David Duke

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
How are you trying to lay claim to being part of the master race with a boyish white wispy peach fuzz?
What happens when you can't decide between becoming a stoner and becoming a racist.

Dr. David Ernest Duke is a 69-year-old failed English teacher whom had enough money from Daddy to pursue a life of cosplay and blaming Jews for his wife Chloe running off with his best friend named Don Black. To try to regain dignity lost from never holding a real job, David would pursue the art of running a begging campaign. David's inability to be a real man with a real beard, led him to envy the jew for their long and beautiful beards. This potent emotion drove David to Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan and eventually making it as a wannabe politician as the Louisiana House Representative of the 81st district . Apparently, in spite of all his talk about Jews being lying, deceitful, and greedy merchants, David filed a false Tax Return in 2002 which revealed he had been gambling and living it up off of money donated by supporters for six years, during which time he had claimed he was about to be bankrupted by ZOG. When he isn't scamming idiots into sending money to a guy sitting on his engineer daddies trust fund, he is espousing completely off-the-rails with retarded conspiracy theories about ZOG causing his erectile dysfunction or believing that the giant rats that infest his basement are actually Jew larva that are preparing to pupate and emerge as winged Jewlings.

David's completely rational fear of all things Semitic most likely stems from his failure with women in comparison to Orthodox Jews who have arranged marriage. This is evidenced by his 1976 publication of a self-help book for womenunder the double pseudonym "Dorothy Vanderbilt" and "James Konrad"), Finders-Keepers: Finding and Keeping the Man You Want, which contained sexual, Diet, fashion and relationship advice, amounting to pleading women to lower their standards and lay ugly men with permanent peach fuzz. A Tulane University Professor Lawrence Powell actually published a copy to a Louisiana Times knockoff, which revealed David Duke wrote endlessly about vaginal exercises, fellatio, and anal sex. It's also likely that David is a rape victim, as he was quite a faggy looking little twink in his youth.

See Also

David Duke
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]


Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

David Duke is part of a series on National Socialists
Click topics to expand

Sieg Heil!

SchutzstaffelIdeologie, Tradition, Praxis, und StolzMöchtegern-NazisFeinde, Verräter, und verboten