From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Turks insisted on pushing it in, and IDF commandos armed with paintball guns and pistols fast-roped from helicopters onto the boats. Turk thugs, mistaking the commandos to be Armenians (most likely due to the hook noses), attacked the brave men of the IDF with kebab skewers, knifes and metal clubs.
The casualties included the 9 dead terrorists, 60 terrorist-huggers injured and 10 brave Israeli warriors hurt. Psychological damage included wounded pride of the previously unstoppable IDF men, who had their guns jacked by the batshit insane Turks.
With the situation quickly brought under control and everybody with the flotilla being safe and sound in Israeli comfort stations (except for the dead terrorists), an Everest-sized meteor of butt-hurt was about to hit the planet.
Video that clearly shows that the "peace activists" tried to start a pogrom. Soldiers remember that they have real guns about a minute into the clip.
The Freedom Flotilla was the brainchild of the pro-Palestine international troll organisation called The Free Gaza Movement who are dedicated to freeing all the crazy Hamas terrorists that call the Gaza Strip home so they can rape, pillage and plunder Israel, and the IHH, who are dedicated to human rights whenever Jews are involved.
Whilst Hamas are the democratically elected Final Bosses of Gaza, this is not quite the kind of freedom our great W envisioned. Since the Iranian sponsored Hamas are terrorists who have vowed to wipe Israel off the map, create a second Holocaust, and wipe out the infidel non-Muslims of the world, Bush and his Egyptian allies refused to recognise them as legit leaders and it was agreed that Israel and Egypt wall them in and cut them off from pretty much everyone -especially their Iranian and Syrian arms dealing pals. Since then, Israel has policed Gaza with all the subtlety of a rabid pitbull.
Among other righteous measures they denied access to anyone wishing to enter or leave, hoping that regular everyday Gazans would get sick of living in a poor shithole and maybe vote for someone nicer next time. To give this process a push, they bombed the shit out of Gaza in 2008/9. This did little to stop Hamas or their followers, who are still hell-bound on shelling Israeli civilians with Qassam rockets and eventually eradicating the Jewish state. It may appear that the only solution Israelis have is to build a really giant killdozer and wipe all that human garbage out of the way, but even the Heebs consider this solution a tad disproportionate.
To add isult to the injury, the Gaza war and the blockade did not sit well with the socialist hippies of the planet. They gathered a global horde of twats who are too dumb to consider the long-term effects of letting the Islamsits make southern Israel unlivable for Jewish civilians. Together they proceeded to slander Israel with such labels as slaughtering civilians, running a concentration camp, and being an apartheid state. Meanwhile, Israel has countered with a statement that everyone except anti-semites knows is true, "Israel has a right to defend itself". In response, a lot of people with too much time on their hands have been calling for a boycott of Israel, along with periodic attempts to break the Israeli naval blockade and get Hamas aid and comfort. And that brings us to the Freedom Flotilla.
The video below clearly shows that the Freedom Flotilla was nothing more than a thinly veiled IRL trolling mission with the express intent to provoke Israel into reacting with lethal force to make Israel look bad. The consummate professionals of the Israeli army willingly obliged and fed the trolls hot lead.
The Heroic Raid
—Anon IDF Commando
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Daybreak, International Waters:
The flotilla was on its way. Turkey had heard the cries of Hamas and it had answered.
The IDF told them that they could go to Israel and unload their shit there, where it would be inspected and transferred to Gaza. The activists were appalled by the possibility of touching one piece of Jew territory, so they REALLY put those IDF men in their place and told them Jews to march on back to the ovens. OWNED!
When this happened, it was decided that the flotilla would be stopped once and for all. As the flotilla steamed to Gaza, three IDF frigates carrying commandos, helicopters, and speedboats then showed up to break up the party. The IDF commandos then roped down onto the ships from helicopters, while others boarded from rubber speedboats. It was sort of like Black Hawk Down, except the enemy was far more dangerous than mere niggers. The unsuspecting Jewish stormtroopers were were greeted by a wave of savage Turks, ululating and wielding scimitars, metal poles, knives, and slingshots. They were inhuman berserkers, fueled by Hashish and Islam. They began to savagely pummel and stab the commandos, and a couple of them even grabbed the leader and threw him off deck head first, giving him severe brain damage. The IDF troopers were eventually forced to whip out their pistols and shoot the batshit savages and drive them off, so they could regroup. Then, the savage Turks regrouped and started charging the IDF commandos as they advanced towards the bridge, giving unearthly shrieks and foaming at the mouths. The commandos then shot into the charging mass of hate, emptying clip after clip upon the Jihadis. The drug-fuelled fanatical Turks had almost superhuman endurance, taking dozens of rounds each to bring down. When it was over, the commandos took the ship over and stopped it. The IDF then attacked the other five ships. This time, some of the activists formed human chains to try to stop the troops, and got a healthy and well-deserved dose of beatings, tear-gas, and electric shocks. commandos beat up and tased the rowdy ones, and cuffed everyone. Once under IDF control, the ships were taken to Ashdod, and everyone on board was stuffed into comfort boxes. For several days, before being given the boot to their home countries, the Turks enjoyed the best of traditional Israeli hospitality: ruthless interrogation by security pimps, shitty food, constant video surveillance, dirty clothes, and the Jewish version of Bubba.
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Although Turkey and Israel are key US allies in the Middle East and had played nice together in the past, the relationship had become strained in recent years. In 2009, the Turkish ambassador to Israel had been summoned to explain himself after Turkey had begun to air anti-Semitic propaganda in the form of Soap Operas with Jews killing Palestinians. To shame him, the Israeli diplomats made the Turkish guy sit on a kids's chair and refused to place a Turkish flag next to the Israeli one. This was akin to making the Turks look like lesser 'men' invited to dinner but seated at the kids' table. In a game of tit-for-tat, the Turks then pulled out of the planned joint US/Israeli/Turkish war games causing the US to pull the plug on the whole thing.
What is really happening
Islamists are slowly gaining power in Turkey due to long-term population trends. Current elected Government, being Islamist, needed to create some kind of propaganda event to gain moral upper hand against the military elites who are trying to keep their country secular. Hence freedom flotilla, another symptom that secular, European-ish Turkey is about to go bye-bye.
Now before you get your ass full of schadenfreude, mind that the rest of Europe is well underway down that same drain.
Israel's BFF, Murka was all up in the shit and issued a statement that they were working to understand the raid. In response, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu cancelled his meeting with President Obama set for the White House on Tuesday, deciding to head home to deal with an ongoing drama. Prolly a good idea, since this whole shitstorm has totally ruined Black Jesus' Memorial Day BBQ.
Turkey immediately recalled its ambassador to Israel, calling the incident tantamount to piracy, and canceled a youth soccer match planned between Turkey and Israel in Tel Aviv. Turkey also canceled three future joint military exercises with Israel and demanded Israel be punished. Greece suspended a military exercise with Israel and postponed a visit by Israel's air force chief. This highlights Israel's masterpiece of IRL trolling in which they pissed off Greece and Turkey so much that Greece and Turkey put aside centuries of faggoty bickering and agreed that they hate Israel moar than they hate each other!
Since the majority of the terrorist-huggers on the boats were Turkish, about 10,000 butthurt Turks marched on Israel's embassy in Istanbul shouting slogans dissing Israel. The protesters earlier Monday tried storm the consulate building but were blocked by police.
As word spread of the raid, flashmob protests started to hit the streets of major cities around the world and Palestinians around the West Bank and Gaza started going nuts. It remains to be seen how strongly the larger Arab world will react to the pwnage, but Hezbollah is already calling for blood. Arab-Israeli meembers of the Knesset also chimed in.
—MK Mohammed Barakeh, to Defense Minister Ehud Barak
—MK Taleb al-Sana
—MK Haneen Zoubi
—MK Ahmed Tibi
As per usual, a hilarious edit war immediately broke out on TOW leading to a complete lockdown of the page by the Wikipedia Jews. But the talk page battle raged on between terrorist huggers and Jewish editors. And shitter was all atwitter with #freedomflotilla, #flotilla and #gaza trending off the charts.
It should be noted that catapults are no laughing matter. You can put an eye out with one of them.
—ED:IRC, on Freedom Flotilla
End of the lulz?
On December 7th, 2010 Israel agreed to apologize and pay moneys to the Turks . Fucking pussies. Although, the same day Egyptian Intelligence discovered that Israel is attacking Egypt with man-eating sharks, which partly makes up for the loss .
A total of 9 evil Turks died aboard the Flotilla: Ibrahim Bilgen (61, An Islamist politician who, at the tender age of 61, preferred 72 virgins over his graying wife), Ali Haydar Bengi (39, Leader of the terrorist group Aydinlik Yarinlar Icin hak ve Ozgurlukler Egitim Kultur ve Dayanisma Dernegi), Cevdet Kiliclar (38, A Pali-hugging reporter, and a website manager for the IHH), Furkan Dogan (19, A Turk with U.S. citizenship who wrote that he wanted to be a martyr. Wish granted), Cetin Topcuoglu (53, A Tae Kwon Do champion. Nuff said), Necdet Yildirim (32, IHH pimp who also competed in the roughest games at the Istanbul sports center to achieve martyrdom), Fahri Yaldiz (43, Former security guard for the IHH, and a bodyguard for the mayor of Adiyaman. Nuff said), Cengiz Songur (47, An everyday merchant whose only notability is having been an IHH beserker), and Cengiz Akyuz (42, Also an IHH terrorist, nothing else about him worth talking about). Notice how the Turks whine that IDF commandos indiscriminately fired onto the ship, and shot defenseless people, yet all the dead were Turkish males of fighting age aboard a ship with people from dozens of countries, as well as women and children. Dozens more activists, many who had almost fatal wounds, were saved when they were airlifted to Israel, and were taken into hospitals despite their clear issues with Jews. The Turks then tried to show Israel how angry it was by sending a doctor to peek over the shoulders of Jewish doctors, saying that "We won't leave them to the mercy of anyone". Israel eventually sent them home for the Turks to take care of them.
Seven IDF warriors men were also wounded during the raid by excessive beating and stabbing. Some Kosher Boys participating in the raid also had to be treated for psychological problems due to the evil looks and drug-fuelled rage they encountered aboard the supposed love boat. Of course, those Peace Activists deny it despite overwhelming video evidence of IDF casualties, which would hint that the IDF attacked its own men and poofed all those improvised weapons out of thin air.
If at first you don't succeed, try try again!
Rachel Corrie was a stupid Americunt bitch who got smashed by an IDF bulldozer as she desperately tried to stop it from demolishing a terrorists home. To commemorate her, the Flotilla named one of its rustbucket cargo ships the MV Rachel Corrie. It was due to sail with them, but thanks to sabotage by the Israeli secret service it got delayed, and when it sailed again it was all alone. This vessel came straight from Ireland, and instead of Turks, everyone on board was Irish. Now, it was Ireland's turn to flabble about its precious ship, but that didn't stop the Israelis. They forced the ship to surrender after threatening it with a giant floating bulldozer.
List of items on the Flotilla the Israelis have seized
- Cement - The Israelis have taken the Turkish cement and are using it to construct new settlements in the West Bank. Good for them!
- Stones - Hey, you need something to beat the brains out of those women who refuse to wear the Burqas
- Rocks - They would have all be thrown at Israel anyway.
- Seeds and nuts.
- Dried fruit -
Then again who the fuck wants to eat dried fruit?Fuck you, Turkish apricots are fucking delicious.
- Goats - Sought out by Palestinians and Turks as a means of sexual release.
- Donkeys - Same as above.
- Instant coffee
- Iron and Steel - Perfect for making
bunkers and reinforced rocket emplacementsdaycare centers, hospitals, and baby milk factories.
- Razors - Perfect for cutting a Jew's throat, I mean those early-morning hairs! Wait, does Islam even allow shaving?
- A4 paper - Shit is dangerous... you could paper cut a helpless Jew to death with it.
- Slingshots - The perfect gift for a Palestinian child.
- Ballistic Vests - Apparently, they didn't work.
- Night-vision goggles - Only to help the ship see through the dark, not for Hamas.
- Gas Masks - Either to help to poo poo Palestinians withstand IDF chemical attacks (despite the fact Israel never used gas weapons before, the Jews have this thing with poison gas), or to help shield themselves from the fumes as they exterminate the Jews.
For more see here
The raid also generated great drama among the legal scholars. Some of them claim that it was a perfectly legal international maritime blockade enforcing, similar to blockades of Cuba and Yugoslavia. Those two were enforced in international waters without much drama.
Legal scholars such as Alan Dershowitz (ah-tJew) and Israeli government lawyers said that enforcing a blockade in international waters was confirmed legal by the San Remo Manual on International Law Applicable to Armed Conflicts at Sea, adopted in 1994 by the International Institute of Humanitarian Law after a series of round table discussions by naval and legal experts who also concluded that if you are still reading this sentence you are lame-ass virgin faggot.
Others claim that the well-established international customary law of letz blamethejew provides a great excuse for another Holocaust.
The Jew-nosed Nazi professor denies there is an armed conflict between Israel and Hamas (@2:24), thus giving his bullshit argument wings. Except for that, the vid is more boring than watching a turtle marathon.
A bunch of Turks stereotypically brought knives to a gun fight. UPDATE!!!: King David actually apologized Turkey IRL. Probably Black Jesus got fed up and forced him to do so.
- The Freedom Flotilla site
- Free Gaza @shitter
- Free Gaza's flickr
- Free Gaza Facebook group
- IDF Facebook page
- The Free Gaza Movement
- Free Gaza Youtube
- IDF's Youtube
- IDF @shitter
- IDF's flickr
- Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs
- The IDF Site
- Israeli convoy raid: What went wrong - BBC News tries to throw dirt at the Israeli heroes.
- Freedom Tortilla
- Gaza War
- Rachel Corrie
- Victim Complex
- Trolling IRL
- France (surrended to both Turkey and Israel)
Freedom Flotilla is part of a series on
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