|This article needs moar pix and shoops.|
You can help by .
Brett "Screaming Lord Byron" Favre is a true American hero from the heartland. This
40 50-year-old manly-man was also the starting quarterback of the NFL's Green Bay Packers New York Jets Minnesota Vikings with numerous records and accomplishments on the gridiron over a long and storied career playing handegg. Having spent most of his stellar career as the franchise player of Green Bay Fudge Packers, this fan favourite was unceremoniously dumped retired in favor of a younger QB with fewer injuries and a nicer ass. He subsequently unretired and joined the New York Jets where he sucked a big one. After retiring again at the end of a disappointing season, he came out of retirement and joined the Packers' hated rivals, the Vikings.
But all of this is shit nobody cares about. What you will care about is his career in sexting. No stranger to making bad passes, (having thrown the most interceptions in NFL history -325- over a span of the most games in NFL history with interceptions thrown -189), in 2008 Mr. Favre threw up a wobbler of epic proportions.
Bat-shit insane former commentator John Madden made the world clear to the fact that his ancient, flabby ass is open for Favre 24/7.
<video type="vimeo" id="16227169" width="540" height="406" desc="Cockpix @02.08 " frame="true" position="center"/>
While sexting is primarily a fun activity for 12-year-old boys and 16-year-old girls, it's even catching on with old people. Even your grandpa is doing it! Sometime in 2009, the sports site, Deadspin, broke about then New York Jets QB, 50-year-old Brett Favre, having leched after the Jets' totally bangably sexy in-house sideline reporter, former Playboy model Jenn Sterger. After unsuccessfully trying to hit on her young, pert arse via plain old boring voicemail and text messages (he was, however, successful in creeping her out) the 'happily' married grandfather turned to sexting, sending her numerous, miserably underwhelming cockpix and a picture of himself butt nekkid (save a pair of Crocs) fapping.
While hilarious, the story largely went unnoticed until the decrepit old man decided to unretire (again) and signed with Minnesota Vikings. While this -in and of itself- was no big deal (since he totally sucked during his tenure with the Jets), the New York Troll Department saw some major lulz potential when the Vikings headed East to play the Jets at home in October 2010. Reviving the 'scandal' exactly one week before the game and tracking down Ms. Sterger for interviews, the NYTD sent the story fucking everywhere for Jets' fans to enjoy and use as ammo to taunt the old man who had ruined their 2008 season. Further drama-generating and lulz were had when Favre's pathetic unanswered voicemails and texts were made public to accompany the cockpix. After the whole shebangabang went viral, the NFL had no choice but to open an investigation into grandpa Favre's unwanted sexual harassment which unearthed further allegations of Favre being naughty with the Jets' in-house female masseuses. As of writing, the investigation is still ongoing -as is Mrs. Favre's RAGE about the whole (non) affair.
Favre has been largely (unlike his cawk) silent about the ongoing brouhaha but released the following statement:
However, Stephen Colbert had plenty to say.
<video type="vimeo" id="16227419" width="540" height="406" desc="Colbert Weighs In " frame="true" position="center"/>
TL;DR? See the vidya below.
Additional lulz were had by the usually unfunny folks at SNL who spoofed Favre's endorsement deal with Wrangler Jeans. Wrangler has responded by pulling their Favre ads from all NFL games for the foreseeable future.
<video type="vimeo" id="16285619" width="540" height="406" desc="SNL's Spoof Favre Wrangler Commercial " frame="true" position="center"/>
See: Pants on the ground
Prelude to Favregeddon
It appears that this whole episode did not come out of the blue. Apparently, upon joining the Jets, Favre began to stalk Ms. Sterger on her MySpace, setting up an account with the ludicrous handle of Screaming Lord Byron to hit on her assisted by a Jets' PR dude. Behold and take a seat.
- Colbert chimes in
- His official site
- Jenn Sterger's site
- Jenn's twatter
- Jenn's Failbook page
- A page full of twitter Brett Favre penis jokes
- Failbook: Fandom page
- Failbook: I hate Brett Favre
- Failbook: Brett Favre - Please Just Retire
- Failbook: When Brett Favre cries, Chuck Norris cries too.
- John madden responds
is part of a series on
the ED Special Olympics
Air Bud • Allison Stokke • Barry Bonds • Billy Martin • Brandon Phillips • Brett Favre • Bruce Jenner • Cindy Crosby • Diego Maradona • Gary Lineker • George Steinbrenner • Jim Bunning • John Terry • Klitschko brothers • Lawrence Taylor • Michael Phelps • Mike Tyson • Nodar Kumaritashvili • Rax Grissman • Robert Green • Ron Mexico • Shawn Johnson • Thurman Thomas • Ty Cobb • Zinedine Zidane •
Favregeddon is part of a series on
Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.
|Featured article November 4, 2010|