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Free is a deceptive word invented by American patriots and web ads. Any time you see this word, you are witnessing bullshit, and its source should therefore be completely ignored. Following the word free, there is usually a superscript, that if followed, leads to a ridiculously long legal page that explains the extremely rare set of circumstances that must be met for you to get your "Free Gift." Here are examples of some of the fiery hoops you might have to jump through:

  • Getting pwned in the ass by Bubba
  • Signing up for 6 free offers, which lead you to signing up for 6 more offers and so on
  • Swallowing
  • Selling your soul to Satan
  • Adopting a child
  • Being a Janitor on 4chan

things that are free

See also

Free is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
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