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Dolphy
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Dolphy (Susanne Almanstoetter of Hamburg, Germany) is yet another crazy, cartoon loving, Disney fan based primarily on DeviantART and fanart.lionking.org. Now 28 years old Dolphy is still madly in love with Jim from Treasure Planet (aka That Disney Film That Tanked and No One Cares About). If she draws anything other than Jim and her sucking face you better believe it'll be a furry that she managed to con someone into paying her to do. A challenger has appeared: SelauraNetherfield.
Despite her unrequited love for cartoon boys around the age of fifteen, Dolphy is a loyal friend who will flame you to death if one of her internet buttbuddies is snarked by a group of jealous furfags (Fig.1). Birds of a feather flock together as is the case with Atimon, Dolphy's BFF and a rabid Timon fangirl who was snarked for her own disgusting Timon pr0n. As well as fellow Treasure Planet fan,
In the "artist's" own words:
From her own homepage;
| —Dolphy | ||
Self Insert, Say WUT!?
Anyone who has had the misfortune of going through Dolphy's gallery will quickly realize she draws nothing but furries and herself - most of the time with a fifteen year old boy who she claims to have made older. She openly admits that the girl in these pics is her illustrated self insert. Any artist/author worth their salt knows that self-insert are a big no-no. Because if one person says they don't like the character that automatically means they don't like her. Honestly who would? It's already been discovered that she's a world class, stuck up, bitch. And that her love of a fictional character must not be called into question - but we'll get to that later.
Dolphy's self insert would not be nearly so god awful if she was an accurate self insert - what S.I. is? But it should be noted that her illustrated self looks nothing like her, something most of her ass kissing fans don't get. They only love that Dolphy has curves. What she and the fanherd don't get is that there is a difference between curves and fat. Real Dolphy is fat, drawn!Dolphy is "curvy." Compares these to her drawn self. You won't find any similarities.
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What happened to Nosedive?
It's no secret that Dolphy loves cartoon dick. And before there was Jim there was Nosedive. A natural reaction to that name is "Who?" Well we're here to open the vault and go back in time to 1996. Nosedive was the annoying, kid brother of Wildwing and apparently a main character in the lame ass cartoon version of the Mighty Ducks. The cartoon version of the mighty ducks had nothing to do with the movie trilogy and was twice as unnecessary. Featuring anthropomorphic ducks in a world inhabited by humans on the verge of being destroyed by Dinosaurs for some reason. I shit you not, that's what the show is about.
Anyway, for some reason Dolphy took a liking to Nosedive and started sucking his dick back in 1999 - where she produced assloads of crappy pics of her and her beloved as lions, inserting herself into their world as a fellow anthro duck - even though the possibility of more ducks on Earth is impossible. At any rate, Dolphy claims not to be a furry when that's how she started out. When Treasure Planet came out in 2002, Dolphy dumped Nosedive like a turd and proceeded to hump different teenager....a human teenager.
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Fantasies of a 28 year old woman
Note: These were made in 2007 - 2008 when she was 23 (and should've known better than to put them anywhere on the internet)
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The talented "artist"
Dolphy is so much more than just a grown woman, Mary Sue and a furfag attending animation school with no job. What more could she possibly be, you ask? Well, read on.
NICKNAME : Dolphy
REAL NAME : Susanne Almanstoetter
AGE/BIRTHDAY : 24 / October 4th , 1984 (she's 28 now)
HEIGHT : 1,67 m
WEIGHT : You really think she'll tell ya that? Then you're crazier than she thought! : D
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Even her tracing skills are awesome!
Death of a Loved One, trivial compared to a loss of 30 dollars
Only Dolphy, with her legion of retarded fans, can get away with making herself seem like quite the poor starving artist for losing out on a little bit of money (a mere $30 or so?) while on the flip side, someone lost her mother.
Dolphy whined that one of her commissioners was able to get a free sketch from her oh-so-talented hands. This fan commissioned from Dolphy a picture dedicated to her recently dead mother. Dolphy usually shows her commissioners a sketch before the commissioner has to pay, and this episode was no exception. The commissioner was probably busy burying her dead mother, so paying an internet artist for something as trivial as this probably wouldn't be her top priority, and so she never answered Dolphy's emails.
Most other artists would let it be. Not finish the picture and be done with it--or perhaps even make it a gift for this poor girl. But Dolphy threw a bitch fit. She finished the picture, posted it on her DA site and bitched about how she got ripped off in true attention whore fashion.
Her fans whined with her in chorus. What cruel person could take advantage of poor Dolphy like that, after all. Screw your dead mother, Dolphy needs that $30 to buy more Jim memorabilia she can masturbate to!
And of course, Dolphy was eventually paid that money by fellow basement-dweller Dagerom [1]. That’s right, some idiot thought, “Oh, the injustice!”, paid Dolphy the money, and will see nothing from it.
Dolphy needs some moar asspats and money, plz.
The Concept Art Incident
| —some troll wannabe | ||
On August 26, 2008, an unfunny newfag did it wrong and took a couple pieces of Dolphy's art to parade in front of the drawfags over at ConceptArt. It drew expected criticism on anatomy and perspective to which the obvious fail troll responded with standard boring and painfully fake butthurt, succeeding in generating a total of zero lulz. The thread was quickly locked as the Conceptart forumers realized obvious troll is obvious.
The real Dolphy was promptly alerted by her legion of fantards, posting a call to arms in her DA journal. Naturally her fanfucks flooded Conceptart to swamp the mods with hundreds of reports of the offender, and spamming the Conceptart Lounge with Dolphy Support threads. Insults and accusations flew as over 100 comments were posted in her journal, her fans foaming at the mouth, and lashing out at the troll, Conceptart's obvious jealousy at Dolphy's mad skillz, and accusing ED for their sins against Dolphy. The incident ended with with fans offering Dolphy asspats and e-penis sucking to ease the unjust cruelty of having her work unwillingly critiqued.
For the Love of Love (Troll Artwork and Exploitables)
Sparklekitty x Jim has quite the fan-following ever since Dolphy popularized it.
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Dolphy the Skilled Author
Dolphy's also into the fanfiction business! Doesn't that surprise you? But being a very skilled author she would NEVAR write Mary Sue fics. Here's an example from her "me did writy writy, wanna see?" page:
| —Dolphy |
Dolphy's latest obsession
Sometime last Thursday, Dolphy and her retarded friends decided to make a cartoon. This triggered Dolphy's lastest obsession, kiwis. That's right, those fucktarded birds that resemble hairy testicles. You can enjoy her Kiwi artwork, or, watch her shitty movie here. Please troll at your own convience.
What basically happens in the movie is a stupid bird is emo because all the other animals have fuck buddies but he/she/it doesn't. In a fit of emo raeg, it somehow knocks a fruit out of a tree, and decides to fuck it (sex scene tastefully cut out, but plenty of foreplay, post coital and morning after scenes included). The fruit, pissed off at being raped, decides to make a break for it. Some fatass retard sporting a pedo beard grabs the stupid bird and tries to kill it. The retarded chicken ends up tapping some other trap bird who is offended, but then gives in and gets fucked. The end.
Fun fact: Dolphy does the voice of the bird in this film. Imagine our Dolphy, fat and fugly as ever, in a studio, sighing, purring, and gasping into a microphone. Feel disgusted yet?
Another fun fact: The film is impossible to fap to. Go on. Try it.
Horseshittastic
Horsetastic is a shitty webcomic Dolphy conned some bitch into paying her to do. It's an amazing, original, hilarious cartoon about horses doing horse things. Her creative, totally original characters are as follows:
There's also a little girl but Dolphy doesn't care about her because she's into little boys. For some reason the horses put up with the girl instead of stomping her to death.
Ways to Troll her
It's always fun messing with someone as stuck up as Dolphy. She gets aggravated at the littlest things. One very common one is when people don't read her TL;DR artist comments on her pictures. Tread lightly, this bitch isn't afraid to block anyone she feels will cause her drama and ruin her perfect stream of ass kissing comments.
1. Ask who the girl in her pictures is
2. Ask who the guy in her pictures is
3. Ask is she does requests/trades/anything without having to pay her
4. Tell her beta fish are stupid
5. Tell her Jim would never date a fat girl like her and link to a skinny Treasure Planet OC
6. Tell her Jim isn't real
7. Ask her about her porn art of her and Jim
8. Ask why she dumped Nosedive
9. Tell her she's not perfect and needs improvement i.e. THE TRUTH!
10. Ask why Jim is making out with his sister/mom
11. ????
12. PROFIT!!
See Also
External Links
Dolphy
Dolphiana
- Her portfolio website. It's empty except for a few crappy sketches because all she draws is fanart and furry shit
now-famous porn- baleeted!- Her Youtube account
- Her Lion King sue art
- Dolphy shits on 9/11 victims with her furfaggotry
- Dolphy Banned from SA
- Dolphy seeks like minded BBW
- Dolphy's official site - closed
- furry-to-furry account?
- second f2f account? wtf?
- buy Dolphy toys on patched together!
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Dolphy is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Dolphy is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |



