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Dora the Explorer

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Typical Dora the Explorer toy.



Dora the Explorer (moar liek Whora the Explorer, amirite?) is a cartoon created by, and for, the pedophiles and retards staffing Viacom as of last Thursday. In their attempts to teach Spanish to children they have provided a great fanservice to pedophiles. The show has become worshiped by autistics, kindergardeners, 5-year-old girls, potheads, pedophiles, and the children of illegals.

What a biatch.

Besides, 4chan hates her, mostly because she's a bit of saucy Latino poon they will never taste. Her very existence is mockery to racist honkies. $ch is full of cunt-boys and dick-choppers anyway, so really who cares. Whenever DTH reruns come on Nick Jr thousands of hands disappear into thousands of dirty men's underpanties.


The show

Typical episode

The plot repeats every fucking episode, involving Dora traveling to a hidey hole, finding lost treasures or friends and asking the audience where some very obvious locations are hidden on the screen. In some point of the episode, a burglar known only as black person tries to steal their items but ends up getting pwnt by Dora and Boots. At the end of EVERY episode, Dora and friends end up singing the annoying We Did It song.


The characters of the show include:

  • Dora: A 9-year-old Hehican bitch who jumped the fence into America. She lives on a stolen Social Security number and travels with her monkey friend, Boots. She is the T&A in this series and returns home by blowing a nice guy willing to give a nice girl like her a ride. She is a dyke and she likes to fuck Boots in the ass every Cinco de Mayo.
  • Boots: Dora's monkey fuck friend. Smuggled into America by Dora's cousin Diego, a Mexican drug trafficker and smuggler. He hides drugs in his boots.
  • Swiper the Fox: An anthropomorphic fox who stalks Dora and Boots. He tries but always fails at stealing their items. This can be proven because he's never actually stolen an item, just picked it up and thrown it twenty feet. This, of course is presuming he actually managed to get his hands on whatever piece of shit item caught his fancy, as he can be easily deterred from "swiping" by Dora and Boots telling him not to three times. It should be noted that the only thing of value that he ever "swiped" was Dora's virginity. Studies have shown that Swiper enjoys robbing people due to his black person, hidden in his foxy fursuit. This explains why he has urges for mugging people, and why he lives in a hole in the ground.
  • The Grumpy Old Troll: border patrol agent who likes to troll Dora and her friends by not letting them cross his bridge until they solve his riddle. He sucks at his job because he has never stopped Dora from crossing the border. It's unknown if he actually owns the bridges he hops out from under or if they are assigned posts given to him by the U.S. government. He always sings a song to Dora and Boots when they encounter him, probably his way of reading them their Miranda Rights SPICS DON'T GET MIRANDA RIGHTS DUMBASS!
  • The Map: Dora's autism-addled, overly hyperactive equivalent to a Mexican GPS. It is obvious to those who dare watch the show for longer than five minutes that this twitchy, fidgety "companion" of Dora most likely never sees the light of day save for the scant few moments when he's called upon to do his dark mistress's bidding, during which he spasmodically writhes around shouting directions and information in a happy, upbeat manner....kinda like some vile combination of Billy Mays and a semi-postal customer service he tries desperately to obtain his freedom before beging sealed once more in his sweaty and most likely urine soaked prison.
  • And more characters (like Backpack) that nobody cares about.


Dora after being stopped by border patrol agents in Arizona.

Many argue that Dora may have been an illegal immigrant crossing into America (she is), that the show has hidden subliminal messages about illegal immigration (it does), and in some cases, some much bawwing and whining about how Dora is a stereotype of a Mexican girl (she is). Of course it makes Internet videogame-grinder pussyboys hard so they spend too much time obsesssing over her tiny little brown veg, ohhhh.

Dora the Explorer is a children’s cartoon about a Mehican girl trying to get over the river with all of her friends to her grandmother’s house and they always have to get by the Grumpy Old Troll, who represents The Border Patrol.


—(A person at Yahoo answers, not making this up)

This is just a taste of what PBS offered and has caused great offense to our American homes. The biggest trick they’ve played on us, however, is likely with a television show team-up they did with children’s channel Nickelodeon. They created a Mehican show called Dora the Explorer, to make kids think it was okay for America to have illegal Mexican immigrants sneaking around our country.

Dora the Explorer is a child’s television show that tries to influence kids to embrace illegal Mexican immigrants.


—Moar shit from

She gone be pragnant damn soon.


—Your obscenely fat mother

Previous Quote | Next Quote


Dora as a 12-year-old. That means moar delicious loli for pedophiles.

Since most young girls do not want to watch a show about a fat beaner, they remade Dora's current look. What came out was an older, and more attractive version of Dora. This was so they could keep onto their younger viewers as they grow older, and so pedos could have something better to splooge over. Many parents have BAWWWed over the new design and have made countless complaints.

I can see the wheels turning in the minds of the marketing "geniuses" at Nickelodeon: Older Dora equals more viewers. Somehow I don't see the logic. So the "new and improved" Dora is going to dump her monkey friend Boots and hook up with these proposed "Explorer Girls" and do what? Have sleepovers to discuss boys, make up and the latest fashion trends?


—Because every young girl has a monkey for a friend and goes all over the world.

Arriba! She made it!
I say leave well enough alone. Dora is making Nickelodeon a fortune just the way she is. Changing the target market and giving Dora human friends, who are more interested in what they will be wearing to help rescue Tico from Swiper or wondering whether climbing muddy mountain will ruin their hair or (gasp!) compromise the look of their freshly polished nails, will only encourage parents like me to look elsewhere for quality entertainment for their preschoolers.


—A very, very concerned parent.

Contact your Representative today

Dear Senator Diane Feinstein,

For too long, the United States has compromised our borders and our American values by giving refuge to Mexicans. To make matters worse, children’s shows, like Dora the Explorer, continue to brainwash our children into believing that illegal immigration is okay. On the show, the protagonist Dora, accompanied by her sidekick Boots, travel frequently to many different places. For some reason, she carries a rope, grappling hook, and cookies (that are possibly laced with marijuana) to many different places.

In addition, Dora and Boots are obviously transporting contraband. It is no wonder that Swiper the Fox, who represents a narcotics officer, has tried to confiscate the prohibited items. However, the scantily clad five-year-old continues to outsmart border patrol. Dora’s suspicious activities suggest drug trafficking, prostitution, and Mexican osmosis. What values do that promote in our country?

To make matters worse, ever since my daughter Kaylee started watching the show she has been incessantly counting in Spanish. I’m afraid she counts better in Spanish than she does in English.

Ma'am, it is imperative to learn from our mistakes. Considering the high rates of illegal immigration and teenage libido, we must air shows that promote Christian-American values. For these reasons, I am suggesting that we create a show called “The Adventures of Jesus Christ.” On season one, Little Jesus will face obstacles, including lust, greed, gluttony, sloth, envy, pride, and wrath, and overcome them while singing hymns. As an ordained minister with a background in singing, I will have no problem recording the soundtrack with my church.

As a Jesus missionary I implore you to seriously consider my recommendation to replace Dora the Explorer with The Adventures of Jesus Christ. If you have any questions please email me [email protected] After all, Jesus is pronounced JAY-Sus, not Hey-Soos.


—Sincerely, Denise L. Jones


Real life footage of Dora in her natural habitat.

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See also

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Dora the Explorer is part of a series on


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