Firefly

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Looks like jailbait, but go ahead and have a fap - she's 25!

Firefly is an American show which is similar to Star Wars and Cowboy Bebop because it stars cowboys in space. Despite the high tech of the show's universe, its characters use revolvers, grenades, etc. The show went off the air because nobody watched it. It was created by Joss Whedon, the chubby man best known for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its inferior spin-off, Angel. Fans of the show are usually referred to as Brownpants.

Contents

The Show

   
 
The secret of Inara's syringe, as seen in the pilot episode; she is infected with a deadly disease. There would have been an episode where she is gang-raped by Reavers. Because she injected herself with the syringe, all of the Reavers on the ship die.
 

 
 

—Tim Minear, revealing poltlines of unproduced future episodes

Captain Surrogate hands out orders to the ship slave.
Serenity star Captain Assburger.

The Plot

The movie starts with space rednecks being oppressed by the government, which basically consists of a bunch of criminals who everyone likes. Captain Assburger gets saved by her brother and they join the half-assed crew of the ship Serenity, where she is given the valuable job of protecting her shipmates from harm using her precognition, and her brother is given the task of being an over-protective emo troublemaker. The chick only actually saves them once, when she senses a bunch of zombie killers heading their way, and then the reason she's a part of the crew is pretty much forgotten. Since the big bad government wants Captain Assburger so they can purge the universe of the blight that is Assburger syndrome, Captain Surrogate, being the dashing and witty rebel he is, decides to keep her so he can force the government to accept assburger's syndrome as an acceptable mental illness for the lulz. The big bad government sends a flaky black person after them who uses a sword, which makes sense considering that they have space-travel technology.

2 hours later, the same mega awesome plot is going on with no change and no character development. Captain Assburger leads them on a wild goose chase until they finally go to a planet and...who fucking cares because they kill off the ship's pilot, Wash (the only likable character on the show) just so that they could end the series with Captain Assburger flying the ship while the Captain lusts after her underage (kick)ass.

The Ship

The sophisticated technology of the Serenity.

The ship Serenity is the greatest source of serious drooling from fans. They get all aroused because the ship is mega frapping awesome compared to other Sci-Fi ships. The best way to troll a Firefly/Serenity discussion is to talk about how Serenity's lack of time-travel capability makes it more realistic. Then sit back and watch the fun!

The ship ends up being mostly destroyed towards the end of the movie in a crash landing. The Dread Pirate Steve gets skewered in the process by some sharp metal beams the zombie killers use. In the end, they repair the ship, but can't repair the geeky driver. Lulz ensue.

The Origin (hint: it's a knockoff)

The big "secret" about Firefly is that it's stolen.

Joss Whedon already has a history of stealing ideas from people, but in this case he copied another show wholesale to create this thing. The show in question is "Outlaw Star". A knockoff of a knockoff of a knockoff that was itself later bastardized by Whedon to create Firefly like an Inception of copyright infringement or a Human Centipede of artistic shit.

Outlaw Star is a wannabe Cowboy Bebop, that is itself just Lupine III with a fresh coat of paint. But at least those shows weren't nearly as shameless as Whedon in their obvious robbery. Every element of Firefly is lifted directly from Outlaw Star, from the setting and plot, right down to character personalities and names of major plot elements! When denies the allegations, but even Wikipedia used to admit this until his butthurt fans had it deleted. EDiots, go and edit-war it back. For great justice.


The Movie (Serenity)

Serenity is a sci-fi movie about a doped up underaged girl named Captain Assburger, or River Tam to her friends. She has psychic powers that almost enable her to sense imminent danger to her buddies. Since that power sucks and she only used it once, she also has the ability to flip out and kick major ass. The bitch is crazy. The cast includes some up & coming awesome stars. Serenity is also the name of the super-advanced spaceship that they ride around in. The whole thing is based off of the short lived and most awsomest show in the history of television, Firefly.

The Fandom

Fanmade Serenity movie poster.

Serenity impregnated basement-dwelling retards with crappy fanfiction, which they promptly birthed all over the internets. People saw all sorts of sexual tension in the movie that no one else had the perception to see: Captain Surrogate/Generic Badass, Summer Glau/Captain Surrogate and Generic Badass/Summer Glau fap material were churned out at an alarming rate. People got themselves all worked up over Summer Glau just because she could flip out and beat the crap out of everyone in sight, even though she only did this twice. Fans raved about how great of a movie it was compared to the canceled TV series, and for a time, things were good. Then the hype died down and everyone realized that the movie obnoxious, derivative and LOOOOOOOONG.

Hao Duz I Troll Fyerfli Fan?

  • Insult Summer Glau
  • Point out all the faggotry of the show - such as the spaceship named "Serenity"
  • Incorrectly refer to the Reavers as "Reapers," or claim that the TV show copies The Chronicles of Riddick by having said berserk dead people run around in their spaceships and kill everything
  • Explain that the show was canceled because noone watched it, and that the movie's international box office gross didn't even equal its budget

The Song

SO NOT GAY


See also

External Links


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