Not to be confused with Freeweb
Freewebs (now not so free)is a website that provides webhosting as well as webbuilding, blogging and gay porn utilities, but sadly lacks any spellchecking features. Imagine combining livejournal with dreamhost and then taking out anything that is good about it, and you get Freewebs. Web pages hosted here tend to be made by n00bs who don't have the skillz to learn to make webpages. What this means is that most sites rival MySpace in the flashy colours and stupid crap. Also, buttrape.
Once you sign up for a Freewebs page, your inbox is automatically spammed with offers of penis enlargement, cheap sales on XXS condoms and others of the sort that is useful to the average freewebs user.
Free hosting features
Freewebs offers these free features for no cost (thats right, free)
- Easy site builder: So that no work is required to make these useless websites
- Easy to use file uploader - At least 100 times slower than using FTP, and usually requires reloading (and in some browers, re-logging in) between each file.
- Photo albums: Display your collection of furry pornography for others to see
- Blog: Livejournal - Features = Freewebs blogging service
- Site promotion: Freewebs has a forum for saying how k3w1 your shit website is to other fucktarded lusers. The sites seriously get hits and positive guestbook comments even if there is no content
- Web Polls: Would you like to see me in:
- Web commerce - What's better than a useless website? One that sells useless shit. Web commerce lets you sell stuff or accept donations via PayPal, therefore allowing for a lot of camwhoring from the 16-year-old girls who use Freewebs.
- Web forms - Like webpolls except that it can have text boxes, etc., and sends submissions to the user's inbox. Freewebs lets a user have 30 submissions a month on a free account, which he/she definitely won't use. If someone writes a stupid article on ED about their crappy Freewebs site, use this to spam the shit out of them with old memes and your mom jokes
- Guestbook - "HI OMG" "OMG HI" "LOL OMG" "BUY FREE VIAGRA PENIS 10X SIZE !!!!"
- Unlimited bandwidth - Physically impossible, not that anyone on Freewebs would need it
Freewebs paid features
Not that it makes sense, but these are Freewebs features that you have to pay for:
- DNS - This is what lets you use a domain name
- Domain name - What you need to hide the fact you are hosted on a shitty webhost
- FTP - Quick way to upload; too 1337 for free service (all other webhosts, free or not, have this)
- PHP and MySQL - Come on, anyone who could even write a simple guestbook in php wouldn't use Freewebs, let alone pay for it
- Space - Want to store more hawt photos of yourself? Buy more space
- Dignity - Oops, that's a mistake. You can't even buy that when you host at Freewebs
What you will find on Freewebs
- "OMH hI 2 U, WELCOMe To MY WebSize That I maDe"
- 16-year-old girls
- Engrish-speaking dipshits
- Links to shitty forums
- 12 year old boys and their blogs
- A empty website with ads encouraging you to donate
- Invalid links to free games
- What should be done to ALL freewebs.
- Tanoshinde - Full of foshatas
- Fake Sun - The sun is fake...
- ~*~*~HI INTERNET~*~*~ - Goatse's cool website
- Comic Kid Comics - Thinks we care
offercopy and paste
- Come anytime for a tea party wit... - Another 16-year-old girl (there are a lot of them on freewebs) with a fat fetish
- NG BBS Gold Mine - One site on Freewebs that doesn't suck, Newgrounds drama archive
- Cheetah's Cage - Home of a furry faggot who rants about homosexual's rights in font size=5
- WE AMS THE RUSSIANS - wut
- Funking - Is die fun en uuu? .
- Kugyay - A cool Warriors RP
|Featured article August 12, 2006|
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