Epic Win Girl
Epic Win Girl (Aka Grainy-Chan) is a Slut from Manchester, England who, in the early hours of June 7th 2008, won over 9000 internets from /b/ by delivering in spectacular fashion. Epic Win Girl came to /b/ to request motivational posters and, predictably, she was greeted with "TITS or GTFO" from Anonymous. Not so predictably, she delivered almost immediately. This prompted Anon to ask for more deliveries, including vagoo and hairbrush in pooper. Incredibly, Epic Win Girl delivered with haste. At this point, Anon was convinced EWG (as she was later to be named) was simply a troll, so timestamps were requested. Yet again she delivered. Anon, unable to contain himself any longer, demanded she turn up on cam4. EWG did not know what cam4 was, but she dutifully looked it up. Ten minutes later, she was delivering porn to Anon and taking requests. She performed TWO barrel rolls, and drew many memes on her naked body. Yet despite her delivery she was later told to GTFO because of her Attention whoring.
—Epic Win Girl, signing out after her performance
The Condensed Version
- 1. EWG posted on /b/ requesting motivational posters.
- 2. /b/ requests "TITS or GTFO".
- 3. EWG delivers TITS.
- 4. /b/ requests vagoo.
- 5. EWG delivers vagoo.
- 6. /b/ requests cam4.
- 7. EWG delivers 2 hours of porn including hairbrush in pooper, drawing memes on her naked body and barrel rolls.
- 8. /b/ is still good.
- 9. ?????
- 10. Profit!
- Webcam in vagoo
- Panties in vagoo
- Bottle in vagoo
- A2M with brush (brush in pooper, then mouth)
- Tittyfuck with bottle
- Deepthroated bottle
- Gagged with panties
- Crab Walked
- BARREL ROLL (x2)
- Bukakke face
- Went a long way to curing the cancer that is killing /b/
- "Hi!" (on hand)
- "sup /b/" (on hand)
- "fuck me /b/"
- "MY COCK" (above vagoo)
- "IM UR BITCH" (on chest)
- MILLHOUSE face! (left boob)
- Epic Fail Guy (left boob)
- Awesome (stomach)
- She is also noted for having greater aesthetic value than most typical cam4 housewives.
- There is debate as to the date of birth of Epic Win Girl - some have stated as young as 7 but her profile confirms her as 18.
- The bottle of wine was labeled 'Lambrini'- a decidedly cheap and nasty cask of piss-colored venom.
Knife Bitch/Epic Win Night
- Epic Win Girl's epic victory was swiftly followed by the appearance of KNIFE BITCH, a freaky mask wearing cam whore who earned her name by inserting a bread knife, handle first, into her anus before proceeding to fuck herself at full force with both the aforementioned ASSKNIFE as well as a mondo-dildo in her pussy.
- The rapid succession in which Knife Bitch followed Grainy-chan resulted in many declaring this night one of the most winning in recent memory, dubbing it Epic Win Night.
Inevitable descent into failure
On June 20th she posted another thread on /b/, announcing her return with "Epic Win Girl here~" and a grainy photo of the date scrawled on her palm.
Within minutes, anonymous voiced his boredom with her, replying with:
Quite rightly worried that her internet celebrity status was about to collapse in on itself, EWG (who shall be referred to as Grainy-Chan from here on, since she no longer wins) quickly responded with several token shots of her breasts like a good little whore, but anon was bored with her grainy softcore, and the saging and flaming began.
Anon turned on her, and Grainy-chan quickly went into a sulk - apparently shocked that she had not been worshiped and praised by a legion of adoring fans. She posted a final cleavage shot, showing her waving goodbye to the camera:
The flaming continued however, and within minutes, Grainy-Chan deleted the thread.
As such, any future threads that Grainy-Chan might create should be sagebombed at full force, in the vagina, mouth and ass. Unless she does something worth while, you know. Like posting a video of her eating her own cunt or something.
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