while hiring lapdogs to speak for them.

The Politics of a Culture War

The politics of a culture war can vary. In most eras, Who ever is the winner is always decided by popular vote or whenever or not the silent majority becomes the mainstream. The driving force between all Culture Wars is politics. Whether or not it pertains to real-life events or so much as forms an allegory is up to the belligerents. The culture war is always formed whenever society rejects an idea or if that idea becomes popular.

The Politics of the Current Culture War

File:Culture War.png
Click here to view the original in all its pozzed glory.

In the 2010s, a dangerous force known as the SJW began to crawl on the web once the web became mainstream. These people have held power since the 1960s, but began to take over society in the 2010s. The world began to look like it has been put under communist subversion. People began to take note of this and so the culture war of this era began to form due to the pure reaction of townsfolk. Due to the accessibly of the internet, it has become easier for politically motivated people to insert politics in places that shouldn't have politics such as gaming or comic books.

Below is a brief guide on who you're likely to meet in the midst of a culture battle, please consult the detailed guide on the right for further information.

The Left

Cultural Marxists

More often than not, the whole raison d'etre of a Culture War are these sick fucks. They stumble across something that upsets the groupthink, and decide they need to do something about it. When asked, will deny that they even exist. And in the few occasions where they aren't the instigators, are often themselves responsible for creating an instigatible piece of culture i.e. banning men from a meeting or show, encouraging an 8 year old boy to put on make-up and slut it up with horny gay men, or producing a video game where the main character cannot be white. These people are dedicated to destroying the western world and the western way of life.

RINOS / Neoconservatives

The biggest enemy that the alt-right has in the culture war perhaps even more dangerous than the Cultural Marxists. These people do far more damage than the left can ever do to those on the right wing of the political spectrum which makes these guys listed as leftists despite not being identifying themselves as left wing. Many RINOS are baby boomers who are pro-immigration. These people consist of George W. Bush, people tied to George W. Bush, John McCain, Robert Muller, Dick Cheney, Paul Ryan, Jeff Sessions, as well as many others who are part of the GOP. Their goal is to sabotage the midterms by purposely rigging the primaries for low energy candidates that not even baby boomers would vote for. They want to see their party fail on purpose so that the left can win the culture war since they hate their own party. The sum up, these guys are total BS obstructionists and Cultural Marxists. If one goes back far enough in history, it can be argued that this fake center right Bush and Obama supporting Republican group is the real creator of the current Cultural Marxists that infest the west.

Social Justice Warriors

A milder form of the Cultural Marxist, these are usually just mouthpieces that cry oppression whenever the time is right. Likewise, they typically lack any real-world power, whereas those further left generally manage to sink their tentacles into just about anything.

Liberalistisists

A lefty's wet dream.

Your typical internet lefty. Frequent practitioner of mental gymnastics. Will parrot anything that CNN and Snopes tells them. Often cites Harry Potter and various movies when debated since these people live in Hollywood instead of reality.

The Center

"Neutrals"

Left-leaning, always opts for the path of least resistance. In a way they're similar to nihilists, except they actually care. Voted for Obama, probably voted for Clinton after being told Sanders was no longer an option.

Trolls / Nihilists

These people appear to be with the alt-right at first due to these people supporting absolute free speech or finding people on left to be more fun to mock with their Christian Weston Chandler tier worldview and constant salt that is often mined from them, but this is a lie that normies who have never been to any website outside the normiesphere believe. These special types of centrists typically go on Kiwi Farms, Encyclopedia Dramatica, or Something Awful to get their information and care more about documenting eccentricities of idiots who just happen to be politically motivated rather than supporting the side in the culture war that they are on.

Nazbol

A bootleg version of the alt-right except the difference is that they are for communism and Marxism. They are technically far-left but with a far-right nationalistic perspective on border control. They serve better as centrists since many of these Nazbol people find the mainstream left to be completely pozzed while at the same time promote leftest faggotry. These people often hang in places like /leftypol/. Normies who view channels that identify with Nazbol or have a similar way of thinking will mistake the group for being alt-right due to these people not liking the current establishment left in America. The Nazbol gang is nothing more than a meme party who will never gain the same attention from the media as the far-right. Nazbol often attacks the far-right due to jealousy.

Fencesitters

True neutrals, though in reality they're just pussies who need someone to make all their decisions for them. KnowYourMeme is full of these two-faced NPCs.

Fanatics

You know who they are. The type of person that won't side with a team until they're winning.

The Right

File:Alt-right in a nutshell.jpg
Pictured: The alt-right.

Alt-Right

Other than political party allegiance, alt-righters follow more or less the same beliefs as moderate leftists. They still want to inject faggotry in your works of art and tell you that transpeople are mentally sane. They do not support neocon wars for Israel, but are willing to die for the Jews if it means having a stable economy for the western world since it is difficult to find a winning candidate that isn't pro-Israel in some way, shape, or form.

Alt-Lite

These people are basically a more pozzed version of the Alt-Right, but typically share the same core beliefs. These people don't find anything wrong with the Jewish people and suck Zionist cock. When Charlottesville happened, many alt-lite YouTubers removed the alt-right label from their channel in order to show people that they are closer to the center.

The Neutral Right

These people are basically ex-Leftists who have gotten sick of the bullshit that is coming out of the Cultural Marxists and are known to be the center right counterpart to the "neutrals." These people voted for Obama and were going to vote for Sanders but then got pissed off by how the Dems rigged the primary causing them to vote Trump. These people are casual viewers of 4chan and r/the_donald who are mainly there for the memes. These people formerly called themselves alt-right and alt-lite, but stopped using the label when Charlottesville happened due to not wanting to associate themselves with a political group that the normies viewed as extreme.

Libertarians

These people are not in the alt-right, but side with the alt-right due to the fact that both the conservatives in the alt-right and libertarians want less government in politics. Those are are SJW normalfags will refer to these people as far-right due to a lack of understanding of politics.

Liberalists

Sargon's meme ideology. No one knows what Liberalists believe since Sargon defines their group quite poorly. Once Sargon debated with Metokur on YouTube, his meme party dropped out of the culture war since Sargon was proven to be an idiot as well as being completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Old Right

Like the above, but existed decades ago and are largely culpable for every mis-step made by and towards America since the outcome of World War 2. When the alt-right come into existence, many of these people adopted the label to make themselves look edgy. But do not be fooled, it is obvious to anyone that these are boomer RINOs that are trying hard to reestablish themselves as hip and cool due to the hatred they have gotten from the general public over the years. These people will pretend to oppose boomer RINOs unless they pretend to be pro-Trump. These people along with the alt-lite consist of the most normalfag parts of the alt-right since these people are baby boomers who believe in nonsense like Qanon or the Flat Earth. Freaks out over just about any type of media, responsible for propagating the "Satanic Panic". Partially responsible for Sega's success in the 1990s, given that the only game they allowed their kids to play was Sonic the Hedgehog.

Old Left / Classical Liberals

These people are leftists who have gotten sick of the current state of the party and have left the democratic plantation who have made the party so left wing and politically correct that it is basically unbearable.

Far Right

Often incorrectly referred to as the "alt-right", mainly by clueless retards or those who actually are part of the alt-right (in which case the former applies anyway). These people hate Israel and will not bow down to a terrorist state.

Major Culture Wars

Violent Video Games (1992 - 1999)

Thanks to the release of games such as Mortal Kombat, parents started to grow concerned that their little Timmy would start imitating what he saw at the arcade. As NWA had ruined it for every other artist and band act out there in the music industry through the introduction of the "Parental Advisory" sticker, Mortal Kombat arguably had the same effect on video games. Though some games in the past had been relegated to behind the counter, there were no rules in place for those with only slightly objectionable content. The outcome of the first phase of this war was the implementation of age ratings, followed by a 7-year long ceasefire on behalf of the moralfags and Jewish lawyers hellbent on finding a new scapegoat for murderers to use in order to escape responsibility for their actions.

Fallout from Columbine

Nuvola
Moar info: Columbine.

Though these ratings were rarely vindicated in the years hence, following the release of titles such as Doom, Grand Theft Auto and Resident Evil, there had to be that one faggot to ruin it for everyone else. In this case it was two faggots, but the effect they had through their hilariously failed High Score attempt was instrumental in cementing the negative stigma that some hold over violent games as a whole to this day. Immediately Doom and other game-playing clubs at schools and workplaces were banned overnight, and cogs began turning inside the previously-mentioned lawyers.

Violent Video Games 2: Sex-lectric Boogaloo (2004 - 2008)

Nuvola
Moar info: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

In October 2004, Rockstar released San Andreas, the fifth main title of the Grand Theft Auto franchise. By the time most of the intensive modders for its predecessor, Vice City, successfully completed the game two months later, a modder known for the Myriad Islands addon named Barton Waterduck coded a program to view animations. During December and most of January the following year, chat was ablaze on various GTA fora that several unused animations had been discovered, namely SEX, KISSING, SNM, and BLOWJOBZ. It was here that a Dutch manchild named Patrick Wildenborg discovered that the animations were part of an unused code.

8 months following the initial release on PS2 and Xbox, the game was ported (albeit very poorly) to the PC, which is when the proverbial can of worms that continues to haunt the assholes of the Houser brothers to this day was released. The story goes that with mere weeks to go before the final discs would be pressed, some talentless hack decided that rather than remove the whole thing completely and spare any controversy, hiding it was just as viable a solution. This of course, backfired.

So when the time came to pass and the scandal made the news, who did Rockstar choose to blame?

  • Was it the employee(s) who chose not to spend the time removing the feature, delaying the game if necessary?
  • Was it themselves for not checking the game thoroughly before release and prying back into the now stitched-up source code?
  • Was it the backwards rating system that allows full-on massacres with chainsaws, shotguns and molotovs aplenty but a minor depiction of fully-clothed sex is over the line?
  • Or was it the naughty player who stuck his nose where he shouldn't have?

If you answered D, congratulations. And so all copies of SA were recalled and replaced with the dreaded version known as 2.0 that was designed to crash if it detected that any game data was modified. As the internet does not tolerate such rampant faggotry however, within a matter of days a Downgrade Patch was made available. Rockstar ended up as both losers and winners, since they were humiliated at how otherwise nameless hackers managing to fuck up their billion-dollar investment through a single boolean value, yet at the same time won by default since nobody gave a shit at what Hilldog and some jackass had to say.

See Also

Culture War
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismReconquistaRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities