Warning: This article contains especially disturbing subject matter. Reader discretion is advised.
Alia "Alia Lorae" Loren Jacobson
||February 9, 1985
||Writer, Actress, Artist, Singer
||Dobbs Ferry, New York
|Alia Jacobson is a pedophile whose sexual interest in children involves erotic fantasies of torturing them.
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Alia Loren Jacobson AKA Alia Lorae AKA Poisontears is a pedophile activist currently living in New York where she is a performer in nightclubs. Alia considers herself an artist in several genres and states that she is appearing in a new TV pilot where she plays the part of a Banshee. Alia says she's written vampire stories, poetry and songs, some of which she has posted on GirlChat. She is attempting to make a career as a singer and wants to be famous.
Alia claims to be sexually attracted to girls age 7-12 and boy aged 10-12. Alia is particularly disturbing due to her violent fantasies and desires regarding her sexual attraction to prepubescent girls. Sometimes she claims to feel in control of herself but states that every time she sees a child her first thought is about hurting them. At other times she admits that she's not sure she can control herself and even though her parents and some friends are aware of her deviant desires she doesn't believe they or the mental health service providers she's seen fully understand the nature and extent of her perversions which extend to an interest in necrophilia. Her posts on sexually violent fantasies of little girls were so disturbing, she was even banned on the hardcore pedophile Website GirlChat for a period of time.
After this article was first published, she posted on her blog that she was not ashamed of what was contained herein, stating:
Everyone has morbid thoughts. There’s nothing strange about it. Everyone struggles with their own personal demons. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter what your demons are – what matters is what you do with them. So, there you have it. If you want to say nasty things about me and call me a pervert, feel free to do so. I have included the link to my Wikisposure profile in order to let my friends and fans see that I am not ashamed of what it says. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Despite her claims of veracity and that she was not ashamed of her desires, she later deleted the post from her blog her blog. She posted the blog again after this wiki went live.
Recently she completed a music video featuring John Tartaglia, where she and the Disney actor laugh at the content of this article in what appears to be an attempt to trivialize Alia Lorae's active 9-year participation in pedophile forums with known Sex Offenders, including child rapists.
Posted by poisontears on Friday, September 12 2008 at 06:48:26am
In reply to can pedophillia be cured, heard of Pedophile ocd? posted by 3883962 on Wednesday, September 10 2008 at 10:32:46pm
I both have OCD and am a pedophile, but they are completely separate entities -- the OCD is mostly concerned with fear of contamination and rituals like pacing back and forth -- the pedophilia merely defines who I am attracted to. However, when I was a teenager I sort of knew in the back of my head who I was attracted to, and so was obsessed with trying to push the thoughts away -- I became very focused on trying to prove to myself that I wasn't a pedophile, even though I kind of knew that I was. Do think that might be what is going on with you, or do you think the obsessive thoughts you have occur without reason?
I am also on prozac, and it has the opposite effect on my sex drive -- it lowers it considerably -- and because i've been taking it since i was eleven sometimes i wonder if it changed the course of my "normal" sexual development -- but by now that is somewhat of a moot point. When I am on prozac, (which is usually), I am still attracted to young girls, but because I'm not horny, I don't even make an attempt to form romantic attachments to people my own age because I think, "Hey, I can't be with someone I'm actually attracted to, so what's the point?" When I'm off the drug I actually consider the possibility of trying to find adult substitutes (which is probably a good thing, but when I'm off prozac I have a lot of other problems too.) Whenever I am taken off prozac, however, my sex drive becomes insanely high. And, on a rather personal note, even if i try to watch adult pornography, my mind later automatically turns the players into children later on in my own personal fantasies.
I don't really know anything about the possibility of sexualities changing. I've heard of people who are gay for a while and then straight for a while, but somewhere in the back of my mind I think they must have been bi or pansexual all along to be so flexible. My sexuality has remained pretty static for the past eight or so years....I have no idea if that's how it usually works or not.
....I guess i have always sympathized too much with people who commit horrendous crimes because every so often i myself have to sit down and solemnly swear to myself that i will never murder anyone.
Girls 7-12, boys 10-12
what's up y'all?
Posted by poisontears on Tuesday, April 14 2009 at 12:53:00am
I haven't been here in several millennia. Looks like not too much has changed. I've been so lost in the nastiness of life recently that I'd almost forgotten how light and fluttery my stomach becomes when a beautiful lg walks into the room. Had to come back here before i got lost.
Some odd questions:
1. If you were to become famous for something (such as being an actor, singer, novelist, etc.) would you eventually come out to the world even though it might end your career?
2. Is there any place online that still sells girllove symbol pendants? I wear something similar now - a small heart within a larger heart - and no one seems to give it a second glance. One day I might like to update it to the real thing.
I've been....weird. "Quarter-life crisis" perhaps. Because of increased stress i've been experienced increased tics from OCD and tourette syndrome, and am learning what it feels like to be stared at on trains.
- We noticed a pedophile named Poisontears posting on GirlChat.
- A search for her nickname led to her LiveJournal and MySpace where she posted details about her life under the name Alia Lorae.
- She posted her real name on GirlChat which matched the information from her personal sites.
- Images of her artwork matched the sigpic she had used on GirlChat.
- Public records search of her name confirmed all of the information she provided on the pedophile Website and her personal Websites.
Known Screen Names/Aliases
- Alia Lorae
Known E-mail Addresses
Last Known Address
Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522
Listed as the Producer of her most recent video on YouTube where she appears with actor John Tartaglia the well known Disney actor :
FOUR SHAW ENTERTAINMENT
1940 Deer Park Avenue
Deer Park, NY 11729
phone: 1(631) 643-2255
e-mail: [email protected]
John Tartaglia and the admitted pedophile, Alia Lorae, joke about this article and question it's veracity in this music video.
In reply to notification of this article, Four Shaw Entertainment wrote:
Disclaimer: The Artist is not employed by FOUR SHAW ENTERTAINMENT, INC. The views and opinions expressed in "Modern Monsters" are those of the Artist of the Video. They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions (whether obscene, sexual in nature, racist, personally offensive or otherwise inappropriate) of FOUR SHAW ENTERTAINMENT, INC. or any of its associates. Individual clients hire video and tv production companies on a free-lance basis. As an industry standard all clients are ask to provide a "production credit" based on production value, not content. In addition, this production was completed many months ago.
Last Known Phone Number
914 309 1690
i love my parents so much and i know they love me, but they don't understand the situation very clearly at all. and, they are both so convinced that i am not capable of hurting a child. but the thing is, i don't know that i'm not capable of it. sometimes i get scared that i am very capable of it indeed, and so maybe it is good that i am talking to this stranger. and something else my parents told me. they told me not to tell this lady too much. because i think they know the extent of some of my fantasies....but they also know that someone who does not know me very well could worry about my ability to separate fantasy from reality.
I keep having these dreams where i'm trying to fondle this little girl and crush her and bite her neck to draw blood--and i like it in the dreams--and i hate that i like it. Sometimes when i'm walking and i see someone boy or girl who i think is beautiful the first thing that comes through my mind is how erotic it would be to hurt them.....and then hearing about all the children being abducted and murdered it makes me feel even worse for thinking such things.
...what i get offended most by, as a female, is the weird assumption that females are naturally nurturing and somehow more angelic than men, when i often get the urge to kill and rape and maim
yeah, when i was a kid i was terrified of the prospect of growing pubic hair. Actually,seeing naked adults never bothered me.....but that could be because half of the artbooks (and yes they are ARTbooks)my dad has contain very realistic paintings of naked adults. My parents never seemed to have a problem with me looking at them as a child, not even the slightly pornographic ones....hmm, interesting...
...although she (or he) can be in the body of an eternal child, she can be hundreds of years older than the adult she seduces. Thus making the vampire-child the pedophile in the relationship, even though to those watching it looks the opposite way.)
But little gothy girls are one of the best things in my imagination (i rarely see them in reality.) although i realize that this might also tie in with the slight necrophilia that i try to keep suppressed.
Posted by poisontears on Monday, April 21 2003 at 03:53:03pm
it just seems like any other "paraphilia". Half of my fantasies involve people who are dead or dying--part of it, i think, is the wanting of a partner who will not respond.
all of my fantasies...
...are violent, and include rape, torture, killing, etc. And in all of my fantasies i am male (well, i guess that facillitates the rape thing.) Oddly enough, in some of my fantasies (in which i am not actually involved) there are two children, one raping and mutilating the other.
But I don’t know what to do with all these feelings inside of me. I don’t know how to transfer my desire to strangle into a desire to cuddle.
I am pretty much exclusively attracted to girls between the ages of 7 and 12. I want to be attracted to people my own age, and I can find them pretty – but I never feel physically or emotionally drawn to them, and only little girls give me that flutter in my stomach when they walk by. When I hear a little girl laugh, it breaks my heart with a strange sort of unexplainable joy.
However, I am extremely hesitant to call myself a girl-lover. This is because pretty much all my fantasies are extremely violent, and although I know I’m not supposed to say this, I DO think about hurting girls – gentle romance and sexual imagery do nothing for me and never have. And it makes me feel so horrid that I feel this way. If I ever actually acted on any of my fantasies I would feel so awful I’d have to kill myself – and I am really a very decent person and would never hurt anyone. But I don’t know what to do with all these feelings inside of me. I don’t know how to transfer my desire to strangle into a desire to cuddle. And there’s NO ONE IN THE WORLD I CAN TALK TO ABOUT IT.
In any case, I never go near children purposely; not because I’m afraid of hurting them – I have no problems whatsoever with self control – but because it hurts me in my soul that their presence makes me feel such things. I know that the things I feel will probably never go away, and that I’ll just have to deal with them. I guess I just feel very much alone and felt like venting.
I was looking through the "classes" section on craigslist, and thought i saw a class called, "Chinese Torturing For Children." It turned out to be "tutoring," not "torturing," but for a second there i was so excited...
i never couold expect a little girl to love me back. i know that when i was a little girl i wouldn't have wanted a relationship like that. Actually, i'm not even sure if i can truly consider myself to be a girllover--after all, most of my fantasies are purely physical and include hurting little girls. there is no way that can be considered girllove.
Recently though, I've been having the strangest fantasies....ones where I'm with girls younger than me, like from ages eight to fourteen. Sometimes they are violent (as in I am carving strange designs into thier bodies and drinking the blood....eeks, I've always had a weird attraction to pain...) and sometimes they are very gentle, loving, consensual. I don't know. Just pale, doll-like faces and bodies that are only just beginning to curve around the hips....soft little hands...I find it all so beautiful.
- Performed as a stripper in 2008
- Has been writing a Vampire Novel for several years
- Claims to have been aroused by disease and vomiting as a child:
Ok, here's something that i've been curious about. Do any of you people remember the things that aroused you as a very young child and before you knew about sex? When i was four or five i was very much aroused by the idea of vomiting, and disease. One of my fantasies involved the caterpillar from the Alice in Wonderland cartoon exploding. I was talking to a friend recently who said that when she was a young child she was turned on by the image of things expanding (like her sofa.) I am wondering if it is a normal occurance for children to be aroused by such unusual stimuli, or if we were just strange little girls.
Part of me wants to be a murderer
One night, to take a child's hand and
Walk her away to a room dim and
Hazing under candlelight. Part of me
Wants to breathe kisses into her
And hold her tiny body so close that it
And part of me wants to be the queen
With the executioner's hand on her shoulder
By the guillotine, standing
Before grub-toothed crowds who shout and sneer
I hold my head up, beautiful, proud
Cruel and tragic to the bone
Knowing that I will be remembered as my neck
Snaps under cracking blade
And part of me wants to be remembered like that.
And who are you to say that I am not beautiful?
Re: Young Pedo - A questionnaire
1) How old are you now? How old were you when you first realized you had a “special” love for kids; e.g. different from others who just “liked” kids?
~I am 18 now...i was 15 when i first started noticing and 16 when i realized it wasn't just a passing fascination.
2) How old were you when you first knew you were sexually, as well as emotionally, attracted to kids? How did you feel about it when you first realized you were what society calls a “pedophile”? Were these feelings exclusive, or did (do) you have attractions for peers as well?
~Well, at the age of 10, 11, 12, i was attracted to people my own age...i was more concerned about being a lesbian than anything else. And then my age of attraction just stopped growing as i got older. I first saw the term "pedophiles" in a sci-fi book (and wondered "what the heck is "pedo-OHPH-o-leese?") But...the time i really started associating myself with that term was the year in English class when we read several books dealing with the subject, and suffered through the teacher's exclaimations of "EEWW! That character is attracted to a nine year old! Isn't that disgusting?" type of thing
3) What kind of information did you receive about pedophilia and how did this affect your self-image?
~ as i'd mentioned earlier, pedophilia was mentioned (and debased by the teacher) many times in my 10th and 11th grade english classes. I felt...strangely unsafe in that class sometimes.
4)When you first realized you were different from your friends, how did you react? Did you confide in anyone (seek support) or did you keep everything inside? If you keep your attractions secret, how does that affect your life? How are your relationship(s) with parents and friends affected?
~well, the term "different from my friends" doesn't apply very well with me, since my friends are all so different from eachother. My group consists of bisexuals, heterosexuals, a blue-haired lesbian, a sadomasochist with a penchant for things that expand, a devout Morman, and me--i have no trouble talking to them about my specific feelings, because they tell me theirs, and some of their feelings are pretty unusual too. My parents know, but don't seem to take it very seriously. If i were a boy, they'd probably be more concerned.
5) How did your orientation affect your self-esteem when you first realized that you were attracted to minors? Has that feeling changed? Why?
~ at first, when i was just noticing it my thoughts were, "hey, this is kind of cool, i'm a social pariah." But then, as i realized that this wasn't a passing phase on the verge of going away, i started to feel sort of trapped, a little angry at the way my mind worked--and i still can't imagine what will happen in the future.
6) Have you ever lashed out in anger, either toward yourself or towards others, due to your attractions? Have you ever considered harming either yourself or others because of your feelings?
~ i've wanted to curse off my former English teacher. I've been angry at myself, asking "where did all of this come from? Aren't the kind of thoughts i have supposed to be the result of a messed up childhood?" That sort of thing. I--often wonder how i'll get through life without hurting someone. Because part of me so wants to be a murderer. And the more rational part of me knows i could never live with myself after harming someone else.
7) Have you ever considered getting (or have you gotten) professional help?
~ i have been in therapy since sixth grade for obsessive-compulsive type actions and general depression. I have briefly mentioned some of the thoughts i have to my counceler, but she too seems to make nothing of it.
8) What kind of support would best help a young MAA adjust to his/her orientation?
~understanding friends. Places like this where feelings can just be spurged out across a computer screen
9) What is the worst thing that has happened to you because of your attractions to minors/youth?
~negetive emotions. Anger and guilt. Nothing serious.
10) Are you optimistic about your future? Explain.
~ I am optimistic about the professional part of my future. I don't at present know how i will have serious "relationships."
If you have any information regarding this individual's current whereabouts, contact us at [email protected].
is part of a series on evil-unveiled.com.