Everyking

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Everyking is a notorious pop music fanboi.

Everyking is an ex- a Wikipedia bureaucratic fuck and current user who had been de-sysopped for stalking Ashlee Simpson even before she became legal and turning all the articles about her into love-shrines.

Wikipedia's first IRC chat

Logs from Wikipedia's first IRC chat

 * everyking has joined #wikipedia
 <Larry_Sanger> Hi Everyking! Welcome to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia!
 <everyking> Hi
 <everyking> So anyone can start and edit articles?
 <jwales> That's correct.
 <everyking> Can I start an article on Ashlee Simpson?
 <Larry_Sanger> Who?
 <everyking> She's 16, and Jessica Simpson's sister.
 <jwales> Who?
 <everyking> A singer.
 <Larry_Sanger> Hmm...is she well known?
 <everyking> Who, Ashlee? Not yet, but she's got a great singing voice. In a few years, she'll
 be huge, you mark my words.
 <jwales> I'm not sure she's notable enough yet. Come back in a few years, though, and if she's
 well known then, feel free to create an article on her.
 <everyking> Ok, thanks.
 * everyking has left #wikipedia

History, starting a couple years after that

Everyking started his wikipedia account in February, 2004 and became an admin in May, 2004 making him one of the earlier TOW administrators. He edited 24/7 but nobody gave a shit about him until 2005 when they discovered the dozens of obsessive fanboy articles he'd written about Ashlee Simpson. When other editors decided this was some creepy stalker shit, Everyking swung into action to protect his precious masturbation fodder, throwing massive screaming hissy fits any time someone dared to suggest that TOW didn't need separate articles for Simpson's album art or Simpson's gorgeous pussy. Since he automatically undid any edit anyone made to "his" articles, he eventually pulled a ban for excessive reverting.

From his position as an admin, he sweet-talked Wikia into giving him an Ashlee Simpson wiki, even though they have rules about not creating wikis if nobody cares about the subject. It was defunct for some time, probably because Simpson's marriage to Pete Wentz broke Everyking's heart, but mysteriously came back to life.

His second arbitration case from April 5, 2005 caused him to be placed under three other administrators as mentors for him to give head to (and to watch him so he didn't run after the Ashlee Simpson articles again). It also made Everyking hate Phil Sandifer (then using the name Snowspinner), who filed the second arbitration case. Everyking had become quite butthurt by this bitchfight and whined about admin abuse and other administrators, mostly Snowspinner, who were ganging up on him (OMG raping the poor guy). Snowspinner filed a third request for comment against him even though noone cared because everyone hated Snowshitter just as much.

Everyking’s third arbitration case was because of a rant about admin abuse which only caused other admins to restrict Everyking’s account so he would STFU and stop complaining. Unfortunately it didn't work and Everyking kept whining about it until he got himself banned at least 100 times.


   
 
Everyking is required to familiarize himself with the particulars of a situation before commenting on it.
 

 
 

—Fifth restriction from Everyking's third arbitration

De-sysopping

In November, 2005, The Wikipedia Review was created for the lulz and Everyking joined because by then his main interest was bitching about TOW. Then, in August 2006, WordBomb, the TOW alias of Overstock.com employee Judd Bagley, ratted out SlimVirgin for editing the Wikipedia article on Gary Weiss. She had deleted revisions of the article, blocked the user Jkilla for supposedly being a WordBomb sock, and then protected it.

WordBomb made a big deal out of it and wanted to know what the deleted revisions said. Everyking claimed to have checked them, but MediaWiki admins weren't able to view edit differences from deleted revisions, so this was bullshit. There were ways for him to figure this shit out with freeware programs and wikifaggotry, but unfortunately he was just too dumb to do any of that thinking stuff.

Instead of using his brain, Everyking said, "I guess I could just post the full text and you could work out the differences yourself." Even the Review losers knew what a dumb idea that was, so Everyking didn't post anything, but he was already screwed by then. When a Wikipedia admin read the post and reported it he was LOL FIRED for being a dumbass. It turned out that SlimVirgin had only removed personal info about Gary Weiss to keep him from taking TOW to Internet court.

Nobody Likes You Go Away

On September 10 of 2006, he was again nominated for adminship, but did not succeed. Other RFAs include:-


Finally, his 6th RFA was successful.

What Part of "Fuck off, the Cabal Hates Yo Mofuckin' Guts!" Don't You Understand?

Ignoring his ignominous defeat just a few months earlier, Everyking had himself nominated again in early 2007 but the hivemind decided to smash him. Liek Nathanr and so many other Wikipedia Review members, this man is particularly pathetic in that his whole bitch-and-moan routine on WR is only a reflection of his sad longing to show the world just how much greater the project would be if only he had the mighty banhammer back again. Unlike poor dear Nathanr, he was only briefly banned altogether. Some TOW "mediator" lifted the restraining order, so he has now returned to protecting his beloved Ashlee from the awful torment of copyediting. Like Nathanr, however, teh Wikipedia remains his prime obsession.

If you'd like to discuss things with Everyking, you will find him here.

External Links

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