North Macedonia

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North Macedonia is the name various state governments have adopted for the territory occupied by nomenclaturally confused quasi-Bulgarian settlers calling themselves "Macedonians". These co-called "Macedonians", or rather Fyromians, believe that regular contact with the magic dirt left behind by the ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon confers kinship with Alexander the Great and his ethnic Greek countrymen upon them and entitlement to "Macedonian" as an ethnonym.

What is Macedonia(n)?

Geographical Macedonia

The meaning of "Macedonia" has changed constantly over time, so no one agrees on where Macedonia is. Geographical Macedonia is divided into three regions:

  • Vardar Macedonia (Fyromia)
  • Pirin Macedonia (a part of Bulgaria)
  • Aegean Macedonia (a part of Greece)

Fyromians claim to be Macedonians simply because they squat in Vardar Macedonia. Greeks hate when Fyromian called themselves Macedonian since they're afraid of Fyromia annexing Aegean Macedonia and becoming real Macedonia and the Greeks are too poor and retarded to figure out how to stop that.

Fyromians also claim to be the descendants of Alexander the Great, but this is certifiable bullshit. Alexander the Great was Aegean Macedonian, and the Fyromian ethic group didn't exist back then. If any Fyromian is somehow a descendant of Alexander, then it's because Alexander raped some poor Slav girl that wandered too far away from mother Russia. This is still dubious, however, because Alexander didn't even fuck females until he invaded Persia and banged their princess for the lulz.

History

Fyromia doesn't have any ancient history, since Alexander's Macedonia doesn't have any connection to false, Fyromian Macedonia. Fyromian history begun when the Bulgarians and Serbians invaded Byzantine lands, including Macedonia, and claimed them as their own. After ousting the Turks from the Balkans, Serbia, Bulgaria, and Greece disagreed on who owned Macedonia and went to war. Fyromia was conquered by the Serbs, and it became a part of Yugoslavia. Later, Joseph Tito turned Fyromia from a part of Serbia into constitute republic of Yugoslavia. Tito named this republic "Macedonia" in order to troll Greece.

After the breakup of Yugoslavia, Greece was pissed, since Fyromia was still calling itself Macedonia and it was using a knockoff of the Greek Macedonian flag, so Greece blocked all trade to Fyromia. Greece intimidated Fyromia into changing its flag, and the trade ban was lifted.

In 2018, the Leftist governments of Greece and Fyromia agreed to accept "North Macedonia" as Fyromia's new name in hopes of uniting all nations under the EU. This resulted in massive RAGE in the non-elitist portions of the populations of both countries and the downfall of Alexis Tsipras' Syriza government in the 2019 Greek parliamentary election.

Albanian shitz

In 1999, rebellious Albanian after having lots of buttsex with the 'mericunts formed the National Liberation Army in order to give Albanians in Fyromia greater rights and bigger mosques. In 2001, these Albanians rose up and started attacking Fyromians. The hostilities ended with the UN saving their asses from Arachinovo and the Ohrid Agreement, but the Albanians basically succeeded in giving what they wanted. Albanian became one of Fyromia's official languages and making Albanians equals in the government. Although the matter is considered resolved, conflicts arise every now and then.

Fyromia and the Internet

Quoted from Wikipedia:

Well my Bulgarian FRIEND i really can't understand how you the son of SLAVS who came in Balkans in 7-th century our decade call yourselve ETNIC MACEDONIAN! The only etnic macedonians are the so-called VLACHS or Elino-Vlachs or macedo-romanians. In greece up to 2 milions and in Balkans up to 3 milions. So the FYROMIAN AND GREEK propaganda will soon disapear. Look at this Grammar Book and then ask your self where was your Slavo-macedonian name in 1813. Bye bye !

Quoted from Urban Dictionary:

My name is Goran and my mother tounge is Slavomacedonian, we are Slavomacedonians who are descended from the Slavic invasions of Northern Greece in 700 AD, and we have nothing to do with the Hellenistic king of Phiilip and his son Alexander who were from the Greek kingdom of Macedonia, we came 1000 years after Alexander the great and his conquests which spread Greek culture throughout the known world.

Angry Fyromians

Quoted from Wikipedia:

you really classify yourself as a Macedonian you wish!! Alexander the great spoke Macedonian not greek he burnt greek cities to the ground you are a dirty ass greek scientists did and ethnicity test on ancient Macedonians and greeks and found out that they are 2 different nations and guess what the greeks are closely related to the Ethiopians the modern Macedonians shared many chromosomes to the ancient Macedonians you just go fuck yourself you dirty ass whore

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