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Michael Everson

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Everson quickly alttabs from his scat porn, and onto ED.

Michael Everson is an non-notable UNICODE developer who is the most vain and pretentious person in the world. He created a Wikipedia page about himself and is its sole contributor. If one is to judge by the WP entry, he is like a God. However, if you saw him in real life, you would soon notice that he's just a little, insecure homo who desperately craves efame.

One of his previous employers (he has had many) reports that Michael was fired for sexual harassment and that, beyond knowing the UTF16 code for nearly all the world's written characters, he is really dumb, having absolutely no critical thinking skills. Michael is unable to add two digit numbers in his head. Michael's dream is to finally comprehend binary and hexadecimal so he can tell people the base-2 and base-sixteen versions of the character codes. However, pregnant women have been known to spontaneously abort when in close proximity to the retarded fucknut. It is thought that, in these cases, the unborn foetus is voting with its tiny feet, and saying "Fuck that, if that's what the outside world has to offer."

It is said that Everson has the personality of a 16 year old girl. He gets excited by the smallest of things and has absolutely no ability to understand complex social conventions, such as washing his hands after going to the toilet. Or even wiping his bum with toilet paper. Everson was once seen playing with his own excrement at an IEC conference. He just grabbed a piece of his fresh poo and smeared it all over the table, making the other participants leave in disgust. This is said to have set back the development of UNICODE for several decades, as some swore to never implement support in their operating systems until Everson was committed to a mental institution.

Everson, realizing that he will just not get any slack from people for being a complete idiot, decided to start calling himself a Buddhist. He knows absolutely nothing about that great religion, but is quite content to masturbate at work and then argue religious discrimination when they threaten to fire him.

He is known to members of the Yahoo! group "Qalam" ([1]) primarily for being the only self-proclaimed expert on the writing systems of the world to be a perpetually PMSing 16-year-old girl, other than Peter Daniels, his archnemesis. Other than PMSing, he and Peter Daniels contribute nothing to the Yahoo! group. Their non-bitchy messages are nothing but repetitions of previous responses. Nobody likes them.

Everson also attempted to delete the Time Cube article on Wikipedia. This adds to suspicion that he may be an evil inhuman brainwashed Cubeless robot-machine, a sick parody of the species known as homosapiens. When will he repent?


That really, really takes the cake, sir. -- July 13 2004

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