From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|KILL THE MUTANT. BURN THE HERETIC. PURGE THE UNCLEAN. |
VENERATE THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND.
His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus I of the House of Trump will make Warhammer 40,000 real. He is a pretty cool guy and is the 45th president of the United States and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Donald is around cause He'll rape you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for libel, and pillage your clan of its cattle and fertile women. President Donald Trump is a fucking genius. One fact that proves just how much of a genius The Donald is, He has personally gone bankrupt four fucking times and pissed away billions of dollars and yet people still get in line to give His asshole their money. Similarly He's ran a successful campaign by saying things that would automatically disqualify any other contestant and yet people still got in line to vote for Him, get a glimpse of Him, or get a (pro-bono) part as a planted actor-protester during His fun rallies. And he literally put an epic Just As Planned: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Now Trump is on the Iron Throne, gloating U mad SJWs? while Democrats are committing mass suicide while yelling "You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!"
— --Bill Maher, a typical libtard who can't be more mature than "pee and poo."
After 18 months of relentless bitchfighting, constant bashing by the media to the point of obvious bias and collusion, literal loathing by leftists and extreme institutional corruption, Trump still won the 2016 United States Presidential election and became POTUS. GG.
Bush family conspiracy
It wouldn't be a Presidential election without an attempt to rig it being made by the Bush dynasty, and 2016 was no exception.
In October 2016, a tape emerged, in which The Donald is heard engaging in harmless banter about how He flirts with the laydees.
The libtard media naturally went apeshit over it, announcing it as 'game over' for the touching-up-loving Tycoon.
What they missed was that for some reason) is the nephew of George HW Bush and therefore Jeb Bush's cousin. Update: January 19, 2017. A day before Trump's inauguration, Grandpa Bush was taken into hospital, scheduled for release the day after the event. Obviously trying to establish a water-tight alibi.for the tape (recorded in 2005 and kept secret till now
Weeks before election day, multiple women came forward accusing The Donald of almost rape, over a year into His campaign, and years after the fact. One woman even accused the billionaire of kissing her on the lips! How the fuck does a sexually aggressive billionaire in a suit keep getting away with it? What woman fantasizes about that? Women didn't buy Fifty Shades of Grey, the fastest selling paperback of all time. Thanks to Billy Bush, who was fired by the Today Show, we all know what kind of man Trump really is! What woman would ever want a rich white guy to grab them by the pussy? Apparently, 1998 Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with The Donald from 2005 to 2006 while He was married to Melania Trump. McDougal allegedly told her story to the National Enquirer a decade later for $150,000. But that's just tabloid garbage, like Bill Clinton supposedly having an affair with Gennifer Flowers for a dozen years, or Bill Clinton supposedly raping Juanita Broaddrick in 1987, or Bill Clinton supposedly settling with Paula Jones for $850,000, or Hillary Clinton flying to Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein at least 6 times. Amirite? The White House has standards people! You can't just put some guy into the White House who's going to fuck Marilyn Monroe or get a BJ in the Oval Office from a Jewish intern and stick a cigar up her cooch. Women will not stand for it!
How to be President Trump in Grand Theft Auto V
Donald Trump wins the nomination
Trump has won the nomination by default. The last of the republican nominees quit. Hillary Clinton was the last person left in His way, but He rose to power nonetheless.
The establishment didn't want it.
Leaders of the RNC didn't want it.
Most of the mainstream media pundits didn't want it.
Literally 100% of people polled didn't want it.
Obama didn't want it.
Comey didn't want it.
Le epic liberal celebrities like John Oliver, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart didn't want it.
Literally 100% of the media didn't want it
Goldman Sachs didn't want it.
JP Morgan didn't want it.
George Soros didn't want it.
A shitload of other SJW apologists and globalist muslim importers didn't want it.
People who label everything racist and offensive didn't want it.
The overwhelming majority of elitist out of touch faggots colluding with the media didn't want it.
But the postman delivering your mail wanted it.
Your barber down the street wanted it.
Your local plumber fixing your pipes wanted it.
The hardworking coalminer who worked 20 hours a day to put his 2 kids through college wanted it.
The man driving you on the bus wanted it.
The people wanted it.
Primaries were SO cash
My name is Donald J Trump, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are sweaty, retarded, choke artists who spend every second of your campaign putting on make up. You are everything bad in this country. Honestly, have any of you ever built a skyscraper with your name on it? I mean, I guess it's fun memorizing the same speech given by your handlers and screwing the electorate because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than having Conservative Gay Foam Parties.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I built hotels and casinos around the World, and a whole city in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. What jobs have you created other than "robocall smearing ghost-writers"? I also got my own Boeing 757, and have a banging hot daughter (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my daughter Ivanka (Yael Kushner)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little loser? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Trump University, and I’ve been involved in numerous hot bids on NYC real estates, and I have over 300 confirmed deals. I am trained in gorilla undercutting and I’m the top mogul in the entire US real estate agencies. You are nothing to me but just another loser. I will outcompete the fuck out of you with energy the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, dummy. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of lawyers across the USA and your attorney is being contacted right now so you better prepare for the lawsuit, liar. The court date that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking broke, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can negotiate with you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in the art of the deal, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Trump Organization and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable assets off the face of the continent, you low-energy loser. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “libelous” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn dummy. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking stumped, kiddo.
Gallery of Greatness Again
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Drama-whoring as political activism
Prior to Trump winning the 2016 election, countless individuals across the Unites States vowed to become expatriates. Some throwers of said political tantrums are more noteworthy than others:
- Miley Cyrus
- Whoopi Goldberg✡
- Samuel Jackson
- George Lopez
- George Cloney and his Muslim wife Amal
- Al Sharpton
- Jon "Stewart" Leibowitz✡
- Eddie Griffin
- Rosie O’Donnell
- Barry Diller
- Katie Hopkins
- Omari Hardwick
- Amy Schumer and her fat vagina✡
- Lena Dunham
- Chelsea Handler ✡
- Bryan Cranston
- Katy Perry
- Tara Strong
- Anita Sarkeesian wants more victim bucks because of her feelings
- Brianna Wu blames GamerGate and wants to run for Congress 2018
- Literally every crybaby liberal between the ages of 14-22
In a nutshell
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Trump 'Make America Great Again' hat meme
In 2015, President Trump introduced His campaign swag bearing the slogan 'Make America Great Again'. By the end of 2016, it is expected that everyone in America who isn't a SJW or ISIS member will be sporting the popular 'Make America Great Again' ballcap
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What Trump will do to ISIS
Within the frigid depths of January, 2016, Republican media consultant and adviser to multiple failed candidates Rick Wilson railed against Trump the only way he knew how. During a television interview, Wilson denounced Trump's younger supporters as childless men who fap to anime and will never amount to anything. Though none can deny the obvious truth of such a statement, said lack of refutation did nothing to deter something along the lines of blowback.
Watchful and doubtlessly butthurt Trumpenkriegers almost immediately discovered that Wilson's son was a 19 year old layabout whose primary activity was writing and publishing blatantly cringeworthy snuff and rape fapfiction. In particular, Rick Wilson's son, Andrew Wilson, enjoys fantasizing about brutally beating and raping prostitutes and pissing down their throats. It appears as though Wilson has yet to realize the hypocrisy of the situation, as his own deviant wastrel is no better than the weeaboos he openly loathes.
Strangely enough, this is not the only time that Wlson's name has surfaced in connection with dodgy fiction about Trump and pissing prostitutes.
Skills and XP points
- President Trump has the unique and awesome ability to dupe both Jews and goyim out of their money like a Chinaman.
- President Trump also has the ability to suspend time itself. This amazing power means that even though He continues to get older, His girlfriends never age beyond 23.
- Extra Points against Barbarians
- Can start a Golden Age (will consume the unit)
- Fags at ED stand behind Him every step of the way.
Things The Donald LOVES
- Grabbing pussy
- Your Mom
- Wounded soldiers
- Wrong Wrong Wrong
- The opposite of immigrants
- Mexico, he loves the Mexican People
- African Americans, he loves their fried chicken
Products and companies President Trump asks you to boycott
- Oreo cookies
Carrier Air Conditioners
- Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
- Mexican Drugs
- Chinese Products(except His hats)
- Taco Bell's Tex-Mex menu
- The Democratic Party
- Basket of deplorables (I hear they're all in the KKK, much like the KKK's first Grand Dragon, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention)
- Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors
- Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke
- Frog lovers
- The South
- Some generals or some shit
- Some union having to do with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, responsible for dealing with wetbacks
- Chachi/Charles in Charge
- Peter Thiel, who The Advocate said could not be gay as a result
- That fag Milo
- The Alt-right
- Ted Nugent
- Tom Brady
- Former Yankee Paul O'Neill
- Former college basketball coach Bob Knight
- Baseball player Johnny Damon
- Mike Ditka
- Pro golfer Natalie Gulbis
- Mike Tyson
- Dennis Rodman
- Hulk Hogan
- Dana White
- Kid Rock
- Angelina Jolie's dad Jon Voight
- Duck Dynasty star Willie Robertson
- People who hate women
- Omarosa Manigault
- Teresa Giudice
- Azealia Banks
- Tila Tequila
- Loretta Lynn
- Gary Busey
- Stephen Baldwin
- Aaron Carter
- Marxist philosopher Slavoj Zizek
- Wayne Newton
- Jesse James
- Ann Coulter
- Mike Cernovich
- Stefan Molyneux
- Obama's brother Malik Obama
- Dilbert creator Scott Adams
- Paul Joseph Watson
- Sargon of Akkad
- Jesus Christ
- Mormon Jesus
- You (Because you think he can made anime real)
President Trump's new best friends
- Trump article by shitlib faggots
- Dolan Trump
- Mike Pence - running mate and VP
- Bernie Madoff
- Bernie Sanders
- Blaming China
- Hillary Clinton
- The Man
- The True God
- Trump Tower Climber
- Thomas Dimassimo
- AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck
- Candice the Cuckslayer
- Khizr Khan, token Muslim who Hillary brought to the DNC, supported terrorists in the 80s, had piss-drinking sex parties in the 90s, passed the torch on to the one who didn't die, prevents wife from talking
- Putative (Adj)
- Trump the Master Persuader Wizard
Now you too can stump the trumplol
- Entertainment Tonight covers Trump/Rosie drama - lol
- Vote for Donald Trump to Make America Great Again
- The 'perfect storm'? - Holocaust scholar teaches kids that Trump is like Hitler, school suspends him as a threat to their 'safe space' (citing traumatised chidren) and it sparks an internet petition.
- Butthurt courtesy of almost the entire staff of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
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