|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Behold, a new lolcow for the ever-growing DA lolcow herd.
FurrMetalAlchemist (or Yuki Yamada if you're fucking stupid) is a total noob, a furry, and a MSPaint artist who may forget to breathe on occasion. When she's not making shit-tastic MS Paint comics, she can be usually found posting journals including Christmas presents, toilet rape, masturbating to anime pics when she was young, and more recently, the discovery of this article that provides lulz for trolls, facepalms for tartlets and concerns for an already questionable future for humanity.
It should also be told that Furr has probably never heard of spellcheck because she can't spell for shit, misspelling simple words. In a now famous reply, she misspelled "moar" as "mroe", the word becoming somewhat of a trademark feature when used to describe her. It should be noted that FurrMetalAlchemist is a combination of Furry and Full Metal Alchemist, not Engrish as one may assume.
- 1 Furfag's First Drama
- 2 Fame in process
- 3 Lulzcow status GET
- 4 ZOMG Grounded!
- 5 Birthday Lulz
- 6 The Aftermath of her Lulz
- 7 Discovery Of Her Page
- 8 She's not giving up!
- 9 The triumphant return of the furfag
- 10 Her Contest
- 11 Epic Troll: Humanity Just Got Better
- 12 Her Comic
- 13 Furfag Metal Alchemist's Words of Wisdom
- 14 Gallery of lulz
- 15 Tributes
- 16 See Also
- 17 External Links
Furfag's First Drama
The first of a series of lulzy journals. Furr basically bawws about how plz accounts are getting more watches than her and believes no one is watching her because she has assburgers, proceeding to call every tartlet who wasn't watching her a racist.
Please keep in mind that no matter how lulzy this journal is, this is quite possibly the least lulzy journal that has been made so far.
Fame in process
On January 9, her status rose from random drama-llama to potential lulzcow.
This was the journal that shows how much of an ungrateful little furfag bitch FurrMetalAlchemist is. Not only did she get an Xbox 360, a device that's probably unknown in places in Africa, she also calls her parents dumb in moonspeak (incorrectly, as well) and fails to realize how hard her parents worked to get enough money to buy her all of the things she received. One can only hope that her Xbox360 gets the Red Ring Of Death. She also BAWWWWs and says that her life is "so fucking miserable because my parents got me nice gifts that I didn't want!" This journal also started a shitstorm of angry comments understandably made by other deviants. She apologized shortly after, but the lulz didn't stop there!
Lulzcow status GET
On January 13, she posted a next bullshit journal that makes you question her intelligence(as if we didn't question it already).
This journal is where the shit started to hit the fan. Before this Journal, FurrMetalAlchemist had a mere 500 or so pageviews. Afterward, however...
That's right, On January 13th, 2009, FurrMetalAlchemist's Journal was the most popular Journal on DA, even more popular then Teruchan's weeaboo pantyshot cumdumpster anime girls with giant tits journal.
Shocked at the bullshit literally reeking from that journal? Don't feel bad if you do.
As of Friday, FurrMetalAlchemist has been grounded for a month because apparently it's everyone who sent her a lolwut pear's fault. Because she decided to stay up all night (on a school night) deleting the posts (which she could have done tomorrow after school) she was unable to get up for school on time, quarrelled with her mother for not waking her up, (ALARM CLOCK MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU USE IT?) called her own mother a saggy vagina and got grounded. After reading that, it's totally the tartlets' fault for doing it, right? They somehow used mind control powers and made her call her mom a vagina, amirite?
Sneaking Back On?
Contrary to anyone's thoughts of her being an obedient girl (and if you did think so, you're fucking stupid), Furr has been seen online DURING her period of being grounded.
Observe closely (below):
Then, when people caught on to her bullshit (right):
After her month-long ban (which really wasn't a ban since she snuck back on) she posted an especially lulzy journal almost as if to honour her birthday.
Once again, Furr fails epically as:
- You can't have fair and dark hair
- It is impossible for Asians to have big eyes (srsly, these are Asians we're talking about).
- It would not matter what name she used to introduce herself to the Azn, he would find out eventually.
- Changing your name to a azn name does not mean that you are an Azn.
- Just because he's Asian does NOT mean he likes manga and animu.
- She still has not bought an alarm clock despite the fact that not having an alarm clock is part of the reason why she got grounded.
- She has not bought an alarm clock despite having $400.
- The tartlets cannot be blamed for her being grounded
The Aftermath of her Lulz
In a similar vein to Crestfrend, several deviants decided that Furr was too lulzy to not make plz accounts about her and her trademark word, "mroe". Surprisingly, she had no problems with it at first because she thought it was due to her being funny. Don't get us wrong, she is funny (although not in the way she wants to be). Her opinion, however would change, when she discovered her article.
Fake Fans and other random lulz
At this point in time, extraction of lulz from this lolcow was high, so a particular person decided to make a fake fan account called lulz among the DA community., which caused a good amount of
The troll even went as far as making a fake fanclub for the lulzcow, called but sadly, it only has a few members and has become forgotten.
So, what are you waiting for? Do your part and support the epic lolcow!
The lulziest part about this is the fact that Furr is DEFENDING her and saying that she's not a troll, (as shown in the journal below).
Another possible troll lulz is unknown.has posted on Furr's page, but whether she'll fall for it too and, maybe, create even mroe
Discovery Of Her Page
Just like all other lolcows before her who have one, she found out about her ED page.
Despite the fact that Furr has had a place on ED since before she was grounded, and despite the fact that links to the page were often posted on her DeviantART, she didn't discover it until yesterday, February 19, 2009. Outraged, she posted a journal full of BAWWWW meant to make everyone trolling her feel bad. The only thing this journal resulted in was MROE trolling.
She also admitted that she masturbated to pictures of animu when she was young, doubling the amount of lulz in this already lulzy journal and probably did more mental damage to every single person who happened to read the journal than if she decided to post Rule 34 artwork of Full Metal Alchemist. Then again, Rule 34 has proven its worth of ruining people's childhood.
Soon after posting the lulzy journal Furr went to rape her ED page, which was quickly reverted by good ol' Mysterybot. Upon checking the page history EDitors found Furr's ED page and filled it with delicious pain series. Furr's userpage is here, you should go leave her nice things, because she's such a nice person.
You should also link this article on her page multiple times for great justice.
After threatening to become an hero in her journal Furr showed no activity for several days. It was widely believed that she really did become an hero. And then she finally decided to rear her ugly head. Because of this she's has earned an even bigger lolcow status, because now we know she's an attention whore too!
She's not giving up!
After uploading another crap-tastic MSPaint comic, Furr commented on it saying that she's not going to give up:
As expected, the tartlets did not take her seriously and merely told her that her cries of "I'm not giving up!" have been heard from many different people before and continued with their trolling regime.
The triumphant return of the furfag
It had been a long time since anyone had seen any sign of the little lolcow, causing a massive chain of un-devwatching from people who believed that she had finally taken care of that wrist problem, meaning that the spectacle was over.
But then, on July 7, the lolcow decided that the show must go on. Furr decided to post another TL;DR journal about epic fail, more importantly trying to fight back at the trolls by revealing that she has an ego that rivals Chase's by believing in an unwritten law of DeviantART and trying to get her mail-to-order azn wet dream, who's too busy lovin' the non-fat white wimmenz long time to notice her.
After she posted it, the hearts of the few random tartlets who were still camping out on her DA page on the slight hope that she would return jumped for joy and the pants of those either dedicated or completely bored trolls still pa-trolling creamed themselves IRL. We obviously don't know if that happened to their hearts and pants, but one thing's for sure, both parties wasted no time flaming the little toilet fucker to dust and spreading the word to their friends, which caused a mass re-devwatching spree (because, like certain things, journals of lolcows on DA travel fast through word of mouth).
Furr finally decided to post details of her contest on September 7. The thing that is so lulzy about this seemingly normal tardlet journal is that rule #2 turns into a TL;DR rant about all the flaming that has happened to her in the past and how she almost killed herself. Here's the TL;DR summary for #2: You can't draw Effemay negatively or else you'll be disqualified from my super awesome contest. You guys don't understand how whiny I am and how much I've been going through. I didn't think you guys would do this.
Epic Troll: Humanity Just Got Better
On September 23rd,2009, 'Lizz' posted 7 deviations that are screenshots of her journals with the names of the Homunculi MSpaint'd on top of them, the names being respectable to the mood of the journal. The artist comments in each deviantion had one word in it and all together, the resulting sentence is "YOU RETARDS WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING, WON'T YOU?".
She then posted a journal calling all her trolls retards, revealing that she really WASN'T a 17-year-old weeaboo, and declared the whole thing an elaborately planned and executed hoax.
All the trolls stalking her/his/its dA page were shocked and butthurt at being trolled by what seemed to be a particularly stupid TARTlet. They immediately either turned tail and ran back to MySpace or scrambled to declare that they had REALLY KNOWN ALL ALONG that Furr was a troll and claimed that they TOTALLY WEREN'T RETARDED ENOUGH TO BELIEVE HER YOU GUYS. It doesn't make them any less retarded for squatting in front of Furr's pooper all this time (10 fucking months, srsly guiz) and waiting for the next batch of shit to come along. They were
probably definitely asking for it. In the journal, she also reveals that , who was thought to be a troll, and the Homunculi she featured in her comic were actually in on the devious plot, making the trolling extra lulzy and cunning.
Furr remained with the account for a few weeks, basking in the glow of comments from fellow trolls who considered her a hero and conferring forgiveness on those who came to apologize for their idiocy. Eventually she disappeared from the account, and the trolls continued to leave comments about how awesome she was. Things look good for the future, however:
—"Furr", about her future on dA
Tl;dr: 'Lizz' raped everyone with her too-retarded-to-be-true journals and comics, and is now in the running for the title of Most Epic dA Troll Ever. Having kept at it for about 10 months, though, it's debatable whether or not she/he/it has a life.
Her comic is called "Furr Metal Alchemist". If you guessed that it was Full Metal Alchemist but with furries, then congrats Captain Obvious, you're correct. The originality of this comic rivals something that Blazesonic would have made and the quality of the art can be compared to some people's artwork, but never to the artwork of those few artists in the top 10% of Deviantart.
Effemay (GET IT? LIKE FMA? LOLOLOL) A shitty teal looking fan character, who is Edward and Alphonse's long lost furry sister from the furry dimension. She somehow knows alchemy also, and her and Ninaxander team up to defeat all the homunculi in the furry dimension.
After 20 something pages of MS-Paint faggotry, Furr realized that every comic needs bad guys, along with a final boss. Sadly, Furr was too much of a fat lazy toilet-fucking cunt to make up her own and decided to choose a few other tartlets avatars and make characters based off of their current avatars at that time. This caused the lulz factor to rise even higher as Furr failed miserably at copying and tracing icons. It was later revealed in Furr's last journal that all the Homunculi were in on Furr's epic trolling of ED.
On an interesting note, a few of the deviants have gotten nicknames from them and even plz accounts made in their honor.
Wrath: A very pointy spider who was "sealed off" in the beginning because it was a Gonterman-like attempt to make fun of the deviant for showing her the harsh truth.
Greed: A giant hamburger wearing a hat. Considering that there's a fat abomination who eats everything in sight, it is a mystery how this one is still in the comic. Based of the deviant
Lust: A TV with a pair of legs, probably designed due to the fact that Furr dreams of being able to fuck someone while watching her favorite animu someday. Based off of the deviant
Gluttony: A fat, hairy phallus whose favorite past-time is sword fellatio. Based of the deviant
Sloth: The head of a loli being fused together with a saw due to either a DNA splicing experiment gone wrong or the result of a pretty cool guy fucking up a child's life for the lulz. Based off of the deviant
Pride: The resident pimp of the comic, wearing a tux and a trilby that looks like a top hat. He wields his pimp stick which he named the Frogstaff, which can summon his crackwhores to wreck shit up. Based off of the deviant
CAUTION: Fail ahead.
Furfag Metal Alchemist's Words of Wisdom
— FurrMetalAlchemist, showing off her geographic skills.
Gallery of lulz
The first tribute to this lulzcow
Made by an anonymous tartlet:
This was a triumph I'm making a note here LOL WUT It's hard to overstate my satisfaction Toilet Seat Raping
We laugh at who we must, because we can for the good of all of us except for the ones who are grounded
But there's no sense laughing towards every imbecile You just keep on trying until you run out of money And the lulz gets done and you make a neat lolfest
For the people who are not grounded
I'm not even sympathetic I'm being so mean right now Even though you bitched about everything, and drove me to insanity
And lied into groundation And threw every piece into a insult As they burned I loled because I was so happy to learn you were up until 4 AM! Now these journal entries make a wonderful roflcopter And we're out of BS, we're laughing on time So I'm glad you got burned Think of all the things we learned for the people that are not grounded
Go ahead and leave DevianTART I think you'd prefer to stay inside Maybe you'll find someone else to help comfort you
Maybe Gary Oak
THAT WAS JOKE, HAHA, FAT CHANCE (but do try and tell us how it turns out)
Anyway this lulz is great, it's so delicious and funny
Look at me still talking, when there's trolling to do
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you I've LOL WUTTING to do, there are idiots to make fun of For the people who are not grounded
And believe me I am not grounded
I'm doing science and I'm not grounded
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm not grounded
While you are dying I'll be not grounded (and rofling)
And when you're dead I'll be not grounded
Not fucking grounded
A 2nd tribute to this lulzcow
By an anonymous person.
You found the internet and fucked it up with your shit and lolcow ways that suck. Your assburgers and toilet rape, make us lol and want MROE.
Shut the fuck up you stupid wapanese bitch, no one wants to hear about your saggy vagina. No intelligent human would give away so much money to a guy she's wet for, when he's retarded just by knowing you.
Get off Deviantart, you fuck it up, your almost as bad as Morgan-the-Rabbit, you two should hook up and suck on cocks.
The obligatory Bel-Air
Now this is the diatribe all about how
I got fame on my dA account
And I'd like to take a minute; just listen away
I'll tell you how I became the Biggest Bitch-Queen of dA.
In west Okinawa I was born and raised
On the internet, there I spend my time in a daze.
Chillin' out, bawwwwing, and lolling all night
and getting into a long journal fight.
When I met up with some trolls who were put in a rage;
Started causing trouble on my userpage.
I got in ten dozen fights and my dad was pissed.
"I'm gonna make you sleep with the toilet seat, little miss."
I whined for teh luv and when it seemed near
it turned out imaginary; it just wasn't here!
If anything, I thought that this site was poo,
but I though, "Naw, forget it. More comics for j00!"
I got onto the site at a time (kinda late)
And when I got there, I found that people just hate
My pageviews are rising and my artwork is gay,
Now I'll sit on my throne as the Queen of dA.
|FurrMetalAlchemist is part of a series on Aspies.||[Sperg out]|
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