Five Year Plan

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Before The Graet ED Civil War in 2011 when the Super Colossal decided to change the business strategy of Encyclopedia Dramatica by reining in the lulz (despite the fact that this niche demographic of safe for work "lulz" had already been done before with much better results), the discussion of website reform began to circulate on the forums. Such discussion was viewed as a threat to the old regime's Dramacrats, who didn't want uncircumcised Philistines to express anything but absolute loyalty to their Golden Calf Idol and her plans. Even before the civil war, all attempts at even discussing reform would result in threats of permabanning and being reduced to editing in a forced labor camp. Luckily, this tyranny was not tolerated for long and after the Super Colossal decided to stop hosting Encyclopedia Dramatica, it was quickly revived by the rebel faction. This victory by the rebel faction was greeted with great rounds of applause. Unlike the previous administration, which believed in a "Trickle-Down" approach to leadership and site management, the current administration utilizes a more bottom-up leadership and site management. This approach has lead to a resurgence of collective loyalty among the userbase to a brand that had self destructed due to the corruption and greed of Encyclopedia Dramatica's "Whore of Babylon". This page is a catalog of Encyclopedia Dramatica's first round of reforms based on the deliberations of EDiot Forum Users strategizing methods by which the site may be improved.

Website Reforms

Unlike the previous attempt at reform, this plan does not concern changing the content of Encyclopedia Dramatica as everyone of value is happy with the satire, racist, sexist, and homophobic jokes. Instead, this reform is about 1) making ED more accessible and informative of Drama to the masses; 2) grassroots advertising through fashionable clothing; 3) and creating a larger demographic niche. If you wish to suggest more ideas or wish to volunteer your resources/services, please do so here

Restarting the Lulz News Network

Before the ED Civil War, Encyclopedia Dramatica released the occasional video summing up the latest internet drama and memes for your viewing pleasure. This was something the old regime actually did right and due to it's popularity we are planning on restarting the Lulz News Network. Currently we are looking for volunteers who can: record, write scripts, and report without laughing at nigger/cock jokes. We are also considering allowing EDiots to submit their own comical videos to be broadcasted each time a Lulz News broadcast is released. Due to expectation that this will be a rather popular program, only two EDiot-made videos will be aired in each broadcast. We are also planning to run a second program to go parallel with the Lulz News Cast which will document IRL Drama with a satirical spin.

Restarting the Lollershop Encyclopedia Dramatica LulzGear Center

Given the nature of Encyclopedia Dramatica, we don't have the money to advertise in any other fashion aside from word of mouth, meaning that you alone are responsible for recruiting EDiots who don't know they are EDiots yet. You could be cheap and simply tell your friends, but that runs into the obstacle that you don't have any friends and probably start to feel squeamish when you talk to strangers. And for the small minority of EDiots who can function in society, you'll eventually get tired of shouting "Join ED Faggots!" at strangers all day. In order to deal with both problems at once, we have come up with an idea: why not make your body a fashionable billboard? It will certainly get you some internet pussy/dick IRL. And if it doesn't get you laid, at least people will known that your e-peen is significantly more massive than theirs. If you have ideas to suggest for T-Shirts and such, please suggest them here.

Documenting more IRL Drama and Citizen Journalism

After an underground faction of radical free speech activists got a hold of internal documents showing the widespread incompetence of a Fortune 500 company and made an article about these leaked documents for you to read, a general consensus emerged among those who matter of "why can't we do more cool shit like this?" And so began our imperialist expansion into the world of journalism.

Some of you may be thinking "this isn't going to work." We couldn't disagree more. For the first time in history, trust in large media corporations is lower than ever before not to mention that Rupert Murdoch's Media Empire is rotting from within due to corruption. The decline of credibility among corporate media and the eventual collapse of the Fox News Empire is creating a large demographic niche that Encyclopedia Dramatica can easily fill. These are the means of our success:

Website Affiliated Reforms

Due to the fact Encyclopedia Dramatica upsets a lot of people for simply speaking the truth, we are bound to make enemies of powerful people. In order to defend ourselves, we need to create the following...

Fuck yeah we are the Liberators!

Grassroots Political Support

Encyclopedia Dramatica intends to go undergo substantial changes and expand its tentacles into multiple niches. Increased reporting on political and corporate matters are going to submit Encyclopedia Dramatica to greater scrutiny by IRL Forces. In order to counter this, we must have large grassroots support to defend our right of free speech. We are going to use this particular need and the catalyst of the Broadside leaks as the declaration that Encyclopedia Dramatica is going to form an independent equivalent of the Pirate Party International, called the Encyclopedia Dramatica Party. While our primary purpose is to defend the site, the only meaningful way to do that is if we have people within elected positions of government. While our main policy concerns are Net Neutrality, Government/Corporate Transparency, and Free Speech, you can't win in an election in the United States with only those issues as your platform.

Those three main policy issues are identical with the Pirate Party. However, since this is Amerikkka (not the Nazi Socialist Cultural Marxist European Union) which was founded on principles such as "Freedom, Guns, and Jesus" there needs to be real policy issues that are going to win elections, such as: anti-direct democracy, there is a reason our Founding Fathers created a Federalist Republic, not some bullshit "General Assembly" government; the legalization of all mind altering substances; the legalization of heavy weapons such as rpgs, tanks, and attack helicopters; Recall all American Army Forces from around the world except for South Korea and Israel and slash the Army's budget by 50%, and use the remains of the Army to rebuild America's crumbling infrastructure; merging the US Navy, Air Force, and NASA into one agency; Prosecute bankers who are guilty of corruption and/or gross incompetence; shut down all American nuclear power plants before we have our own Fukushima due to poor maintenance, notice how some of them are owned by PG&E; and finding out what Atlantis was trying to tell us. Basically everything that you want in a political party for a superpower nation, but no one will ever deliver, we intend to deliver.

What is the ideology of the Encyclopedia Dramatica Party?

There is no single ideology or faction, there is a series of negotiations of basic party policies based on factional consensus of educated individuals who deliberate on issues until a policy is decided. Afterwards, stated policy is unchangeable, except within the consent of Party structure. Despite this, a great deal of policy will not be determined by the Party and thus left up to each EDiot candidate to decide what are the other issues that are important to him/her. If you feel you are capable enough to help shape Party policy, feel free to suggest ideas here as the Party structure isn't based off the Sysop EDitor hierarchy.

So what about the Encyclopedia Dramatica Party's short term objectives?

While we cannot run any candidates in the 2012 elections, the Party can do numerous things to impact the 2012 elections: make lulzy political attack ads and attempt to make them viral; support anyone but Obama or Romney, which means supporting Gary Johnson because he is the only Presidential Candidate that is most in line with ED Party policies; spread leaks yourself, either they could be Broadside or something you uploaded yourself. This is to change the discussion of the political debate in the 2012 elections, it is essential to expose to the masses which President candidate is truly about government and corporate transparency, net neutrality, and free speech; and write Encyclopedia Dramatica Party policy. However, the most significant change you can do is donate to Encyclopedia Dramatica. While Encyclopedia Dramatica wishes to expand our internet empire, we don't wish to change any that is in the spirit of Encyclopedia Dramatica, thus we need donations and/or edits from users like you to help fund/maintain our imperialist ambitions away from outside influences. Only together can we truly lulz it up.

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See Also

Five Year Plan
is part of a series on
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