Desperate

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A typical desperate person.
Do you feel lonely?
Beauty, sense of humour, personality: Desperate people lack at least two.
Are you in need of companionship, and willing to go to extraordinary lengths to find it? If so, you are desperate!

Contents

What causes people to be desperate?

Daxflame is desperate because of his Asperger's Syndrome.
Desperate women always end up being "easy".
Cause Effect
Asperger's Syndrome Aspies are very desperate because nobody wants to talk to them, despite the fact that they make amusing lulzcows because of their awkwardness. As far as being able to find a sex partner, aspies normally have to rely on date rape drugs in order to get any with something other than their hand.
Emo Emos are desperate because they think no one understands them. Most resort to emosexuality. Thankfully, most do not reproduce because they become an heroes when an emo "female" finds out she's pregnant.
Being fat Fat people are fugly. The only people who are attracted to these whales are sick fucks who like queening, and FFAs. Thus, fatties are desperate and prey on unsuspecting drunks.
Homosexuality Homosexuals are in the middle of a struggle for their "rights" to spread AIDS and destroy the world with their faggotry. They claim there is cultural oppression against them, and thus most are either still in the closet or are out but avoid the demonic breeders that are taking over the world. This makes them very desperate, and willing to fuck anything that looks even remotely male for less than three dollars. At least 100 percent of homosexuals fap to Goatse and Lemonparty on a daily basis.

How to Cure Desperation

If you are desperate, this is the final solution to your problem.

1: If you are a sick fuck who likes bestiality, buy a dog.

2: Move out of your Mom's basement.

3: Take off that narutard head band.

4: ????

5: PROFIT!

Desperate MySpace Celebrities

Brandon Hilton. This faggot friendwhore is so desperate he posts bulletins asking for buttsecks from random shemales over 9000 times a day. He has yet to get any because he is fugly and pro-ana. This is unfortunate because buttsecks causes AIDS, which causes death.

Gay God. Another faggot friendwhore, except this one is emo and is a known cutter. He has had numerous buttsecks partners before, but he wants moar. However, he's a vegan and he likes to dance around in his underwear on the Jew Tubes, which repels future mates. It is a mystery why Gay God has yet to die from AIDS to face the actual God and find out that God hates fags. Thus, Gay God will continue polluting the internets with his desperation.

Tila Tequila. She had a whole reality show dedicated to finding love. She didn't find it. Now she's back for moar. She's obviously desperate because she is a slut, but even then, she can't seem to get what she wants.

What Desperate People Do

Animals can be desperate too.

Desperate people are known to lurk IRL and stalk the objects of their affection. Since desperate people are unable to have sex IRL, they resort to alternative methods, such as ejaculating on printouts of womens' MySpace pictures and auto-erotic asphyxiation. In order to fully express the agony that results from being single, all desperate people make tl;dw vlogs on YouTube and also write tl;dr bullshit on LiveJournal. When they realize they've written a bunch of shit nobody cares about, they often leave LiveJournal, or leave the internets entirely.

However, nobody has ever been as desperate as Lisa Nowak, who drove over 9000 miles in a diaper to try to reach somebody else's man. She was arrested for attempted murder, since she brought a gun with her.

Other Desperate People

External Links


Desperate is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithAmanda ToddBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

Alex FordAmerica's Third PartyAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoArgent009Arguecat3Bambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBikerfoxBill9929Bob RehahnBroniesByAppointmentToChris-chanChuck M.CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDGTrixieDiaper BoyDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDragoneerDrakonEpic Fat GuyErik RibsskogFagolescentsFat ManFaust & PoryFluffy teh wolfFriends of A-LogFurriesGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGhostG-ZayHellkiller777IchverbotJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Kathleen ToddKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMonica PunkMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNick BravoNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPit ViperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSam PepperSethistoSceptreSchnookumsSonmanicSnapesnoggerSuperlisamcbTheSockDetectiveTyciolUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotWeegeeisgoingtokillmYou

Their Methods

9gagAIDSAnimuAsperger's SyndromeBoozeask.fmBody PillowsBullyingCosplayDead FriendDeviantARTDrugsFanFictionFeminismFleshlightFurry ArtHover hand‎HufflepuffSelf-seclusionHackingIRCJenkemLegoLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMinecraftMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNeckbeardNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of FishRuneScapeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSocial JusticeTulpasTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

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Desperate is part of a series on

Sex

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Desperate is part of a series on

Whores

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Desperate is part of a series on Abnormal Psych
DrHouseArt.png Mental illness

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaBalloon FetishBimboficationDick ImpalementEproctophiliaExtreme PornFat Admirer (Female Fat Admirer) • Fat furryFetishFoot FetishFurniture PornFurryGoo girlHomosexualityInflation FetishNecrophiliaMpregLesbian pedophiliaPedophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaPussy WhipSickfuckeryStatuephiliaTulpaVorarephilia

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.org

Psychos:

Alan The PandaBurning ManBubs4696ChupacabraCl0r0xCrystal Head VodkaDamaronDerrick BirdDianna KirklandDiego GrezDisney PrincesDolcettDonna SimpsonDonut GirlDouglas SpinkDoutainiDragoneerDustin DiamondEric W. SchwartzEpic Beard ManEmo Cutter GirlFCYTravisFelice FawnGeek SquadJesus TortillaKenny Glenn The Animal AbuserKevin Havens (his dolls) • Kevin L. O'BrienKimmo Johan AlmShaye Saint John
Moar Info: List of Psychopaths

See also:

AngerASMRAssassinationChild abuseDesperateDomestic violenceFan deathKidnappingMilitarySerial Killers

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