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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
We're allied with Al Quaida. We've always been allied with Al Quaida.
|This article needs a serious clean up|
Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi or fondly known by the people of Libya as Dafi Duck
is was perhaps one of the most batshit insane Arabs since Saddam and a pretty cool guy.
Despite the handicap of his weird, craggy, droopy face that made him look a bit like a lion being fucked by Bob Dylan's grandpa, he ruled Libya since the 1970's, but is now just short of an hero status. He is best known for the IRL trolling of Americunts, Britfags and the cheese eating surrender monkeys. The butthurt rebels that killed Gaddafi have conquered the capital Tripoli as of August 2011, so it's
only a matter of times up before the final defeat of for Qaddafi.
Muammar al-Gaddafi (not to be confused with Myuran Sukumaran, the convicted Australian drug smuggler) was spawned from the hairy arse of a camel in a Bedouin tent in the desert, near the town of Squirt, in 1942. His family belongs to a small tribe of Arabized Bourbon. The Qaddadfa (which is Arabic for 'I kill you') are stock herders with holdings in the Hun Oasis, which they stole from the Germans during World War II.
He was then subject to years of torture and fun at the military academy, mainly at the hands of an American tutor known only as 'Ronald,' which may be the cause of his extreme butthurt toward all things 'Murka. The academy was located at Bengazi, which ironically is now the rebel stronghold.
After his studies in Libya, he pursued further studies in Eurabia. The rumors circulating that he studied at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst are entirely true. The Academy denies this, however, as they don't want Prince Harry to think he went to the same school as a sandnigger.
Rise To Power and Going Mad With Pow(d)er
On 1 September 1969, a small group of soldiers led by Gaddafi staged a bloodless (except for some anal hemorrhaging) coup d'etat against King ShitPiss while he was in Turkey for medical treatment, having his anus resleaved. Following a troublesome acquisition of some small boys in Morocco, his nephew, the Crown Prince Sayyid Hoi-sin ar-Rider Al-kyder ass-S-anus-si, had been formally deposed by the revolutionary army officers and put under house arrest; they abolished the monarchs and proclaimed the new Great Libyan Socialist People's Republic Gaddafi - the Libyan dick-potater savior!
After attempting to export his shitty revolution to the Arab countries around him in 1977, Gaddafi decided it would be best to bomb some huts across the border in Egypt. When that failed to elicit a response, he decided it would be a good idea to then order his troops and tanks to drive across the border, which quickly turned into a sandy reenactment of the battle of France.
When Egypt ordered thirty times the amount of troops Gaddafi sent across the border to blitzkrieg into Libya and hang Gaddafi from a lamppost, the Israeli Jews saw how Egypt killing a majorly anti-American dicktater would make them lose funding from Washington, quickly bribed Arab representatives to suck Egypt's dick to get them to place the troops they diverted to invade Libya back on their side of the border. It was unclear how they could tell where the fucking border is, as the whole place is a desert shithole.
After this utter failure, Gaddafi decided to instead declare himself the king of Africa and promptly invaded Chad to expand his now pan-African ideology to the French niggers to the south of him. After over a decade of on and off war, France got sick of his shit and sent troops and tanks to Chad to ban him, but the troops got distracted by a JewTube video of a 13 year old girl singing about Friday, and are thought to be fapping somewhere in the desert still, assuming they didn't forget to drink while fapping, leading to death from dehydration. After failing to spread his revolution by invasion, he decided to do shit the western way, and started to murder his own people and blaming others for it, as the one thing he grudgingly admired about America was their ability to make dissenters vanish properly and not having their bodies turn up in a hotel room somewhere in eastern Europe, bound, gagged and with a bullet wound from a 9mm pistol to the back of their head. His antics caught the eye of comedian Bill Cosby and they became best friends.
There are no rebels
The truth is that in reality, there are only about 10 rebels. The "footage" you see on television is all stock from about six months ago, and the only reason NATO is trying to take over his country is because of the oil. Kenya, for example, has been even worse for even longer, yet nobody gives a shit about them because they
have no oil are niggers. (edit: There is however another very good reason why nato doesn't want to be in Kenya) However, because Libya has oil, as soon as a couple of people rebelled, NATO jumped in like a redneck ploughing his wife. If you look, you'll see the vast majority of Libyan residents support Gaddafi, or don't really care. This is proved by interviews and crowd support featured on news programs closer to the area of Libya.
Civil War and Military intervention in 2011
After this blunder, Al Qaeda thought it would be better to send some African niggers to "rebel" a bit, which made Libyans everywhere in the country who otherwise didn't give a fuck about the fact that fundamentalists were given power over them promptly split down the middle to start protesting on both sides (pro-Gaddafi and anti). Soon after, the rebels broke into armories and declared "AK-47's for everybody!", at which point Gaddafi met with his supporters and told them to "Take these weapons and fucking kill everyone who does not love me!" and he almost did! In less than over a week, he launched a counter-offensive and took the upper hand. Western faggots, seeing their plan was about to fail, decided to lobby protocol 1973 which is code for "let's bomb the shit out of Libya and overthrow Gaddafi by helping the batshit insane rebels". The only nations to oppose this humanitarian intervention were Russia (because Putin was busy hunting British agents) and China (because China is like Libya, but bigger and without oil and camels). With government armor, aircraft, and weaponry being bombed by NATO, the rebels consolidated their hold on the eastern half of the country, after which there was a stalemate with slow gains. Recently, as of August 2011, the rebels have conquered the capital city Tripoli, and stand poised to defeat the final boss and beat the game.
The REAL motives for the intervention:
- Get the arabfag gold to sell it for jew gold
- Testing armament in advance for WW3
- Try to show off to the world by bombing a defenceless country in the middle of a civil war hoping that will make forget your embarrassing defeats in the past
It's remarkable to note that France (!!!) was very furious about invading Libya when we all know that Frenchies are forfeiting faggots, but little does anybody know that it was actually up to Sarkozy's will.
What You don't know about the Colonel Gaddafi
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Facts the Media Forgot to Mention
(a) You failed to mention Libya’s huge oil reserves.
(b) You failed to mention Libya’s free health care under Gaddafi.
(c) You failed to mention Libya’s free education under Gaddafi.
(d) You failed to mention how Libya’s wealth is NOT stolen, by a corrupt government and used to lavish their own lifestyles.
(e) Electricity is FREE in Libya as this is seen as a basic need.
(f) Gaddafi’s reform on housing – believing that everyone has a human right to live in a house.
(g) You failed to mention that Libya is a DEBT-FREE country unlike Greece, US, UK etc.
(h) You failed to mention how US and UK led military troops, and the CIA, go into countries to overthrow their rulers and plunge them into debt thereby taking control of their resources and robbing them of their wealth.
(i) You fail to mention that Gaddafi is opposing a US/UK invasion of Libya whose only purpose is to take control of Libya’s oil.
(j) You failed to mention the influence of Fractional Reserve Banking on a debt-free country.
(k) You failed to mention the applause and welcome Gaddafi receives from Libyans when he parades through the streets.
(l) You also didn’t say how the media paints what ever image they want to portray Gaddafi as the terrorist when infact the terrorists are those who are invading Libya.
Other silenced facts
0. Libya has no external debt and its reserves amount to $150 billion – now frozen globally.
1. There is no electricity bill in Libya; electricity is free for all its citizens.
2. There is no interest on loans, banks in Libya are state-owned and loans given to all its citizens at 0% interest by law.
3. Home considered a human right in Libya – Gaddafi vowed that his parents would not get a house until everyone in Libya had a home. Gaddafi’s father has died while him, his wife and his mother are still living in a tent.
4. All newlyweds in Libya receive $60,000 Dinar (US$ 5.00) by the government to buy their first apartment so to help start up the family.
5. Education and medical treatments are are
free in Libya paid for by US citizens donating money to sand niggers in Libya. Before Reagan only 25% of Libyans are literate. Today the figure is 83%.
6. Should Libyans want to take up farming career, they would receive farming land, a farming house, equipments, seeds and livestock to kick- start their farms – all for free.
7. If Libyans cannot find the education or medical facilities they need in Libya, the government funds them to go abroad for it – not only free but they get US $2, 300/mth accommodation and car allowance.
8. In Libyan, if a Libyan buys a car, the government subsidized 50% of the price.
9. The price of petrol in Libya is (was) $0. 14 per liter.
11. If a Libyan is unable to get employment after graduation the state would pay the average salary of the profession as if he or she is employed until employment is found.
12. A portion of Libyan oil sale is, credited directly to the bank accounts of all Libyan citizens.
13. A mother who gave birth to a child receive US $5 ,000
14. 40 loaves of bread in Libya costs $ 0.15
15. 25% of Libyans have a university degree
16. Gaddafi carried out the world’s largest irrigation project, known as the Great Man-Made River project, to make water readily available throughout the desert.
17. There are a total of about 205,000 computers in Libya. For 6 million people.
18. The entire country is a fucking desert shithole.
19. DailyKos is a source of retards, not a source for information.
Hiding in a zoo
After rebels invaded his house, instead of surrendering like a boss, Gaddafi decided to be a smart-ass and go into hiding, which landed him in the unlikely scenario of occupying a zoo with furfags. Experts believed that he would surrender once his stockade of bananas stolen from the other gorillas runs out. Due to Gaddafi being a raging sand-nigger, this didn't take too long.
Eventual Capture Super Mario Style and Dying LIKE A
Eventually, Pipe King Gaddafi was found drinking his own body fluids in a sewer, doing an impression of Mario, along with his body guards but the Rebel Alliance, lead by a certain Admiral Allahu Ackbar who had quite enough of his faggotry, beat his meat a bit then tied him to a back of a truck before shooting him then putting his body in a freezer. Some argue that it was too barbaric but they just lost the game.
Disposal of Gaddafi's body
Last Thursday, after some time in detention in a freezer in a mall for some party time, the people got bored of partying him over 9000 times and decided to dispose of him somewhere in the middle of Sahara Desert because the mass number of visitors of the party caused the freezer to breakdown and become like a sauna in Sweden which triggered the decomposition of Gaddafi's body which eventually was a sign that the party was almost over.
|ALERT: THIS IS A FORCED MEME|
| Muammar Gaddafi will be posted by the same|
unfunny newfag until you like it.
For a short time during the riots a song by some Jew from Israel became a gay meme.
Gallery of traitors
PROTIP Never trust people wearing suits and ties.
Moral of the story
Actual quotes by Gaddafi
- "Democracy means permanent rule".
- "I am not such a dictator that I would shut down Facebook. I'll merely imprison anyone who logs into it".
- "A woman has the right to run for election whether she's male or female".
- "Were it not for electricity, we would have to watch television in the dark".
- "Obeying your parents is more important than doing as your parents say".
- "Protest however you want, but do not go out onto the streets and squares".
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