DMT

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The alien you will see, who is also taking our jobs.
You may also see this.

DMT, short for N,N-Dimethyltryptamine, is the most hardcoar psychedelic drug known to man. While DMT can be found in many plants including blades of grass and also your pineal gland, the crystallized or powdered forms that get you high are easy to obtain and affordable if you're willing to fuck up your mind. However, if you are a chemist, you can extract enough DMT from grass to trip many balls. Alternatively you can look it up on google and extract it with pool chemicals, a few buckets and a turkey baster ("How to Make DMT"). The effects last anywhere from seven to ten minutes. Many people who have taken DMT report seeing aliens, and when asked to describe the aliens, all describe beings who fit the same characteristics. The most common ways to do DMT are smoking or snorting. After people do DMT, they will forever think that they are the shit because they found, paid for, and ingested the most ridiculous psychedelic known to man, when in reality DMT is actually a natural chemical in the human body. It's possible DMT is also released in mass quantities when one is about to die, so clearly the easiest and cheapest way to attain DMT and trip balls is to kill yourself right now.

And, no, that's not meth, you stupid fuck.

If you live in a black community, have access to a shaman and are batshit insane, then you may like to try a refreshing beverage alternative to smoking or snorting DMT. This delicious drink is called Ayahuasca and is for those who find LSD 'a bit vanilla'. Some of its more positive effects are the ability to see millions of Mudkips along with the likelihood of explosive diarrhea and vomit that would put tubgirl to shame.

Ayahuasca is the #1 way to check out of civilization walk through Times Square in your underwear without holding a guitar, whether you're a soccer player or soap opera star. The mind-shattering nature of ayahuasca Shiva the God of Death cannot be overstated. An Event Horizon for the brain, what has been seen can never be unseen, because you are merely forgetting all memories, revealing the truth beyond memory. It is the equivalent of watching every animu ever made all at once, sped up over 9000 times, with 5.6 million pounds of rocket fuel strapped to your ass. But the unsettling thing is that you don't go anywhere, it's the world that blasts off around you, exposing the ultimate nature of reality illusion all the way down. Not even the whole history of Japan can surpass DMT in its bizarreness. That is how fucked up it is. Also, it's how the Devil steals your soul.

One quanta away, Satan awaits.
   
 
"This happened to me twenty seconds after I smoked DMT [...] I came down and said, "I cannot believe this; this is impossible, this is completely impossible." There was a declension of gnosis that proved to me in a moment that right here and now, one quanta away, there is raging a universe of active intelligence that is transhuman, hyperdimensional, and extremely alien"
 

 
 

Terence McKenna (sauce)

5-MeO-DMT

DMT's ugly cousin.

5-Methoxy-dimethyltriptamine is the ugly sister of DMT. It can easily be obtained online because of its legal status, or found in many natural sources like various plants and toads. If DMT makes you feel like you're being catapulted into the center of the universe and seeing alternate dimensions, 5-MeO-DMT makes you feel like you're being catapulted into a black hole or a meat grinder. All of your friends who say they've done DMT are lying and they've really done 5-MeO-DMT.

Colorado River Toad

It's been said Bufo alvarius, also known as the Colorado river toad or the sonoran desert toad, is a big, fat brown toad that lives in the sonoran desert or the rivers of Colorado. The venom milked from the glands can be dried and smoked because it contains bufotenin and small amounts of 5-methoxy-dimethyltryptamine. Orally taking the venom ("licking toads") is dangerous because fucktards don't know that there are cardiotoxic (kills your heart you fucking moron) substances in the venom that are only active orally. But you'll probably be fine because... well I don't know, but you will be, for sure. Do it faggot.

5-OH-DMT

The even uglier sister of DMT, also known as Bufotenine. It has amazing and life-changing effects such as severe physical discomfort including circulatory distress, nausea, psychological distress (panic and fear), severe skin flushing, and the possibility of being fatal. And it's illegal in the US and most other countries too. But you're a faggot with no good connections for real DMT, so why not give it a whirl?

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DMT

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