Dead to Rights

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Dead to Rights was a 3-D Nintendo Entertainment System game on the PS2, Xbox and Kidtendo Gaymecube. It was released on August 19, 2002, and dumped into bargain bins on August 20, 2002.

The game was published by Namco, who are known for developing Japanese dating simulators and shitting all over Pac-Man's legacy.

Dead to Rights marks Namco's first (and final) attempt to embrace the art of Western video games.

The storyline follows the interspecies relationship of a police officer and his dog, who are falsely accused of murder. On their path to redemption, they kill, like, 17,000 people, but nobody seems to care about those particular murders. Some other John Woo stuff happens, followed by some Grand Theft Auto III stuff, and some Max Payne stuff... At the end, you discover that the real murderer actually killed your father. That was a spoiler, by the way. I guess you get revenge, or something. The true ending is a mystery since no one bothered to finish it.

The slow-motion sequences prove that Dead to Rights has ample cinematic flare, inspired or directly pilfered from Max Payne or, in turn, Asian action films.


[Insert Peanut Butter Joke Here]

Jack Slate & Shadow

Jack Slate is a police officer in the Grant City Police Department's K-9 division; Shadow is Jack's interspecies life-partner whom he met while scouring Craigslist for a m4m misc. romance. The history of the two is not detailed within the game, but many can devise their own probable fan-fiction. Jack and Shadow share a fantasy relationship which enables communication between them. For example, Jack can command Shadow to do things, such as suck his cock, or— if required— the cock of any foe within their vicinity.

Both Jack and Shadow, wrongfully convicted of murder, must murder their way through the city in an attempt to clear their names of any wrong-doing.


Dead to Rights is a third-person FPS, where you run around and shoot shit until you realize (usually within the first couple of levels) that the game is extremely mediocre.

See Also

External Links

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