From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Anita, that you?
Are you a true American Patriot? Check out The Donald for the pro-Trump article.
Donald Trump, Donald Drumpf or Telangpu, is a toupee wearing charlatan who somehow became the American President in 2017 by saying out loud in National Television what sub-human voters say out loud in private, and by gaslighting the nation. Somehow (see average voter IQ) he has convinced the masses that he wasn't running on contributions, even though he actually was. The rest of his campaign, was literally his lending himself the money, self funding, that is. Before becoming president he was known for inheriting a large sum of money and spending it on doomed projects, declaring bankruptcy, selling them, evading tax, and somehow making a profit. So guess what he will do with America? He will put his name all over it before running it into the ground and selling it to the Chinese in TPP 2.0, after which he'll retire to a South Florida like other real estate developers from Queens.
美国 is how you spell America. You are welcome. Enjoy your new Chinese overlords in 2020.
President Trump's great reality television show is called The Apprentice. The show also has a retarded brother called "The Celebrity Apprentice." This show has been home to many stars, including Lil' Jon, La Toya Jackson, and that one fat guy. President Donald Trump has also been seen extorting money from other contestants including rock singer Meatloaf. Arnold Schwarzenegger is now hosting The Celebrity Apprentice because even President Donald Trump's job has been stolen by an immigrant.
Knowledge on America
—President Donald Trump on The Colbert Report
Trump vs Trump
How to be President Trump in Grand Theft Auto V
Trump is not his real name
Like two out of three Red-Blooded Americans, Donny's grandpa was originally a German, but because he didn't want to pay taxes or serve in the military he fled to the USA with only the money he owed the Kaiser's government and his new slogan: Toll macht frei. But there was a problem when you are named Drumpf in 1885's USA, so he tried his luck in Canada instead. After returning to Germany to marry, only to return to Queens again grandpa Friedrich made a fortune in brothels and died from the Spanish Flu.
- The first Trump hotel was known for selling prostitutes and generating positive press reviews, a practice and reputation that only improves with further Drumpf generations.
- Just like his grandpa, Donald is also known for tax evasion.
- His actual name is Drumpf, but he will be recorded in Chinese Annals as Te Lang Poo or 特朗>:(
- 1991 - He had to sell his yacht, to pay off the debt on Taj Mahal casino, less than a year after its opening. He was saved by billionaire Carl C. Icahn - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 1992 - When he couldn't pay for Trump Plaza Hotel, so it had to be bought out by Citibank. - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 1999 - Trump-Maples marriage fails after an almost-rape incident. Trump declared Chapter 11 Divorce.
- 2004 - Couldn't afford the "crushing debt" of Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc. He went from 47% of the stakes to a measly 27% - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 2009 - Donnie was kindly asked to step down as the head of the board when Trump Entertainment Resorts couldn't pay a 53 million dollar bill. - The company was forced to declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Was bought by Carl C. Icahn, so Americans shouldn't be without jobs.
- 2017 - America, when he spends all the money on the defense budget. Will declare a chapter 11 bankruptcy to the Chinese.
Failed business ventures
- 1985 - The New Jersey Generals was a USFL team that Trump re-bought. His decision was so poor that not only did he destroy the team, he destroyed an entire league.
- 1990 - Trump the Game was a Monopoly rip-off. It was brought back in 2005, to meh reviews.
- 1992 - Trump Shuttle where he managed to lose $100 million.
- 2007 - Trump Mortgage was led off by this immortal comment: "I think it's a great time to start a mortgage company ... who knows about financing better than I do?". It was right before the housing market crash. Well done, Nostradamus.
- 2007 - Trump Steaks were discontinued almost immediately. The Trump Steakhouse was found to be utterly fucking disgusting to the point where even Gordon Ramsay would give up. It was closed because it had expired yogurt and five months overdue duck.
- 2007 - GoTrump.com was a place for Trump by Trump. It shut down within a year.
- 2008 - Trump Vodka was abandoned just a mere two years after being released. Did we mention that Trump is a teetotaler and his brother was a severe alcoholic?
- 2009 - Trump Magazine first appeared in 2007, where his daughter was on the front page. Unfortunately she was dressed. It was supposed to cash in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities. Didn't work out.
- 2010 - Trump Ice. Would you like to buy some "Natural" "Spring" "Water", that tasted like socks?
- 2011 - Trump University was a diploma mill. Trump ended up getting sued for 40 million dollars, because he lied.
Settled in 2016 for $25 Million he did not have time to show up in court because he is the soon to be President.
President Trump spends his days in his Manhattan home, eating delicious cake and playing with himself. He dreams of Jessi Slaughter and faps his 24 karat gilded five inch penis. In recent years he has begun to lure in little boys with wads of cash to have sex with him. President Trump, being the latent homosexual that is his agenda, is the sole financial source behind Boku no Pico. It is rumored that the plot is inspired by President Trump's childhood, but given how much President Trump brags about his accomplishments, if he did have such an awesome childhood--he'd never shut the fuck up about it. It is speculated that he will pander to militant homosexuals after he locks up the GOP nomination. He also has an extensive wardrobe, which ranges from green business suits to skimpy, black panties. It should be noted that President Trump has managed to bankrupt his entire business empire, twice, the first time it was a chain of casino resorts, which even those with the most tenuous grasp on economics, will tell you is fucking impossible unless you
are a hire complete and utter retards. Both times President Trump got back on his feet again, from a combination of giving blowjobs to his neo-con friends (including the Clintons) and begging for bailouts from the government. The joke is on you cause he has "fuck you" money many times over and you are reading this not fully clothed.
Make incest great again
Despite a many a failed marriages Donnie has always claimed he is a family man. And how can he maintain that? Simple. By wanting to boink his daughter.
Q: What's the favorite thing you have in common with your daughter
—A family that fucks together, sticks together
Getting his Walk of Fame Star removed
Even Spider-Man hates Donnie
Mr. Drumpf Goes to Washington
On 9th Nov 2016 this happened finally shattering that last glass ceiling; for the incompetent and corrupt:
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|Drumpf||About missing Pics|
- Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this
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- Bernie Sanders
- Blaming China
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- Drumpf article by white alt-right shitlords
- Hillary Clinton
- The Man
- The True God
- Weasel words
- The Great White Hope
- Is Trump our Last Chance? (probably)
- Trump's unwelcome support
- 10 Dark Secrets of Trump
- How the Trump regime was manufactured by a war inside the Deep State
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