ED5

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Happy Birthday!


Ed5 brawl.jpg












That's right, kids! On Thursday, December 10th, your favorite wiki turned FIVE!

Let's take a moment to look back in anger at all ED's had to offer the world.
Then we'll sing a birthday song, enjoy some delicious caek, and watch as ED opens its presents.
EdsFifth.jpg
I'm THIS many.

Birth

Encyclopedia Dramatica was conceived December 8-10th 2004 while girlvinyl was impatiently awaiting the delivery of her new ibook. ghettofinger and girlvinyl were outraged and amused at the ill-treatment of internet celebrity jameth by the moderators and nerds at wikipedia.

Girlvinyl decided it was time to present an alternative to the fascist hold they had over information on the internets. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal. Creation of the project was swift and is under constant development. December 10th marked the inaugural install and first operational night of Encyclopedia Dramatica. The world hasn't been the same since. Millions have now learned just how serious business the internet is.

Timeline

2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009

Previous Year | Next Year

Timeline of Events
2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009
An accurate summary of 2004

A shit years filled with drama and AIDS. Ostensibly preceded by 2003 and succeeded by the devilish 2005.

Fun Facts About 2004

The nipple that launched 1000 FCC complaints.
Fumbling more than the election.

You don't know what a mediacrat is?

Then you don't know shit about 2004. Get on it.

See also

  • ED5


Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2003
2004 Succeeded by
2005


Katrina.jpg

Old, outdated crap. 2005 is obsolete but will be present forever unless a Time Machine.

According to NBC, Gwen Stefani's Holla Back Girl is the number one song of 2005, making 2005 the Year of Shit Music, again. W continues second reign over Murrika after votes were baleeted, thus proving niggerdom was soon to come.

Hurricane Katrina pwns Nawlins.
SheezyArt bans adult art. FurAffinity goes online.

Everything you need to know about the year 2005


As mid-July 2005

Joseph Evers

   
 
Freedom of information for all eternity.
 

 
 

—Joseph Evers, Gentleman & scholar

Stumbling out of the desert after a month-long ayahuasca binge, and having discovered the ancient secret of health, wealth, and self, he set his sights to ED - bringing the much-needed loyalty to lulz that has sustained ED through these six long years. Oh, and deep pockets.

See Also


Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2004
2005 Succeeded by
2006


TheInternetHistory.gif
ED5

is part of a series on

The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfqUzrZYd2Q One of the oldest operating systems on Earth.

Already, there have been reports of bugs and glitches in the system. Microsoft is currently working on a patch for 2006 and is expected to come out January 1, 2007.

Designated the International Asperger's Year (seriously) commemorating the 100th anniversary of the birth of Dr. Hans Asperger, discoverer of Asperger's Syndrome.

2006 was a good year for drama. Democrats won the House and the Senate, only to see their one seat majority die of a heart attack before the power kicked in yo. Loose Change creators released another batshit video, and all while the machine of IRL worked, drama was occurring all throughout the internets, which we now know are a series of tubes.

The most important thing to remember before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.

Youtube-favicon.png Sheneequa's look back on '06

Dramas and Events of 2006

January

  • Bantownians claim to hijack more than 900,000 LiveJournal accounts.
Well, more than 9000, at least
  • The "OH SHIT WE'RE SCREWED!" Era comes to an end.
Idiots.
He "went crazy" a month later
No wannarexics!
You can guess who won

February

He's down with the clowns. In hell.
But nobody cares enough to check
Oh, no wait, nevermind
You've never heard of them

March

Supposedly pissed off by Jacknstock, Banaan and Bastardman delete a slew of articles before leaving.
Everyone barfs
A great shock site lost
LOL MySpace

April

Rest in peace.
A girl calling herself the lesbian lover of Harry Potter's Emma Watson causes plenty of lulz on ED.
13 year old boy gets his iPod stolen, shoots self in head. Also his friends can't spell; reportedly, by committing suicide he became an hero.

May

LJ mommies goes batshit when LJ Abuse tell them they cannot have breastfeeding default icons.

June

Mu be had
ED makes plenty of weeaboo roleplaying fuckwits cry with just one article.
The guy who fucked Mediacrat and lived to tell about it parties too hard and dies in the bay area.
First recorded use of substituting PowerWords for Christopher Walken
An excellent holiday indeed
Jacknstock blocks Girlvinyl's husband Crayolacrime over a Warcraft edit. Gets raped up the ass.
A few days after Jacknstock is blocked, a vandal pagemoves hundreds of pages. All 3000 pages of ED were set to be page-move protected when Krade finds out how to fix it with one button.
Oh yeah, that's how I like it
The founder of Purple PJs decides to go batshit crazy.
Pissing off camwhores who missed their old requests of 'pls stik ur finger in ur azz' as hundreds of ytmnders ask them to put a shoe on their head.
ED's trademark rainbow blinkies are used to make fun of Jacknstock for being fired. First ever on User:Jacknstock.

July

Only took 4 more months to break the second 100K.
OMFG DO NOT INSULT MY DOLLFIES
Created by Sheneequa with MS Paint.
ED IRC invented to coordinate lulz. Get on irc fgt invented as catchphrase.
A bunch of asspie 13 year olds go vandal-crazy when they see that ED joked about the Beatles!
Tells it like it is!
MONGO, a Wikipedia sysop, goes ballistic when a screencap of ED's main page is uploaded to TOW, and repeatedly vandalises ED. We lose our article on TOW as a result. LOL
ED writes and hosts the internet's only non-pdf version telling of the P-p-p-powerbook tale.
Tawnee hates Erectile Dysfunction.
She's in ur jernal, suin ur friendz. Tawneelynne provides many n00dz and lulz for the whole LJ community.
Hundreds of /b/tards, and one shitty socializing site collide
Zany antics ensue when Hezbollah trolls Israel.
"I know! I shall steal from ED and Uncyclopedia to make my own kick-ass site!!!"

August

A great schism over loli. In the end, nothing happened
Culturalbaggage sees his three line article and legally threatens ED. Tfo then expands his article to what it is now and culturalbaggage quits before he gets any further behind.
Open wide!
The self-proclaimed king of trolls fails horribly.
THIS PICTURE IS A PARODY OKAY?
Living up to the name Wikipedo
Tfo and Nets troll their own kind all over LiveJournal.
Fucked some dogs; reported to have enjoyed it.
So many lulz... so little time. ED tips our collective titfer to the extra creepy, wannabe tranny pedo schoolteacher who 'came out' in style in 2006: to admitting guilt in the 1996 murder-rape of a 6-year-old "beauty queen" that he didn't do. Why? Pretty much for the lulz. His journey including a l337 ride home from Bangkok on the Party Van jet.

September

Nothing gets better than the raping of a paraplegic fox-child
Artistic Autistic furry gets pissed off about his ED article, documenting the Duke's daring exploits. Lulz ensue.
New stalking feature had students up in arms. Nowadays, everybody uses it.
Proof that he is guilty
Trolled wife to death
Lonelygirl15 exposed as fraud. Gets even more subscribers than before.
On Sept 29, some Dramacrats got together.
Almost raped for being a cocktease
The embarrassment of 200 men
"fuck the long message. want the cock or no, hon?" This event brought ED's pagerank up to 1200 and got mentioned on countless blogs, newspapers, and even MSNBC.
Remember bike safety, kids!
Girlvinyl makes a false site with a petition to shut down Encyclopedia Dramatica. Many furries and wikipedophiles fall for it.
CRIKEY! A stingray!
The internet is a series of tubes.
Beastiality is not wrong, because they're in love!

October

So I heard you have a cast fetish
A troll of epic proportions including lawlsuits from two countries and - so far - three of his movie's "victims".
A very talented artist in the top 10% of DeviantART
Amazing, but lonely, biker/prophet looking for some poon
Psychic-doom's leader has such a lovable mug.
Many a good person was sent to internet jail for trolling this lad
Protracted edit-war with a shitty musician.
My, we're getting big
Proving that sometimes you just can't make this shit up.
Anonymous gets busted for threatening football.
Gramming the one-eyed snake with little boys
Full of nothing but Microsoft puppets, trolls, and horny teens
Haukkojen pesänä tunnettu kaupunki.
Pussyhawks (suomeksi Pilluhaukat) on tamperelainen järjestö. Järjestön jäsenet ovat tunnistettavissa erityisen kireiden vaatteiden käytöstä ja vulgaarista kielenkäytöstään.
Australians rape retarded girl, record it, publish it, get arrested; they have criminal blood, after all
How does one wage an internet war, with only one side knowing of it? These delightful young men know how!
ED's counterpart to btard

November

The watering hole of Washington, D.C.'s basement dwelling ravers
McDonald's did not want her bears because she was ugly.
Though aborted at birth, infantile non-organization delivers the lulz
Gay weirdo with a dragon fetish threatens assault, murder, e-lawsuits, FBI investigations, delivers on nothing, retreats, eats free pizza.
Juggalos love us
Gay attention whore that all the girls fap over
"He's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger, throw him out!"
Simply warns audience about presence of niggers and is unfairly reprimanded by the old media ogliarchy
I don't know what's going on in this article either.
Conservative Evangelist turns out to be raging crystal queen
Announces he's signed a mega-buck deal with Rupert Murdoch's Random House Books for a book about the murder of his wife and her lover entitled "If I Did It; Here's How It Happened."
Once they were friends, now they just spend time spreading AIDS, getting abortions, and being a camwhore
Boy tries to pick up a chick on an IRC channel. He's not allowed on the computer anymore.

December

Pedobait gets trolled off of YouTube and MySpace
Incredible faggotry that denies any and all summary
Michael J. Fox will never be thought of as a decent human being. Because of Parkinson's.
MONGO quits Wikipedia forever. Or at least until next week.
Trolls harness THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION
White supremacist podcaster gets ruined
Destroys YouTube from the ground up.
Just to ruin all the other 2006 year-end round-ups. And as a reminder that when the USA friends you, it has its fingers crossed behind its back.


See also

  • ED5


Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2005
2006 Succeeded by
2007


TheInternetHistory.gif
ED5

is part of a series on

The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

1 image summary

2007, Microsoft's patch for the faulty 2006, has been proven to be just as buggy as the last year.

Some end users were tazed. Some gained sexual attractions Ebon Lupus, children, and even cartoon mice. Some flew off the handle and killed themselves. Many even died from bullet related injuries.

Yes, this glitchy release has caused vans to explode off of their frames, monolithic meeting places to disappear, and all the beautiful women either died or were given worse fates.

Leading scientists have traced these errors to an optional feature known to cause unpleasant side effects.

2007 has proved itself to be as terrible as the old 06 model. Luckily, we are quite certain that life will be improved drastically as soon as 2008 comes out, hopefully in time for Christmas.

Musical Version

2007 An EDiot's Look Back - Boycott Warner Bros. Edition

Warner Music Group Version

A list of teh events of 2007:

January

Possibly the least popular book in the successful children's series.
DMCA Sent. Article taken down. Committed Perjury. Fails at frivolous litigation; article rises from the dead like some
kinda...OMGZ!!!...it's Jesus...get in the car!!!
Got raped a bunch and drew some shitty shit.
Hey it's preteens threatening suicide on the internet I wonder if they actually did it??
Who fucking cares really?
He also punched some kid using google image search.
Before you jump on them, remember that the CNN Fact Checker is a small dog.
lol, knuffy.
Lulz ensued.
You're the dog now, man!
Concerning Meth and Girlvinyl
President Demeter starts to wear a mask as he tries to escape from renetto's debt collectors

February

It was Renzo, lol.
Tears carve tracks down cheeto-dust encrusted faces.
Internet shits itself with joy.
She wanted to be with her son. In the ground.
  • Audreynoland
I'm not a crazy, that's what's so insane about this. Also my family hates me.
The name may have been a hint.
Drama over a wiki full of faggy theories about the show where nothing happens. Primarily Wattage involved.
It sure is as sweet as the dickens.
Defectors include Violetkitty411, Argent009 and CircaRigel. Renetto calls them all traitors.
Is nominated for many academy awards, including Best Use of Clothing Descriptions, and Best Rape of Copyrighted Character.
Not an actual realm, just some fag.
Don't help me, I'm not worth it ._.
Because bringing that site down is super hard.
CircaRigel gets pwned. Irish282 gets pwned later.

March

Ray Jones, one of the lulziest articles you'll see
EPIC.WIN. that.is.all.
Andrea Robinette Hostage Drama
Batteries Included.
claims not to be retarded, but rather resmarted.
  • Essjay is exposed as a fraud.
People lying about their qualifications on Wikipedia? Who would have thought!?
This was a fruitful use of time and effort.
THE END TIMES ARE NEAR.
She can't go outside guys because of a bad photoshop on some slap-fight of a blog. We need a code of conduct. To not blog ever again.
  • Kenneth Eng writes a racist column about niggers, is pwnt by everyone.
By logic dragons sho- DRAGONS DRAGONS.
  • Max day occurs for the first time.
Weev and drugs- The Winning Combination
Bloggers, heh.
I don't know how posting pictures of you blowing your dog on the internet could backfire, but it did.
In our hearts, don't we all just want to bang a tiny anthropomorphic mouse?
You're a fucking racist if you laugh at this.
Suicide by arrows, death in style. Also furfag drama.

April

Chocolate Rain society comes crashing through your veins
.
  • Ben Vodden
Billy No Mates becomes an hero. The little dickhead.
Some stay dry and others kill the meme. Tay Zonday left trying to recapture his glory days after briefly being King of the Internet.
Buddy meme of Virginia Tech after a nigra decides he can take down a major website after taking a college course.
Who knew morbid obesity could be so hot?
Faggoty freeloading furry,
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL BUDDY YOU CAN BANK ON THAT!
He crossed the line when he drew mudkip like that.
Even Family Gay gets in on it.
Oh dear lawd plagarism on the internet!]
High Score in pwnage

May

ED died this month, so pretty much the only thing worthwhile was watching pigslop get ruined.
Disgusting perverts think they have power and rights on the internet. PROTIP: They don't.
the least funny month in an otherwise hilarious year
The cinematic event of the century.
THE DEATH OF PIGSLOP WAS AN INSIDE JOB

June

Tyler Dumstorf bags a couple
  • 7chan is shut down for a very long time (read: forever) due to party van.
The internet may never recover from this terrible loss.
Just click the fucking link you don't need a summary.
Guys stop saying that he didn't do roids nobody in wrestling does roids.
If only it could be lost again.
Your fate.
:D
Spoilers: He's an idiot.
My heart goes out to the family, and I hope the body is found soon. Also the parents did it.
Republicans are never gay ever. They are family men with good Christian values. So shut up, you fucking communist.
  • Shadowfox118
NEUGH BLUEHG GHUG SONIC AND FURRIES AND PEOPLE WITH NO SOCIAL LIVES IT'S ALL SHIT JUST SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Ultimadum Deceleration. Furries rally around this illiterate spokesman.
Prodigous pie consumption. The additional drama should be pretty much implied by now.
Loud fatass with a shitty beard and hair on the internet does not like religion. Nobody saw this coming.
We all are mistakes, Tyler was just a big and worse one.

July

They're hackers on steroids, almost like an internet hate machine...
FACEPAWS
Casts a hex on Encyclopedia Dramatica
Tipped off by Alex Wuori, depicted Anonymous as a gang of domestic terrorists on a news broadcast, spawning countless new memes.
Kan speel gud.
Bigger. Longer. 9001% moar drama
Last book comes out, spoiled for everyone weeks in advance.
Inflation furry art. Nuff said.
Furries producing something vaguely funny, clearly we have entered the twilight zone.
Exercises all her clothes off as the internet watches.
  • Revmischa
Fucks a fatty.
BARBARIC!!!
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
BAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Gets taken down for hosting 7chan's /b/ section with rumored child porn.
Her defense of the emo movement becomes one of the biggest lulz storms.

August

Oh come on everyone on the internets lol'd at this one.
2007's Funnelgirl
Tranny sends DMCA, DMCA challenged, lulz restored.
Hillbilly ghostbuster turns out to be internet tough guy.
Gets shut down
When he feels like masturbating it all goes out the window.
The mega-weeaboo gets e-raped.
Gets pwned by ED..again
Insane pedo cloud fangirl.
NBC sends a bimbo cunt undercover to DEFCON 2007, and winds up being a TOTAL FAIL!
Bridge collapse phobia sweeps America! 13 people die nevar 4get this horrible tragedy.
Failed suicide attempt.
is crazy.
Defies stereotypes and institutional racism and becomes a creepy and awkward as her white peers.
A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY TO SEE A MARCHING BAND

September

KCFireplug on Colbert Report
Inadvertently launches career of Chris Crocker, an attention-whore trap.
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW
For once cries of gay rape in the locker room turn out to be true. Hahaha, fags.
Turns out some fat guy is a dick in relationships. The twist? He's gay.
Arguably the high point of the event was when ajt relayed Mori's message of "It's zippocat bitches" to the people of lulzcon.
  • Trey Burba threatens to blow up school on September 11th.
Pictures of bomb accompanied by identifying EXIF data. Way to go hoss.
Chick from High School Homosexual appears naked in pics. Internet wanks.

October

[email protected] says: andsleep together every night
serious says: if we sleep that is ;)
[email protected] says: true
[email protected] says: cause we would have sex every night
  • Asa Coon enters a school and shoots 4 people
No one died so he became An Hero. Wai 2 Go!
Butthurt teenage emo bitch thinks she is hotter and thinner than she is.
4chan steps out for soup. Comes back. Like Jesus but with more CP.
Pedophilia, eh?
Autism once again succeeds in providing us with lulz.
Furries possibly used because Popular Hackers on Steroids have so much furry porn on their sites.
BUMPER PEDO CROP THIS MONTH
  • Dumbledore's gay
Dumb Christian parents now over 50% more concerned.
Wants you in the Ernest Peters army!
Furry drama who fucking cares fuck them.
Causes some stupid fucking shit.
Fuck these fucking tiny bitch-ass faggots in their goddamn shitting asses. FUCK. haha i am so witty get it they dont like cussing.
The year's greatest invention. Need to rub one out at work but can't alt tab fast enough? This one's for you!
If you are going to commit hella crimes at least learn to use photoshop you kiddy-fiddling fuck.
Fortunately does not become Yiri Schiavo.

November

Megan Meier's parents daydreaming about bulls and rabbits.
Surprisingly there are fat single mothers on the internet who draw bad porn and have easily hurt feelings.
Squeak Squeak Yiff!
Gamestop raid.
Alternate Title: "How Gaiafags Learned to Troll"
Evel Knievel, Hawthorne Heights, Sean Taylor, Quiet Riot.
It's nevar lupus. Except that one time.
Fired from Gamespot for giving a bad review to a shitty game, internets come together to mourn their loss. NEVER FORGET 8.8
Drug explodes all over old media after a sheriff's department ripped off our article.
was quite rude.
Story breaks. Josh Evans a Joseph Evers pseudonym? Also, the world is reminded once more that bulling is rabbit.
dies, OldDirtyBtard emos :(
The Finnisher ends up with a better kill ratio than The Blzn Azn.
You must be faggin if yo pants be saggin'.
OH GOD KNITTING ;____________;

December

Dr4g0nK1d has suffered 456 viruses because of you fucking morons, over the past 5 years.
Was hacked for the very lulz of it, and /b/tards flocked to every other chan for safe haven. Anonymous banded together to expose the h1j4x0rs if only so they could finally say: "gbt4chanfgt!"
Angry /b/tard sticks it to the black man by stealing a bust of Martin Luthor King from the library.
ED's Benevolent Dictator for Life, ajt, gives EDiots their very own imageboard. You know you rimestoppers.
Former Paki Prime Minister that was assassinated last thursday (literally).
  • Dr4g0nK1d
Basically a video on basically rants.
celebrates its third birthday. Whoulda thunk TOW would come in useful for anything.
'The "financial dominatrix" 'top' becomes a a 'bottom' after Anonymous gives her 40 lashes...and then some.
Google changes motto from "Don't be evil" to "Don't be lulzy".
FUCK YOU IM A LYCAN
Britney's pure, virginal, self-righteous teen sister has an immaculate conception.
Aussie /b/tard gets v& for "creating false beliefs". Whatchoo talkin bout Willis?
Like ashi_moto's omghai2furries journal when it got ripped off by some furry saying omghai2trolls, but somehow even more fail.
Keywords: Female. Furry. Liar.
Makes several Ted Haggard fanbois assume the missionary position.
"PS. HE DIDN'T EAT THAT FUCKIN SANDWICH OR THE TOIELET THING EITHER!"
Claims victory over ED and /b/, subsequently b& from teh jewtubes.lol.
Chin-chan's albino twin? Massive amounts of usi detected Captain! Græt Justice was served.
In Soviet Russia, LiveJournal updates you!
Eats Carlos Sousa Jr to death for Christmas.

See also

  • ED5


Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2006
2007 Succeeded by
2008


TheInternetHistory.gif
ED5

is part of a series on

The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

MIL10.jpg Tmil1108.jpg TMIL Collage July 08.jpg TMIL1208.jpg TMIL0808.jpg MIL0909.jpg


Most everyone would rather forget 2008 altogether and ED is no exception. Between all the unfunny and shit hitting the fan IRL, however, were plenty of lulz, drama and Internets to keep the snugglenet grinning like a batshit crazy Joker. There are 8,000,000 stories in the virtual city; these are just some of them.

First dong of 2008.

Expected events

Dramas and Events of 2008

Mrfetch declares war on Anon.

January

BRB nap.
Yet another fatass YouTube tranny camwhore gets acquainted with the Anon and ED.
brb Lions...
For President '08.
Anonymous declares war on the "Church" of Scientology after they try fucking with Original Content on YouTube.
Anonymous forces turn to a different front.
That lolcow with the fucked up grill.

February

Error creating thumbnail: Invalid thumbnail parameters
Anonymous surfaces from the basement for a day of IRL global meme spouting and epic win. So much WIN in fact, it could only go downhill from such lofty heights. Also, holy shit...femanons are teh hawt!!!
She never quite succeeded in tellin' the motherfuckas off.
4chan adds a bunch of new boards which are soon overrun by skiddies seeking help for all manner of neuroses and sensitive moralfags from LJ and digg to heal them.

March

Moar WIN in the war on the scifaggotry marred only by the loss of Mudkips The Cat when Scifags learn2fight back.
Millions of fanboys BAWWWW when Krystal, Geno, Ridley, Megaman, Ashley, and Mudkip are not included in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but R.O.B. and 2 Fox clones are. Regardless, tourneyfags still manage to ruin it.
Anonymous - as it turns out - are from a distant galaxy and sends an armada of memeships under the command of the Deathstar Longcat to ræp Scientology.
Sings for Anon.
Causes massive butthurt in the LJ community, but gave them plenty to whine about on LJ.
Becomes S& hero.
Shows the world her lack of judgment.
Shows everyone his love for latex.
Still trying to get some.
Video game developers and fans acting retarded and threatening each other.
The troll loses his TOW-vandlism virginity and so an hero was born.

April

Lioncash08.jpg
The beginning of the end for Project Chanology, and the beginning of the beginning for those damned moralfags. What happened? One word: hugraids. Hugraids?!!?! Are you fucking kidding me?
April 20th.
RAWR
At the 2008 summer Olympics, the only event worth watching happened before the Beijing games officially started.

May

When you die you can only hope for this much respect.
  • ED becomes 'notable' and gets a TOW article.
Much to their chagrin.
Chanology gets all SFB trying to raise awareness about Scientology's brutal "Fair Game" policy. Lost on the freshly minted "moralfags" was the irony that Anonymous does exactly the same shit when attacked. And so began the schism that turned the *chans against their former comrades in arms.
It's a hit!
Gets the respectful funeral she deserves.
Shows the world his unique flexibility.
Overhyped shitty MMORPG.
HAGGER???????????????????
An Ozfag called Aush0k redeems himself for a month worth of DDoS faggotry by sending Kirt the gift of v&, all the way from Australia.
Crystal Shinkle, a poverty stricken girl, uploads a video on Youtube pleading for justice (she was 'raped')

June

Anon attempts to right the sinking ship that is Chanology by taking to the streets dressed as pirates. At this point it becomes impossible to tell who's the moar retarded: Sea Org or Chanology.
What happens when you put a bunch of trolls, Anons, EDiots, /b/tards and goons into the same room and leave the door open for NORPs? Why, lulz, drama and hueg amounts of faggotry, USI, flaming and butthurt, of course! Social networking was never so hilarious.
Gives a dose of chemo to /b/. butthurt to m00t and his modfags.
Moot trolls the cancer IRL.
DF01 gets hacked when she unwittingly give up her password for fanart. Hacker posts shock picks and gets the account banned. Unfortunately, DisneyFan01 is back in a matter of hours.

July

Fails to understand lulz.
tl;dr? Once again, the toilet that is IRC backs up and overflows.
Y SO SERIOUS?
A star is born. What can you say but: Shamwow!!!

August

Lolympicsmatos1.jpg
Site's closed soulja boy.jpg
Returns with a new saga of videos.
China won the medal count due to its totally ethical system of removing promising child athletes from their families and forcing them to train.
Around the 24th of August 2008, some Azn dude called Ko phished Soulja Boy's Myspace, YouTubes and emails, and posted scat porn for all of Soulja Boy's fans to see.
Wikipedia's self-proclaimed "Anti-ED Poster Child" and faggot boy-king Sceptre receives the banhammer for abusive sock puppetry. What goes around comes around.
The story of quite possibly the greatest comeback, trolling, mindfuck or practical joke in the entire history of the internets.
With ED on the verge of becoming an Terri Schiavo, a stranger from a strange land appears on the horizon bearing many jew golds. ED is fucking saved and TOW goes BAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW.
Mr.Putin couldn't wait for the next Red Alert, so he decided to make his own game. Georgian president tried out the demo, but found out it was too hard for him. Armchair generals around the world rejoiced.

September

LHC God.jpg
Oprah9000animated.gif
Lfgmeth.JPG
Releases; turns out it was shit. Whoda thunkit?
The admin, LFG, admits to his meth use and his new JesusOwns forum.
Joshua Nimm tries to recreate a suicide from Halo and dies for the lulz.
Wins ED's annual "Kettle Is A Nigger" award for internal drama and lulz.
CERN attempts to divide by zero.
Sarah Palin's email is hacked.
Oprah says "Over 9,000 penises".

October

Ojpalm.jpg
IT'S A TARP!
  • OJ Guilty
Simpson finally goes down in flames on the tenth anniversary of his acquittal.
Anon pwns MTV in epic fashion, ballot-stuffing Rick Astley onto the list of nominees in the Best Act EVAR category to face-off with a trap named Bill. Guess who won?
ED's glorious sponsors release an expansion pack to their chan-based RPG.
Live-at-home trap in training attempts to persuade Anonymous into sending him unmarked estrogen.

November

Icy Dead People.jpg
The Frozen Prince of Barrie.
There is still lulz left in Chanology.
An steroidal hero bites the dust, streaming live (and FREE) on justin.tv. Hundreds watch in horror ambivalence.
You think you are hardcore? HELL NO! THIS bitch is hardcore.
Batshit insane ex-Scilon performs hari kari by 'cop' whilst trolling Scientology.
The only man left standing after what seemed like a decade in the Octagon invents a new meme - "There is only one president at a time" - and beats it into tired old meme status in less than two months.
One of DA's resident lolcows, furry, pedo and major Jesus fanboy, DBoyWheeler decides to leave dA FOREVA due to butthurt and inability to accept constructive criticism on his shitty art. BAWWW!!
The ugliest mother fucker ever
Crazy tranny gets butthurt over her article and threatens to run for the "ED administration election"

December

President Elect Obama facepalms at your Blaggotry.
Another camwhore learns that if you wish to remain anonymous on the internet, you shouldn't volunteer information to /b/.
Crooks? In my Chicago politics? It's moar likely than you think.
Anonymous declares WOAR!!! on the real asshole of the Internets. Nothing of value was lost and nothing of value came back a couple of days whilst /b/ came to a grinding halt after a blitz of spam chemo from RAIDCHAN.
Grateful Iraqis didn't quite welcome the U.S. as "liberators" bearing "flowers and kisses" in 2003 when W got all up in they bidness as predicted but moar than made up for it, bidding a fond farewell to Dubya as a "dog" with a shower of local insults and size 10 shoes.
An obese unemployed man is having a mid-life crisis of epic proportions for all the internet to see when he becomes a pre-op transsexual goth lesbian juggalo (not joking).
Wikipedia fails to even get runner-up in its own category. Merry fucking Christmas, Jimbo.
A group of friends show you how to make ground beef in the wilderness using some simple tools you probably have lying around your garage.
Not to be outdone by a slut with an iPod, an exhibitionist decides to film himself doing a stretching session with the help of a glass jar. Hilarity ensues when you see Aunt Flow pay him a visit.
You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is gunning you down.
One of the Jena Six tried to become an hero after getting arrested for normal black behavior, i.e. shoplifting. He failed.


A Year In Review

See also

  • ED5


Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2007
2008 Succeeded by
2009


TheInternetHistory.gif
ED5

is part of a series on

The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

YEAH

2009 has been yet another banner year that has blessed us with some of the more notable internet happenings that you have come to expect from this wonderful medium that we choose to exploit and use. The usual gang of internet nerds, retards, and angry mobsters have outdone themselves once again and have made 2009 an unexpectedly grand year in lulz. Folks like crusader cat have offered us a chance to brighten our days with laughter, while memes such as Zalgo have given us a pause where we might reflect upon the fact that this internet thing is quite silly, and finally, the Dan Lirette story taught us that babies only die when you kick them in the head.

But that's not all — 2009 showed us the softer side of the internet as well. Heartwarming tales such as Kenny Glenn, Cheyenne Cherry, Camille Marino, DracoGuard, and Esachasa displayed mankind's ever-open heart, sympathy, and his ability to show compassion for his fellow animals.

And that's not all! Encyclopedia Dramatica also showcased several misfortunes that senselessly deprived us of our beloved entertainers. Massive buttgrief and sorrow was expended upon the deaths of Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Patrick Swayze, and Ted Kennedy.

There have been some good irl trolls as well, the biggest being Tony48219, but let's not forget the most spectacular troll of all: the fact that Encyclopedia Dramatica turned 5 this year despite all of its detractors, skeptics, haters, and doubters. During the festivities P-p-p-powerbook! won the contest for best article ever, upsetting Chris-chan. And on top of all of this internet hoopla, ED got its own forum, which would make it a tradition to destroy itself once a week.

Once again, the most important thing to know before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in the state of Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.

Drama and events from 2009

Video

January

The face that launched 1,000,000 shit brix.
Man covers himself in pubes of others. TAKE THAT, SCIENTOLOGY!
  • Boxxy takes over the internets.
All it took was a 16-year old girl to pull apart the fine fabric of insanity that is /b/.
I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO GOD DAMN FUNNY
And ur butt.
Psychiatrists immediately blamed
A very extreme video
Good night, sweet meme.
Lol 114-1 vote
  • The Dangerous Pictures Act comes into force on the 26th of this month, bricks are shat by many Britfags
Especially those with Goatse as their Windows backdrop.

February

Nevar Fucking Forget
Cross-dressing, animal torturing, mentally unbalanced, rageaholic faggot who will never forget your slander and will have his/her revenge.
  • ED:Upgrade 2009
Encyclopedia Dramatica was read only for 24ish hours as we went from web 1.0 to 2.5. ED is slow is now old meme.
Brits rejoice with plentiful amounts of sodomy.
When it came to 4chan's attention that some loser dipshit was abusing a cat, it took the internet superheroes less than 24 hours for to identify, locate and dispatch the Party Van.
  • Octomom makes a website begging for moeny.
Oh, and we found out that she was unemployed, uneducated, and wanted to look like Angelina Jolie.
February started with a bang of lulz when a Comcast employee in the Phoenix area decided the game needed to be livened up a bit, with cock.
Gamerfags given the chance to go outside; too bad they all just played some other mmo.
What have we learned here? Chimps are not people too. They are psychopathic killing machines that will eat your face if you change your hairstyle.
You'll be saying lol every time.
  • Xzibit gets sick of being a meme
Throws a fit on twitter.

March

Sup dawg we heard you like to whine like a bitch.
PRETTY TOUGH FOR SOMEONE NAMED INTERNET HATE MACHINE
/b/'s newest camwhore. Instead of posting tits, this one posts eggs.
Encyclopedia Dramatica, in a moment of insanity, re-opened the "kiddie pool" on the IRC server...lulz ensued.
A terribly embarrassing commercial for an anime convention turns into annoying internet sensation.
Her most notable act.
Eat your heart out, Chris Hansen; this guy not only hunts pedophiles, he does something about it.
Men's prison. Not little girl's prison.
2004: A girl gets tricked into stripping nude and giving an old guy a BJ in a McDonald's back room, caught on security camera. The man is eventually arrested and sued for the event. 2009: Uncensored video footage of said event leaks on to 4chan. The internet collectively orgasms.
Many Norton product users have been discovering a file called Norton_PIFTS 3-9-2009 19h29m27s.txt sitting in their computer's C:\temp folder.
A bat hitches a ride on the Discovery, quits irl.
I'm starting to accept my babby did do some bad things, I am very sorry for his actions, it wasn't the first time he did this.
300 pt. 2 in internet popularity.

April

Tony48219 becomes the first YouTube an hero
He is here to preach the word of God, promote the music of My Chemical Romance, and let you know that HE IS NOT GAY!!!11!11!1
Nevar forget.
Has a fellatable neck.
HOLY SHIT EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE!!!1
Do you like beards? Do you want to throw your hot dog down a hallway? Of course you do. Just make sure you have plenty of cash.
Apparently, retards have feelings, and every time you use the word "retard", you make them feel sad inside and... well... retarded.
Proving, once again, the absolute power of /b/ when they have their panties in a knot, someone finally decided to wage war against annoying telemarketers.
Possible winner of the Golden iPod award.
RIP internet's first namecat.
Z͉̙̊͠A͇͈̳̹̤͊̅̐ͤ̎͋̚͘L͂̀̚G̺͎̮̟̽̒͗ͫ̿̌O̪͔͇̜̩͎̪͗ͥ̓́̀ͥ ̦̲̫̘̊̒̿̃i̦̼̻ͣͥ̕s̤͚̺̻̻̮̭̆ ͤ̂҉͚̭̪̘̣͍̙c̴͙̃̐ͣͨ̈́ô͍͈̜̣̺̎̃͌́ͅͅm͈̭͔̦̮̩͇̓̒̅̒̽͞iͦ̀n̲͈̝̹̺͕ͮğͯ͂ͫ ̫̭ͩ͠t̲̻̳̗͑o͆͑͌̿̔ ͟r͍̦͎̳͇͈̱̆̔ͦ̊ͭ͗̌u̼͒ͫ́̾̐ͨ͠i̥̩͙̖ͣͫ̂̄͛͌͘ṉ̬̀̌ͤͥ̓̍̑͜ ̥̥̠̦͇̹ͨ͛ͨ͗y͕̝̫͓̭͈͒ͨ̅͛̔ͅo̱̝̟̼̺̻ͨͨ͗̌͝u̙̜ͬͪr͙̗̪̟͔̞̭͒ ͇͕̬̝̃̓͒̏̽͘ͅͅt̨̹̟͍̫e̫̲̯̒ẍ̪͖̑́̓̏t̺̹ͪͯ̉ͮ̎s͌ͬ̓̃ ̟ͯͨ̃̀ͬ̚̚̕a̟̞͚̮̻ͮ̿́̋̅̂̚͢n͉̈́d͎͉́̇ͯ̊ͣ͗ ̡̝̘̯͙͚͍̔͊̈̍ͨb̹̱͈̦͓̲͒ͩͤ̆ͭͯ̆l̔a̅ͣ͝cͣ̄ͭk̠̞ę̝̖̫̦̗͛́͂̉ṋ̥̓̀ ̗̱͎͕̉̅̂̀ͩ͒ͫu͙͖̱͚ͥ̉̓̓́́p̠̖̜̺̳͓̄ ̗͈̩̪̲͂̽͌͐͒͜y͚ͫͨ͗ͤo͚̜uͨ҉̻͉̫͉̬͚̯r̭̩̫͉̘ͪ̈́̃̀̋̈́́̚ ͮͤ͌̿ͬ̊̕p͈̥̰̖͒̍̊̉i̷̐̍͊̈̀̾́c̢͉̣͈͎̤s̳̤̱̲̜͍̍ͮͥ̚͡.̴͎̻͎̮͔́
  • ED is mentioned in a leaked government document "2009 Virginia Terrorism Threat Assessment" (on Slashdot)

May

Oh god put that away
And getting second on a top rated reality show
goes
Casualfags win
And If you EVER criticize anything on his profile, he will throw a shit fit and threaten to kill and rape you.
A mass upload of porn onto YouTube with tags such as MarbleCake, Jonas Brothers, and Hannah Montana. YouTube admins got really pissed off, lulz were had on a scale that surpassed 9,000, and Rules 1 and 2 were broken on several occasions by trolls and newfags, several of which were interviewed by the BBC.
The goons at Something Awful uncover a story rife with deceit, hypocrisy, and illicit affairs: that of Myah Walker, Dan Lirette, and their braindead lovechild.
  • Cracked article cites and quotes multiple ED articles as part of a review of of five wikis other than TOW. link
Lol, Metapedia

June

No, no it's not
Now he can reenact Thriller!
Kazantzakis with an excellent piece of eJournalism
Like City-glitter 2.0, but this time trolling Fundies instead of Animal Rights fags.
back after the whole Vanguard drama-fest.
Gets ruined by anonymous
gets exposed as a dogfucker.
But he would later pop up on EDF and claim he learned better.
2009 showing a trend of gamers becoming more and more annoying
The grim reaper showed up and he's pissed.
But The Perfect Drug was fucking awesome dude.
Haters gonna hate
Now your irl friends can learn about ED stuff without being grossed out.

July

It's just a fun thing, really
Baww
Millions had to use normal porn sites.
Looks forward to talking about shits
wtf?
Another success story!
Botched contest makes for one of the best pages on ED.
Thousands of nerds cry
I AM NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING

August

Oh wow
Fritzl 2.0
Be afraid.
Like, holy shit.
Hates cyberbullying
  • Ted Kennedy dies from brain cancer
thus continuing the family tradition of HNNNNNNGGGGG.

September

He loves bowlcuts so much even his fursuit has a bowlcut.
Too bad it's a boring grindfest, also released with Fallen Earth and Champions Online.
Decides ED is the number one obstacle on the path to animal rights.
Becomes top selling shirt in the lollershop, only really long lasting meme on EDF to date.
HAHAHA
Yo 2009, I'm real happy for you, but 2007 had some of the best lolcows of all time. OF ALL TIME!
Bobby Hill lol
  • Patrick Swayze also HNNNNNNGGGGGs from cancer.
I love 2009
Got a free ice cream cone as 1000th customer.
"Extreme faggotry is not allowed on ED, unless I approve of it of course. And by the way, sysops can't be banned ^__^ "

October

HAHAHA
Can you source this claim?
Blind EverQuest II player can't see game, sues SOE
Responds with "I did it for the lulz" as a motive
Half of America stops and stares at a silver balloon as they get fuckin' owned by a 6 year old troll
DMCAing parody images. Nice perjury dude.
Oh god, Conservatives are learning how to use youtube.
  • Evony, plagiarism now My Lord
Bruce Everiss sued in a country he's never been to.
It's weird how often pedos with articles on ED get jailed, isn't it?
  • Obama wins the Most useless Nobel Peace Prize for no fucking reason.
At least Al Gore had a god damn PowerPoint.
Quest to find the greatest article in the history of ED.
  • Rifqa Bary runs off to florida to escape the evil clutches of her Muslim dad
she's imagining everything
But he's such a good director!!
You'd hate God too if you looked like this

November

oic
Chans getting vanned for CP is always funny
BAI AERALIK!
WEEB!
Leaked to EQ2Flames - and a year's worth of his work shitcanned by other devs!
NUH-UH! ONLY PC'S GET VIRII
It's not prostituting if it's just oral!
The ghost of 12chan incurred again.
Arab massacres 13 soldiers. New high score on nightmare mode!
I guess
People care about baseball again, proving hate motivates.
Omg niggies are the best thing ever.
This man/woman/bunny is seriously fucked up.

December

Powerbook, staying classy.
  • ED turns 5.
We made it five years? What!
  • Amanda Knox gets sentenced to 26 years of lesbian prison sex on tape.
BEING A SLUT IS NOT A CRIME
Make fun of L Ron, get money.
CBS trolls millions
Suck it, CWC fanboys.
Surprisingly, it wasn't a cock.
HOT~
  • Silvio Berlusconi
Smack That
After Bill Clinton did it, it became kinda old meme
Eight months of animal abuse all wrapped up!

See also

  • ED5
Dramatic Years
Preceded by
2008
2009 Succeeded by
2010
Featured article December 31, 2009
Preceded by
Chanology Contest
ED5 Succeeded by
Food Not Bombs


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ED5

is part of a series on

The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

Baecktothefuture.jpg

Time Machine

Holy shit! Somebody archived the archives!

ED's in your tubes, killing your news

Hey, how's your news?

In it's five short years of lulzitude and trollery, ED has managed to attention whore itself into the clutches of old media moar than once. Good thing their arthritis keeps them slow. See our stalkers here.

Birthday Cards


Delicious caek

Happy Birthday To You!!!

Is that semen covering the cake? Looks like semen to me.
Aetan-cake.png

OM NOM NOM About missing Pics

Astrological Chart

Oh, heavens
  • Name: ED
  • December 10 2004
  • 12:00 PM Time Zone is PST
  • San Francisco, CA

Rising Sign is in 09 Degrees Pisces Very sensitive to your surroundings, other people's feelings become your feelings. Try to avoid negative people because your tendency to empathize with them will make you negative also. A dreamer, you like to escape to a world of your own creation. As such, you are known for the vividness of your imagination and should try to share your inner visions with others. Very self-sacrificial by nature, beware of others becoming overly dependent on you or vice versa.

Sun is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius. Very fun-loving, spirited and energetic, you have a huge reservoir of physical energy within you that needs to be released. As such, sitting at a keyboard shooping cocks for hours is very important to you. Quite gregarious, you enjoy being with other people, but you tend to avoid emotionally restrictive or intimate relationships. Constantly curious about the broader issues of life, you may at times be quite careless and sloppy about details -- you tend to leap to conclusions before all the facts are in. An avid reader, you are totally enthusiastic about any given subject should it interest you. You are known for being homophobic, racist, anti-semitic and in general, very positive!

Moon is in 01 Degrees Sagittarius. An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject - so you can properly ridicule it. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity.

Mercury is in 17 Degrees Sagittarius. Your mind is very curious and inquisitive, always seeking information on a wide variety of topics. The broader the subject matter (philosophy, science, religion, metaphysics), the more it will appeal to you. You prefer to deal with abstractions -- the small but important details associated with any subject tend to slip your grasp. You are known for being blunt, honest and truthful.

Venus is in 22 Degrees Scorpio. Your feelings about others are deep, powerful, intense and complex. When you like someone, you do so totally and obsessively - if you do not like someone, they do not exist. Your faithfulness and loyalty to your lover is unquestioned, indeed at times it is too much so -- you get so possessive that you almost smother your partner. At times, your feelings are kept deep within you and, because they are so complex and intense, they frighten you -- this is the way that you try to ignore them. But the more you try to do this, the more explosive things get when you eventually do express them.

Mars is in 19 Degrees Scorpio. Your likes and dislikes are strong and intense, never casual or superficial. You are known for your persistence and willful obsession. Once you have decided on a course of action, you are unstoppable. Your emotional actions tend to be extreme, although you try to keep them muted. And you tend to release your anger as sarcasm or irony. Beware of your tendency to hold grudges and to be vengeful. When you do fight, or release your internal tensions, you do so body and soul -- you become totally passionate and your outbursts are awesome to behold.

Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Libra. You are generally good at balancing opinions and judging issues, but you tend to be indecisive when it comes to making up your own mind. You are objective and quite concerned with fair play and justice. But, when it comes to yourself, you are so aware that whatever you do might upset the apple cart that you often choose to compromise rather than do anything that might make you lonely or vulnerable. Relationships are very important to you -- you learn about yourself and grow through observing yourself interacting with others. Your æsthetic tastes are refined, but expansive and expensive.

Uranus is in 03 Degrees Pisces. You, and most of your peers, are extremely idealistic and want to change society by completely reorienting its highest religious goals and aspirations. Just be careful to make sure that your new goal structures are properly grounded in reality so that they have a chance of being accepted by the majority.

You're Invited

Also we totally accept presents.
You wouldn't show up to a 5 year old's birthday without presents, would you?

Featured article December 8, 2009
Preceded by
Amanda Knox
ED5 Succeeded by
P-p-p-powerbook!


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ED5

is part of a series on

The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

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