Furmeets are unholy Satanic rituals that usually culminate in wild, greasy orgies with someone's dog and a large group of old, overweight men whining over a two pound burrito at Taco Del Mar. Furmeets are the only occasion a fur will actually venture outside IRL, making it an interesting, yet horrific spectacle for an outside observer.
How to spot a Furmeet
Furmeets are very easy to confuse with a trekkie meet, though they tend to take place in a more promiscuous location, like McDonald's or in front of the local porn store. If you think it may be a furmeet and not a more benign (but no less dorky) Otaku-grouping or trekkie meet, look for the following three signs:
- Is anyone wearing tails or ears? Otakus might wear the latter, but you'd be hard pressed to find some Naruto fanboy wearing a fox tail...made of dildos.
- Is anyone actually doing anything? Furs can't adapt to the spooky world beyond the Internets, which leaves them all transfixed in place like a fat cow staring into headlights.
- Is anyone eying passing dogs or cuddling stuffed animals? If so, it's advised you call your internet lawyer and sue for what happens to that poor puppy next.
What to do if you spot a Furmeet
If destiny has led you to one of these perverted Disney discos, have no fear. This is your opportunity to ensure possession of 72 year-old virgins in your afterlife. Like all self-respecting organizations, IRL bans furries on sight, and the mods will reward you for your ambitious nature. If you are low on ammunition, you may use the congregation as a landing strip, or simply kill it with fire.
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