The Original LOL
Feltcho, like all other internet crazies, eventually got an ED article written about him. After making this discovery and realizing what serious business the Internet is, Feltcho went batshit insane, and immediately called then ED owner Joseph Evers, to leave angry, vaguely legal threats.
Little did Feltcho realize that it was the Bantown voice mailbox and that the city-state's entire population had access to it. As frivolous legal threats against Bantown's favorite WIKI are taken very seriously, Bantown immediately contacted its qualified attorney at lol, Andrew Weevlos.
What follows is a series of voicemail responses to the initial contact by Bantown's attorney in the order they were received. Note that he has only been given a single phonecall, but has called the Bantown voicemail box a total of 47 times (including the times he didn't leave voicemails) as of the time this was written. Feltcho is a certified nutcase.
Yes, good afternoon, my name is Dennis Fetcho I have been apprised by some of my clients that my name is appearing in a website that has your name as a registrant, I am demanding that this article be taken down immediately or I will be seeking action against you and those involved in this article on write essays. I am not at all humored by your satire website and the fact that your people are putting forward defamatory marks and comments about me. You may call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. My name is Dennis Fetcho. I have gone into your little weeki (sic) I have edited it and now your administrators have blocked me out so obviously, this is something you think is very funny. Give me a call or I will seek legal action against you immediately.
Joseph this is Dennis Fetcho once again, calling in response to your website Encyclopedia Dramatica. Um, I have noticed that I have been blocked out of your website for what I think it was called, uh, vandalism for correcting an article or eliminating a false article about me in your website. Once again, sir, I don't know who you are, who this Hardvice bastard is, but if you guys think it's funny to spread false, defamatory comments about me on your website, I guarantee sir, I will personally drive up to serve you, personally, and deal with you guys at your administration offices. I have no patience for a bunch of punks thinking it's funny, using my name to promote your website. I have heard now, from about 15 different sources now about this article, and I am sick and fed up with these punks spreading these type of false rumors just 'cause they think it's funny. That you wanna have a job, lemme come up there and meet with your people, 'cause I don't think it's very funny what you're doing right now to my image and my name. You got that straight buddy? My number, XXX-XXX-XXXX. And you better take that article down on your website, and I mean, immediately, and get rid of these people who are behind this frickin' assault against my name. Out. Talk to me soon or I will personally drive up with a court order against you.
Joseph, this is Dennis Fetcho again. I'm really getting pissed at you you son of a bitch. That website Encyclopedia Dramatica, who the hell do you think it is that put there on my type of website when I sign in, pornographic images of some woman getting fucked in the ass, how you are the administrator and I am the guy that just got banned by you you motherfuck for trying to change over an article that I did not give you authority to use my name, I did not give you guys authority to take my copyrighted material, and I did not give you authority to quote things that I never said. Now take the damn article down immediately or literally, swear to God, I will come up to your frickin' school, I will meet with your administrators, and let people know exactly who and what's behind you and your little system administration. I'm pissed dude, take the article down. My number: XXX-XXX-XXXX. You don't think I'm pissed? Just listen to the voice, guy. I'm not interested in you guys and your little cute little jokes about how you're gonna spam and troll people, and literally frickin' harass them on your site and then throw up your pornographic images when they try and go and edit out false information. Now take the damn page down dude, or else I'm literally gonna meet with you people, personally about what you're doing. Fine! Now take it down.
Joseph, I have just, uh, this is Dennis Fetcho again, I know it's the middle of school, summertime, you may not even be getting these messages, but I have just gotten harassed by people who think it's pretty funny what you're doing at your website called Encyclopedia Dramatica, you got about 24 hours buddy to take that thing down, I'm really pissed, I don't have patience to be dealing with a lot of punky kids, like you, who get paid to be around these fucking punks, okay? Take the damn article, it's called Dennis Fetcho, off of your website now. It has no business being there. It's got false art, it's got false sentences, being attributed in my name, you're using some of my copyrighted material out of context, none of this I've given you permission to do. I don't know who you are, either who you are behind this website, but you know what, you're showing up on the whois, and a whole lotta other things regarding the encyclopedia dramatica, so you really don't got a whole lotta options because quite frankly I'm personally gonna meet with your people up there if I have to, to get this taken care of, because I have no patience for it and if I have to sue you, personally, I do that, it's okay guy, I got plenty of money. So you know what? Let's take it down and just let's get rational here because you have no business using my name on your website for a bunch of punkass little kids who think it's funny to defame and harass people on your website. Okay guy? Thanks a lot. Bye.
He now has his very own blog HERE.
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