Fagolescence

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A range of fagolescents not understanding the arc of life. From left: 40-something, 30-something, and late 20s. You're not getting any younger, fagtards.
Valleyfag's bovine bitch Owen Thomas with hair indicating he's deep into his fagolescence. Those bitch tits don't help.

Fagolescence is the tendency of faggots to never stop acting like teenage boys. This phenomenon can be seen in MySpace, Facebook and Friendster profiles of faggots over the age of 30 who look like they are getting their photos taken for a high school yearbook.

A Fagolescent will wear Abercrombie & Fitch (or Aeropostale, or anything with their damned brand name stamped across the product), style his hair like a fucktard, get drunk and chase twenty-year old fags well into his late forties and fifties; until maybe it finally dawns on him that most people are mortified by his style and embarrassed by his presence at bars, maybe he'll still do it if he somehow avoids AIDS and lives to 60.

A Fagolescent is often a bottom cunt during his prime fagolescent years (his thirties) when he is still attractive to the 20 year old fags who want someone to buy them dinner. When the fagsolescent reaches his forties, he starts to get worried and becomes nicer and doesn't mind picking up the tab, just thankful to be around someone in his twenties.

Signs you're fagolescent

  • You are over 28 and gay
  • The places you buy your clothes cater to high schoolers (and your fear of aging)
  • You have USI
  • You worry about what is cool well past the point when straight men no longer care
  • You wear a goatee
  • You think you look cool wearing expensive sunglasses
  • You style your hair to stand up in some fashion
  • You don't date fags your own age
  • You still get drunk and go bar hopping
  • Life accomplishment, knowledge and spiritual growth aren't as important as the gym and your tan, since the twenty year old homos you chase can't carry on a conversation about anything that matters.
  • You become a victim and use the excuse that you didn't get to be a whore in your teens because your were repressed, so you need to make up for it now, even though everyone else you knew in high school has married and started a family and you are alone
  • You do drugs
  • You listen to Daughtry = faggotry
  • You try to deny that you are a fagolescent
  • You have candles in your apartment
  • You strive to be an individual but yet you wear all of the same fag shit as the other fagolescents
  • Your MySpace page is filled with more shit than a 16-year-old girl's, and it takes longer to load.

Age range

The fagolescence lasts from 28 until about 47. At 48, they die of AIDS.

On the right we see typical college fags showing off their cooking skillz, notice the one on the right is still enraged from his last fisting session.

Dream Destinations

  • Fire Island
  • Provincetown
  • South Beach
  • Costa Rica - when they want to seem exotic and interesting
  • San Francisco - for obvious reasons
  • Disney World's "Gay Day" parade
  • Anywhere that has a Mardi Gras or Carnaval
  • Any city that is hosting a White, Black or Blue Party
  • Ibiza (still)
  • Manhunt or Gay.com
  • An Atlantis Cruise (below)

Yes, most of these fags are in their thirties and forties.

Famous Fagolescents

Fagolescence is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAngry GrandpaAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonathan YanivJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRedheadXilamGuyRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTranime GirlTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1YouYoungdefiantyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAIDSAnimuArt SchoolAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleAsk.fmBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedComputer Science IIICosplayDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeviantARTDrugsEdginessFanFictionFeminismFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGravity FallsGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/RobloxRuneScapeSecond LifeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSpeakoniaTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

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Fagolescence is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

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