Fchan

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Fchan
Fchanlogo.png
FoundationFurry Friday
Major Boards/ah/, /m/
Epic WinsNothing. Ever.
Websitefchan.us
Typical Fchan thread.

Fchan is supposed to be the furry(er) equivalent of 4chan, just without the /b/, freedom of speech, lulz, or anything good. It should be avoided like the plague. It's run by Sage Nadia, who is responsible for the arbitrary board setup, banning freedom of speech and tightass rules. He isn't listed among the people running the site lest he actually be held accountable for anything, but he still holds absolute power. Questioning this or any of his other decisions is a great way to get b&.

The DNP List

People on the DNP list are self important losers who think that it makes them seem more important if they don't let people distribute their work. Even considering that it's the Internet and no one in their right mind should actually give a shit, the mods work valiantly to make sure that the shitty furry artists of the world don't get butthurt when their art is posted on an overly strict image board that they would never know about anyway. Often, its users will try and kiss up to the mods by marking every single fucking picture they see DNP. Never fear, the furries are here!

I have to go kill myself now.

"This is /a/ah/ material!"

Fchan's nasty shit.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1575438118034&set=a.1575438078033.2071485.1598023522

The FBan. You've been warned.

Whenever someone posts a picture containing a fetish (despite the fact that furry is a fetish), the mods will often swoop in and state "this is /a/ah/ material!" (/a/ being "Alternative" and /ah/"Alternative (hard)"(Honestly, what's even the fucking difference?) They will then proceed to vaporize it off the intertubes forevar. Because of course, a picture of two wolves screwing each other in the ass while wearing leather bondage is so much worse than a picture of two wolves screwing each other in the ass. Despite that it's all fur faggotry, the mods think they're making a difference, even though it just makes the furries angrier. Yet, they still kiss up to the mods anyway. Evidence shows that this is caused by furries having small brains, even smaller than the animals they think they are.

This has been further confused lately by Nadia unilaterally deciding that all Pokémon content, no matter how nasty, be placed in the /Toon/ board, lest the members of /AH/ get their sensibilities upset by seeing something too cute for their sensitive eyes. Lulz ensued because he neglected to tell any of the other moderators about this, resulting in many a furry posting their truly obscene cartoon material to the /Toon/ board, then getting their picture or thread deleted, and a summary ban handed out for posting nasty stuff in the wrong board, while he still happily deletes material he deems too cartoony on the /ah/ board, and bans those who posted it for going against his sudden arbitrary ruling.

Oh yeah, and questioning this in any way also results in a ban. This includes such basic actions as asking "Why?", "How cartoony is too toony?" and "What is WRONG with you?". At this current rate, experts expect so many new rules within the week that the website will simply be set to Permaban anyone who posts anything just to streamline the process.

How to troll FChan

How to NOT troll Fchan.
  • F40PH! lots and lots of F40PH pics (do not enter F40PH in any of the text fields or you will get auto B&).
  • Invade the latest thread devoted to Balto and claim you're the real Klaus Doberman (don't ask).
  • Post goatse at the proper opportunity.
  • Start a thread like "furries being killed by humans." This shit actually works because they think its another fetish. And many lulz will be had by all.
  • Post porn on the clean board, and Clean stuffs on Alternative boards
  • Talk about LULZ, /furi/ or Paws.ru
  • Say loud and clear a furry is just a drawing and nothing else.
  • Critique sincerely and professionally anything posted on /artist/ or /crit/, they'll turn batshit and it's by far the best way to get banned for not liking Jim Hardiman's 12yo coloring style.

How to Get Banned

Post something.

The mods on Fchan are the most fucking Nazi-esque mods you will ever encounter, slamming the banhammer on anyone who complains about an irrational rule the mods put into place, asks why the mods did something, argues about the DNP list, breathes incorrectly, or jerks off with their left hand (seriously, though, if you pull your pud with your left hand, you are a Jew).

Fchan IRC

Recently, FurryJustice, a division of PervertedJustice, sent a young 14 year old into the Fchan IRC. Lulz were expected, perhaps not this much, though.

10:23	Anon_The_Third	Hullow, jsr20
	Anon_The_Third	Also, JET SET RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
10:24	jsr20	Do a barrel roll!
		Mietz rolls
	jsr20	xD
	Anon_The_Third	With or without sticking it in a pooper?
	jsr20	x3
	Blux	wow anon
	Blux	wow
10:25	Anon_The_Third	I figured he was here to spew memes, that's one of them
	Blux	lol
	Anon_The_Third	"In b4 barrel roll, pooper, etc."
	jsr20	O.o Spam is eval
10:26	Anon_The_Third	Hahah
		Anon_The_Third spams the chan regularly with definitions
	Anon_The_Third	For example
	Anon_The_Third	PREPARE
	Anon_The_Third	In some programming languages, eval is a function which ''eval''uates a string as though it were an expression and returns a result; in others, it executes multiple lines of code as though they had been included instead of the line including the eval.
	Anon_The_Third	Eval-like functions are more common in interpreted languages than in compiled languages, since including one in a compiled language would require including an interpreter or compiler with the program, and more runtime information (such as variable names). Some compiled languages do have something similar to an eval function, see below.
10:27	Anon_The_Third	END TRANSMISSION
	jsr20	lol
	varek	fuck off you retard
	Blux	Whats your line count
	Blux	?
10:28	Anon_The_Third	Iunno, I don't feel like checking
	Anon_The_Third	Varek, was that to me?
	Anon_The_Third	Sheesh...
	varek	guess
	jsr20	Deviantart just ruined my perception of life
	Maiq	Hey look, it's Wee Todd! jsr20, don't you have a bridge to be guarding?
	Tenchi	lol
	jsr20	I did but it's gone now. O.o
10:29	Maiq	Awww.
		Anon_The_Third chuckles
		Maiq plays the world's smallest violin
		Tenchi plays the 2nd
	Tenchi	woo sterio!
	varek	stereo
	jsr20	I like the sound but..
10:30	jsr20	it could of used more cowbell
	Maiq	So, jsr20, fans want to know: How are you going to fail next?
		TerrorBite wheels in a giant cowbell in a frame.
	jsr20	I'm going to pretend to be straight
	jsr20	D:
	jsr20	epic fail insures
	TerrorBite	*ensues
	jsr20	lolz
		TerrorBite D
	Anon_The_Third	Is there something I'm missing here? People are being cunts and I'm not sure why.
	TerrorBite	 even
10:31		Aglaia continues chasing invisible goblins
	varek	i was always a cunt, dumbass.
	Maiq	Anon, jsr20 came in trolling yesterday
	Anon_The_Third	Ah, okay.
	jsr20	I was being a douche yesterday
	jsr20	
10:32	Anon_The_Third	Varek: I'm not used to you popping up to hurl poorly worded insults at me.
	varek	poorly worded ?
	varek	'fuck off you retard' is timless and very apt.
	varek	timeless even
	Tenchi	yea
10:33	Anon_The_Third	At least use a comma
	varek	you're not worthy of my grammar.
	Anon_The_Third	The hell did I do to you, anyway?
10:34	jsr20	It's kind of like what I did yesterday Anon, it had no meaning and was quite idiotic. 
	jsr20	Maybe Varek just likes to do random shit.
	varek	well i'm sorry if i don't appreciate some retard pasting what 'eval' is into a channel chat for no reason.
10:35	jsr20	exactly
	Anon_The_Third	T'was an example. 
	TerrorBite	'eval' is a programming keyword, short for 'evaluaton' 
	Tenchi	we need ascii porn
	TerrorBite	*Evaluation
	Anon_The_Third	No, no we don't Tenchi
	Anon_The_Third	XD
	jsr20	Thats not what your mother said. Oooh. Burn. <== Example of overused shit.
	Maiq	8======D O: <- ASCII porn
10:36	Blux	lol maiq
10:37	varek	thanks for sharing, jsr20 
		jsr20 changes nick to fail_smith
	varek	err
	varek	actually
	fail_smith	;o
	varek	make that captain obvious
	varek	from now on
	fail_smith	lolz
		varek hands fail_smith a paper hat
	fail_smith	woot
	varek	enjoy.
10:38	Anon_The_Third	8===): lulz
10:39	Maiq	8======D~~ ~~ ~~OX
10:40	Maiq	This is so retarded it's funny
	fail_smith	not as much as yesterday
	fail_smith	
	fail_smith	>:[
	Anon_The_Third	>:3
	Blux	Wait...you weren't trolling furnet the other day were you?
10:41	fail_smith	I don't really remember
	fail_smith	>.>
	Tenchi	lol
	fail_smith	mind you, I don't REALLY hate furries.
	fail_smith	>.>
	varek	you should do
	fail_smith	My friend isone.
	varek	we're all awful people
10:42	varek	worse than christians
	varek	even worse than vegetarians
	Anon_The_Third	Varek's probably right, there.
10:43	Mietz	i hate myself for it even
	fail_smith	and why is that
	Blux	Oh yes so awful.
10:44	varek	come on guys, group self harm session.
	TerrorBite	We're worse than Jehova's Witnesses.
		Mietz hits himslef with a whip on the back
		varek gets the kleenex and pointy things.
	TerrorBite	Or even Mormons.
	Mietz	*whip whip*
	fail_smith	never
10:45		Mietz starts jamming scissors into his crotch
	fail_smith	xO
	Blux	0_o
	Mietz	*jam jam whip*
	Anon_The_Third	Guys, Guys, holdon a second.
		varek gouges eyes with hot coals.
	Anon_The_Third	What the fuck are you doing.
	fail_smith	omg
	Maiq	They're self-hating
	Mietz	out out demons of furryness
10:46	Mietz	!!!
	Anon_The_Third	...
	Anon_The_Third	Proceed.
	fail_smith	random moment
	varek	purging!
	TerrorBite	OUT DAMN SPOT! *kicks a dog out of the door*
		Mietz looks at varek and is jeallous of vareks bigger selfhate
10:47	Mietz	he goes to a gym, i cant beat that in selfhate D:
	Maiq	lol
	Blux	lawls
		Maiq checks his pants... yup, his demons of furryness are alive and well ^^
	Maiq	Evil is gewd.
10:48	fail_smith	Bob Saget > Evil
	Mietz	can i wear a miniskirt while jamming my scissors into my crotch?
	Blux	maybe later
	Blux	>>
	Blux	<<
	Maiq	Sure, but only if you moan like a whore when you're doing it Miertz
	Maiq	Mietz*
		Mietz moans like a whore
	Mietz	*jam jam whip*
	Maiq	Okies, here's a miniskirt
10:49		Mietz puts it on and jams furiously moaning
	Anon_The_Third	This cannot be PG-13
10:50	Maiq	Hey! It's guro! Quick, get a camera!
		Blux phones in gurochan
		Anon_The_Third goes to gurochan for the lulz every once in a while.
	Anon_The_Third	Goddamn the stories are just downright hilarious
	Maiq	Anon: It's PG-13, barely
	Maiq	I think
10:51	fail_smith	jabbing your crotch with scissors warrents at least a pg rating
	Maiq	well, until one of the @'s or %'s comes in and yells at us
		Anon_The_Third holds his hands above his head
	Anon_The_Third	I'm not part of this!
		Anon_The_Third leaves to go get some breakfast
	fail_smith	omg burn him 
		Anon_The_Third is away| Fudz.
10:52	Maiq	I need something to eat, too >.<
		Maiq changes nick to MaiqAFK
	fail_smith	I have some chocolate in my trunk. 
	Blux	....
	MaiqAFK	Yeah, I'll pass on that thx
10:53	fail_smith	*pulls a candy bar out of his car's trunk* It's 100 grand. 
	fail_smith	Well I gotta brb..
	fail_smith	I need to drop the kids off at the pool and sit down and proccess some shit
		Mietz pours gasoline over himself and ignites
10:54	TerrorBite	But the pool's closed?
		Blux salutes smith
		TerrorBite couldn't resist
		Blux never got the whole "pools closed" meme
10:55		Mietz runs through the channel naked
	TerrorBite	Something to do with, there was this pool in an MMORPG, and then someone with AIDS went for a swim in it, and then everyone got AIDS? Or something...
	TerrorBite	Mietz, I did that earlier...
10:56	fail_smith	I never knew private parts could hang down so low.
	fail_smith	O.o
	Mietz	yeah, but you werent burning at the time
	Blux	ooooo
		Mietz runs through the channel naked AND burning
	Mietz	i win
10:57	fail_smith	Some furries are always on fire and naked. Dragons? (O.o)
10:58	TerrorBite	http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Pool%27s_closed
	fail_smith	oh that place
	fail_smith	Why did they close
	TerrorBite	http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Great_Habbo_Raid_of_July_2006
10:59	fail_smith	I mean mcdonalds doesn't pay great but damn
	fail_smith	habbo is fun to spam
11:00	fail_smith	o.o there's a creepy show on witches on
11:01	fail_smith	omg they burned themselves to find purity O.o;
	Blux	Thats one way too do it
11:02		fail_smith sets Blux on fire
	fail_smith	k
		Blux runs around screaming
	Blux	wait...didn't christians burn them anyways?
11:03	fail_smith	it says people who thought they were witches
	fail_smith	even non christians
	fail_smith	they would drown them 
	fail_smith	or burn them at a stake
	fail_smith	O.o
		Mietz sits down in a corner still burning
11:04		fail_smith roasts a hotdog over Mietz
	fail_smith	good eatin'
		Mietz eats it
		Blux changes nick to Blux|out
	fail_smith	T.T
11:05	Mietz	nomnomnom
		fail_smith pours acid on Mietz
		Mietz drinks it
11:07	fail_smith	>[ *stuffs Mietz into a cannon and fires him into North Korea*
		Mietz returns
11:08	fail_smith	what did you bring back 
	Mietz	REVOLUTION!
	fail_smith	omg hasta la vista *moves to Canacia*
11:10		Aglaia continues hunting invisible butterflies
11:11	fail_smith	o.o
11:18	Mietz	lets have a racist coffee
11:20	Anon_The_Third	Vivaaaa la reee-voo-lution
	Anon_The_Third	:3 Adicts.
	Anon_The_Third	The Adicts rather.
11:21		-> loofa has joined fchan
	loofa	Hello
	Mietz	RACIST
11:22	Anon_The_Third	Heyyo, loofa
	Mietz	oh, i mean hi loofa
	loofa	Hehe
	Anon_The_Third	Hey, he said hi without attempted homicide!
	Anon_The_Third	You've come a long way, loofa
	Anon_The_Third	XD
	loofa	Yay!
11:23		Mietz stabs loofa
	loofa	Awwww
	Anon_The_Third	Ooh, not that long of a way
	loofa	Hehe
	loofa	Getting ready for a show
		Mietz burns you and fries in hot oil, munches
		Anon_The_Third mumbles something about 'getting ready for your mom'
	loofa	
	Anon_The_Third	XD
11:24	loofa	Awright, gotta go
	loofa	See you guys later
	loofa	Gonna play some music!
		<- loofa has disconnected (Connection reset by peer)
	Mietz	that was like the loudest "I WANT ATTENTION" shout i ever read
	Mietz	<.<
11:25		Anon_The_Third sits on ch-
	Anon_The_Third	She left again D:
	Mietz	come in, tell what you do, and leave again
	Mietz	he really needs friends
	Anon_The_Third	That's loofa for you :/
	Mietz	yeah
11:26	Mietz	like totally
		Anon_The_Third gags himself with a spoon
11:31		Anon_The_Third reboots in attempts to get his second monitor up
		<- Anon_The_Third has disconnected (Quit: Trillian (http://www.ceruleanstudios.com)
11:39		-> Nero has joined fchan
11:41	Mietz	http://www.furaffinity.net/view/703966/
	Mietz	:D[[User:PervertedFurryJustice|PervertedFurryJustice]]
11:43	TerrorBite	<3 DarkNek0gami
11:44	Mietz	YES
	Mietz	win²

Fail_Smith was the username used to find out information, the decoy was made to appear as a simple kind-hearted douche who had apologized for a few days ago when he trolled the IRC with join flooding. In this way, he was granted to stay in a private pm by one of the admins, and able to record the following. PFJ has taken this and reported it to various outlets capable of handling the lulz factor.

Furries and Butthurtness

A prime example of furfag logic.

Some furries may resort to reporting your ip to the major IRC channels as done with several of PFJ's accounts. This can be remedied by simply changing your ip address or bypassing the server client. Nice try, furfags.

Cub Art? In MY Fchan?

WHUT? YEAAAH!

For the longest time, all depictions of underage furfags (aka cub pr0nz) had been exiled to /ah/, amongst the sickfuckiest of sick fuck furfaggotry known on the internet. Yet somehow if the picture is of a copyrighted character, the age and action depicted doesn't fucking matter, and said pr0n can be posted in /toon/. This makes no fucking sense. But then again, when have furfags EVER made any god damn sense?

Recently Xenofur (the Fchan admin) outlawed all depictions of cub pr0n, citing some imaginary U.S. law. This triggered butthurt and drama across the entire fandom, especially due to the fact that /toon/ was somehow, again, exempt from this law.

Also, making a topic about cub art in /dis/ is a surefire way to get yourself b&, because Xenofur is easily butthurt that anyone would even fucking dare question his/her/its infallible law.

UPDATE: Xenofur posted in a "ban trap" thread (see left image) which Sage Nazia created for the purpose of "trawling" and weeding out anyone who disagrees with him. Xeno, not wanting to seem "speshulz" promptly b&'z himself for For Great Justice. Some humorless, ass-kissing furfag tattles to Xeno about this entry on ED and he edits it, but fails to add any lulz. Vandalism has been countered by preventative copypasta.

List of Boards

Wookiee wredridingwolf.jpg
Ah 1204105599521 ctf.jpg
  • Rule 34 is supposed to go here, but it's not heavily enforced.
  • /a/ah/ - Devoted to posting the creepiest shit possible, (unless it's deemed "too cartoony", then it's /toon/ material.) as if furry porn itself weren't fucked up enough. have a look and now that your eyes are ruined, feel free to look at the pain series.
  • /c/ - For christian furries who would feel like dirty heathens for masturbating to porn, despite the fact that God considers all furries to be fucking abominations.
  • /tent/ - Deleted after everyone realized it made no sense to have a board devoted entirely to one fetish.
  • /flash/ - Deleted after [some furfag] collected every single Flash animation before the weekly maintenance, and then reposted all of them, turning the board into /r9k/ due to the fact that the shit-for-brains usual users couldn't figure out what the fuck to do.
  • /crit/ - Furry circle jerk where furries post their crappy artwork and yiff each other in the butt.
  • /artist/ - For "artistic" furries to pump their e-gos and characters full of helium.

Fchan Spamming

If you are a closet furfag and frequent 4chan /b/, /ic/ or any open imageboard with, or even without a /furi/ board; you have probably witnessed the following attempted Chemo. Encouraged by Sage Nadia and Christian Walde(AKA Xenofur), people were trying to spread fchan on closet-fur imageboards, accompanied by the usual anti-furry spam.

GTFO of 4chan, furfags! About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Procedure of the spammers: pick some popular furry's art, stick some huge text, censor it and encourage by any means the banning of furries from 4chan, and try to encourage members of lulz.net to leave and post on Fchan. Keep up the good work, guys! We need more Chemo!

External Links

U-18 Chan Symbol
  • Warning: presence of Trojans and Worms reported, make sure your Firefox/Opera is up to date before any eventual raid.


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