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E-penis

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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An E-penis or E-pen0r is the virtual power someone has through control over others through computers as long as that control does not extend to real life, like doing hacking that causes you to gain real money. Simply put, E-penis is a measure of how much power you have on the internets. E-penis can be from power from controlling a BBS, chat room, ISP, live journal, message board, website, or wiki. It can come from being powerful in a game (whether from wasting their life away to gain skill or by cheating) or being the leader of a big group in said game. It can also be from the old-fashioned past-time of mailbombing; maybe even Denial of Service attacks over IRC (large scale DoS get you sent to prison). Pretty much, the larger your E-penis is, the less you're really worth in real life. Many people have fallen victim to bragging about their e-pen0r size and listing their "e-complishments" to their trolls, inviting and even challenging others to take them down a notch or two.

E-penis has and always will be a source of drama. The examples are too numerous to list.

Contents

Psychology

The E-penis is based off E-psychiatrist Freud's theory of penis envy. Freudian states that women on the internets lack the powerful, strong genitalia of a man and therefore make it up by whoring themselves to other giant pen0r-wielders. Conversely, 13 year old boys play Starcraft and mod on shitty forums, so there's two different spectrums to go off of. However, traps have been shown to have bigger E-Penes than men and women.

Examples

A chart measuring the e-cocks of several web celebrities
  • Newgrounds: Newgrounds is a site notorious for its e-penis sucking. Usually n00bs like/have to suck the mods/regulars e-penis to even get a baby step anywhere.
  • FanFiction.Net: Is a site that thrives on e-penis suckings. It's one giant circle jerk of telling people how awesome someone's story is, regardless of how terrible it is. Most fan art web sites/forums fall into this category as well. (See below.)
  • LiveJournal: If you've read one of the numerous internet blogs on how to draw animefurfag eyes, you can receive E-penis massages here.
  • GameFAQs: Apparently, no matter how noobish you are everywhere else, they'll give your e-penis a handjob as long as you've been there for a while (and make shitty attempts at humor).
  • DeviantArt: l2trace
  • reddit: A place to gain e-points for telling a popular opinion. basically a big circlejerk of confirmation bias.
  • Last.FM: Announce to the world that you listen to music and have your password in a public database.
  • YouTube: Also thrives on e-penis suckings like it's their second job, filled with more and more collab videos and fame leechers.
  • TGWTG: Collabs and Circlejerks: The Website.
  • League Of Legends: E-penis is the whole and only point of playing this shit game for more than 2 hours in your lifetime.

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