Dying alone

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Living the feel


Gay, elderly and alone. (In New York.)
Much like his eyebrows, this Azn will die alone.
This is you Like you would have friends.

The journey of dying alone is not unlike the Noble Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism. One must discipline the body and mind in preparation for alienating everyone who has ever loved or cared for you (if there ever was anyone). The first step in this journey is often a self diagnosis of Assperger's or Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopath). Dying alone is an endeavor which takes a lifetime of dedication.


Contents

Dying Alone Checklist

This is YOU bitching about your missed opportunity
OSHA-required warning sign reveals ugly truth.
  • You're a nigger.
  • You hate your family and they don't understand why.
  • You hate all your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends even though they want to "like" you. lol like you've ever had one.
  • You have no relationship with your neighbors.(who will only notice/report you because of the stench of decaying flesh).
  • You despise humanity and prefer the company of yourself, cats and 'people' you have never met and probably never will.
  • You don't have a job. --> Ergo you don't have much money in the bank (less than zero). You don't have a car. You have little content in your wallet (three worn receipts from McDonald's). When/if you wear pants, they're jizz and urine-stained khakis. You're the all-singing (WHEN I WAS), all-dancing (DDR) crap of the world and it's your duty to refuse to participate in the status quo.
  • You maxed out all your credit cards on purely selfish pursuits like p0rn, Farmville coins, Runescape, fast food and whiskey. Why bother wasting other people's money on charity when you can spend it all on yourself?
  • You're 300lbs, and waiting for your Edward Cullen.
  • You seed just to interact with someone.
  • Google doesn't even keep a marketing profile on you.
  • Facebook is useless, even bots don't add you.
  • You make torrents, and hope the creation fails so you have something to do.
  • You read spam and pretend its email from friends.
  • You send the RIAA your IP logs, and hope they call.
  • You post banned content on sites, just so a mod has to look at it to delete it.
  • You write about yourself on Encyclopedia Dramatica and no one can tell you aren't joking ):
  • You correct a spelling error in a checklist about you )):

Those Who Have Died Alone Before Us

Owning one of these guarantees that you will be dying happily alone.
Owning one of these guarantees that you're gay, and will be dying alone.
Owning one of these guarantees you're a demented dogfucker and will be dying alone.

People with the Noble Aspiration of Dying Alone

BAWWWWW,I have no friends, noone is at my party and Im dying alone. roflpwnd

People Who Deserve To Die Alone

If you make/own one of these,you are a weeaboo digifaggot who will die alone.

See Also

External Links

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Dying alone is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithAmanda ToddBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

Alex FordAmerica's Third PartyAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoArgent009Arguecat3Bambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBikerfoxBill9929Bob RehahnBroniesByAppointmentToChris-chanChuck M.CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDGTrixieDiaper BoyDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDragoneerDrakonEpic Fat GuyErik RibsskogFagolescentsFat ManFaust & PoryFluffy teh wolfFriends of A-LogFurriesGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGhostG-ZayHellkiller777IchverbotJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Kathleen ToddKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMonica PunkMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNick BravoNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPit ViperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSam PepperSethistoSceptreSchnookumsSonmanicSnapesnoggerSuperlisamcbTheSockDetectiveTyciolUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotWeegeeisgoingtokillmYou

Their Methods

9gagAIDSAnimuAsperger's SyndromeBoozeask.fmBody PillowsBullyingCosplayDead FriendDeviantARTDrugsFanFictionFeminismFleshlightFurry ArtHover hand‎HufflepuffSelf-seclusionHackingIRCJenkemLegoLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMinecraftMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNeckbeardNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of FishRuneScapeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSocial JusticeTulpasTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

Featured article February 14, 2009
Preceded by
Last Thursday
Dying alone Succeeded by
So i herd u liek mudkip
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