Martin Ssempa

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"Uganda" redirects here. For tourism in Uganda, politics of Uganda, history of Uganda... don't even fucking bother.

Enal leaking, you see

Martin "EAT DA POO POO" Ssempa is a negro preacher in Uganda: one of the dankest, filthiest, most AIDS-infested corners of Africa. A closeted homosexual, it is natural that Ssempa would thus become Uganda's leading advocate of new laws to give gay men life sentences in prison, where they can freely and relentlessly suck and fuck each other's brains out until they die. Ssempa is also pushing a law to give faggots the death penalty, but as this law has no chance of coming to pass (as Uganda would be cut off immediately from the generous donations of civilized countries), it is evident that he is using the death penalty campaign as a shield so that people won't realize that he's actually a flaming queer.

Reverend Butt Trumpet

As a cock-jockey, Ssempa delights in talking endlessly about felching, ass-licking, smegma-huffing, butt-fisting, bukkake, cock-rings, and all the other activities that give homosexual faggotry its notorious reputation worldwide. He has taken to delivering lectures and sermons where every word out of his mouth is a joyous description of such homo-hawtness. Ssempa becomes so aroused by this that he has even begun showing hardcore XXX gay porn videos during his sermons and lectures, right there in the church, so that parishioners will be inspired to act upon their secret homosexual fantasies as soon as they get back to their huts and hovels.

Delicious Caca

Jesus also EAT DA POO POO.
Ssempa's favorite and most famous slogan to describe the gay lifestyle choice is "EAT DA POO POO."

This guy is a moron, look at him, he is using a Mac for fucks sake! If that isn't a clear sign of stupid I don't know what is.

For someone who seems to hate men shoving things up there asses so much he sure is a hypocrite, look how far up his ass his head is, that's allot bigger then a fist.


—Butthurt fag enabler

Just Good Friends

Taking cues from a genius.

These sexually explicit talks have made Ssempa something of a celebrity in Uganda, as well as in certain conservative circles of the USA and Australia. Many closet-gay Christian leaders from around the world have recently visited Uganda to pay homage to Ssempa. Some such as Rick Warren's Saddleback Church has broken off ties with Martin over eating a poo poo. Appropriately, then, Ssempa insists that homosexuality is being imported to Africa by Whitey as a way of keeping the black man down. While this is correct, Ssempa's analysis is somewhat tongue in cheek, as he really finds such domination rather sexy.

All honour to Brother Ssempa!

Faggots Respond

Monica Mbaru, from the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, roundly condemned the pastor's behavior. "You cannot screen pornographic material to your followers and then want to argue that you are upholding society's morals," she told the BBC. Well unfortunately, Ms. Mbaru, The Burden of Proof fell to Ssempa's shoulders. And he delivered: "I think we are dealing with someone who needs medical help."


See Also

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Blessed by God [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
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Featured article October 18, 2010
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