Fast Food

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The truth about fast food.

Fast food refers to dining venues which specialize in offering food service at high speeds and low quality.

In reality the wait times often take up to ten minutes, as the stores typically only hire chimpanzees and/or acne-ridden, flunked the Mil8tary MSAT teenagers who'll spit in your food just for shits and giggles, stick their dicks in it, put their feet in the produce, or fellate the taco shells until their a gooey mess that falls apart in your hand.

For the majority of us, fast food restraints serve as a place to take a shit or a piss on a long trip and then ask the cops hanging around outside where we can find a decent place to eat because the quality of this food ranges from absolute shit to something that may have been scraped from the slimy bottom of the dumpster outside and has been recently discovered by California to cause cancer in Rats ranging from brain tumors to fatty liver.

Under no circumstance should you consume this "food," unless you're poor and black, and thus are already a burden on society. Fast food is one of the leading causes of the obesity epidemic in the United States, and is why Americans are so fat and useless when it comes to Making Anerica Great Again.

Notable stores:

  • Burger King – Where the burgers taste like ass, the fries are soggy, and your drink is filled with piss and sweat. Because they like to hire illegal immigrants, it's best to learn to count in Spanish and forgo the idea of having it your way.
  • Chick-fil-A – Same thing as KFC, but even worse in quality. Only eat if bone-in chicken feels a little too much like real food for you.
  • KFC – Food for niggers and rednecks from the South. Stay away from the nuggets unless you like gristle and pink chicken meat.
  • McDonald's – Greasy and salty fries that will give you an orgasm and then a heart attack. All the rest of the items are disgusting and will make you shit your pants.
  • Subway – Pay $10 for an 11-inch sandwich that lacks any flavor, aside from the cum punched in by your local Sandwich Artist.
  • Taco Bell – Cheap and tasty for the first minute, then you realize you're eating rat meat and you shart all over the place.
  • Wendy's Like all the before mentioned, salt bacon and grease are their main ingredients but at Wendy's you can expect a 30% markup.


This is a disambiguation page — we hope you feel less ambiguated.
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Fast Food
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

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