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The eXile was an English-language rag printed on the back of oily paper sacks and distributed exclusively on the corners of Moscow's busy internets. It was written for an audience of American pedophiles that had to immigrate to another country to find cheap children. It's also read by basement trolls like you.

The eXile was devoted to the IRL trolling of a fascist empire in that fascist empire. Letters to the editor are selected purely for LOL value and held up for ridicule. It gave column space to the head of the Russian National Bolshevik Party, who spent a few years in jail for pranking the Kremlin and fucking boys on the Chicago subway. It paid a New York Jew to make fun of Comrade Vladivostok Putin, who has killed good white people for less. Pretty ballsy.

The eXile has trumped all Internet humiliation of LJ whores, camwhores, and IRC whores by hiring and debasing real whores in just about every issue (complete with their tit shots). It prints summaries of violent crimes from the pages of the Moscow police blotter and, for some reason, South Africa. It also features highly literate book and restaurant reviews to make it seem intellectual and stuff.

Mark Ames: Pwned

Last Thursday, The eXile were none too pleased that Jim Goad, a funny and talented author that puts time into investigative journalism, verbally slaughtered the teacher's unions. Fearing that their snarky, insightful commentary was threatened, head eXile queef Mark Ames feebly attempted to counter by alleging Jim "sucked Koch" and was a pawn in Scott Walker's corporate conspiracy; in truth, the only homosexual fantasy he ever had involved himself (srsly). In two thunderclaps, Jim responded by pointing out simple facts about Mark Ames:

The ex-eXile

Eventually Vladimir Putin showed up shirtless on a bear and shut their shit down, and the girly man Mark now haunts Brighton Beach dreaming of 15-year-old Russians.

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