From Encyclopedia Dramatica
are not masturbating
. You aren't. Don't even think about it! You're going to become a furry if you do so..! God, I can't take it anymore!
Okay, Gardevoir is pretty fucking hot, so masturbate to your heart's content, and be sure to cum
buckets..! Okay, you're a furry now.
Typical Gardevoir trainer.
Gardevoir, the waifu Pokémon, is found on Route 102, and the single most delicious dessert of all furfaggots, fortunately in the same games as Mudkipz. She is a Pokémon-inspired meme with high popularity on /b/ and /v/ along with various other imageboards, and is loved by many people who aren't furries. She is a widely accepted example of Rule 34.
Gardevoir has the appearance of a female humanoid. She has emo-eyepatches, angst syndrome, and the ability to confuse the minds of her foes. She also has what appears to be a red-stained blade growing from her chest, located uncomfortably between her breasts.
It is logically assumed that Gardevoir are always female; this is of course untrue as there is evidence of male versions in existence. Also, concerning the release of Pokémon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, a male-exclusive version of Gardevoir, known as Gallade, has made its appearance. As of Gen VI, she is also a fairy.
The Pokédex entries for her state that she loves her trainer, even to the point of death, so your lonely ass might actually have a chance.
—Anonymous on their experiences with Gardevoir fans.
Videos of faggotry
She could pwn your ass!
She could pwn your ass!
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Fanfiction of faggotry
"Congratulations! Your KIRLIA evolved into a GARDEVOIR!*
"Wow!* Exclaimed Chaud, wide eyed at his new pokemon. He had no idea it was so close to evolving, but here it was! It got alot taller, and prettier too. It almost looked human.
"So you're a Gardevoir, huh? Hmm..." He walked around his pokemon, pacing a circle as he examined her closely. "I bet you're really strong, and your move pool's impressive too." He muttered to himself as he eyedballed her.
"Does my new form please you, Master?'
"...!* Chaud jumped, then looked around quickly. *What...? Who said that, who's there?"
'Its me Master. Your pokemon."
Chaud blinked, turning back to look at his Gardevoir. "That was...you?" She smiled and tilted her head slightly.
'Yes, Master. I can speak to you telepathically now.' Gardevoir said Wordlessly.
"Wow... telepathy. Now that's impressive! You're a great pokemon."
Gardevoir blushed and looked away. "Thank you, Master..."
"No Problem. I give compliments when compliment's due." Chaud winked, causing Gardevoir to blush even more. Chaud didn't seem to notice though. "Well we're almost to the next town. What do you say you get in the pokeball and I take you over to the pokemon center for some much deserved healing?"
Gardevoir nodded, lacing her hands behind her back.
"Alright!" Chaud smiled pulling out his pokeball and popping it open, allowing Gardevoir to return to within. He minimized it and set it on his belt, then began on his way to the next town.
Feeling more drained than usual, Chaud decided to spend the night at that town. He wasn't exactly well-off in terms of cash, so the motel he stayed at was sub par at best. Paying for his room, he headed up stairs and down the hall until he found his room.
He sighed out in relief at the sight of the bed. Dingy it was, but cushion is cushion. Chaud threw his backpack onto a chair and immediately removed his shirt. Tossing that on the floor, he started to unbuckle his belt. He let his pants drop to the floor, leaving him in his boxers. He walked over to his backpack to retrieve his pajamas, and didn't notice one of the pokeballs roll off his belt and rest on the button. The ball expanded and popped open. Gardevoir appeared on the motel room. She yawned silently, stretching, then turned around.
Chaud jumped, whirling around to find himself in his underwear in front of Gardevoir! "Ah! W-what are you....."
"...." She blushed intensely and turned away, her hands over her face.
"Oh man....I'm so embarrassed.... this was.... I mean, this wasn't.... I didn't.... " Chaud chewed on his lower lip, too flustered to think anything to say in this awkward moment.
'Master... I didn't know you felt that way."
"... ! Huh?" Chaud blinked.
Gardevoir looked back at him over her shoulder. She was still blushing, but her eyes.... they didn't look embarrassed. 'Why else would you summon me here? Now? In a motel room... you nearly nude.... me just evolved into this form....'
'You've been waiting, haven't you? Waiting until I evolved.... ' She turned fully, moving towards him. She looked as if she glided as she moved. So gracefully, So femininely. Her hand went to his chest, Sliding over the warm skin. '....until you could have me.'
"H-h-h-have- y-y-you?!" Chaud's face lit up like a beacon. He could feel his knees get shakey and his heart race. Was his pokemon actually.... And did she really.... and why didn't he feel more disgusted by this? Did he.... Did he wanted it all along after all?
She smiled. 'Yes. You can have me.' She pressed her lips against his, throwing her arms around his neck and engaging him in a passionate, heated embrace. To be honest, she'd wanted him too. Ever since she was Ralts. But it had been impossible until now....Now it could all 'fit'.
Chaud was completely taken aback by all this.His mind was reeling, but his body... it seemed to know exactly what to do. His hands almost unconsciously went to her hips, his lips beginning to kiss back, and a certain appendage began to stiffen. "Mmm..."
'Your lips feel so good, Master. And you're so warm. I cannot wait until we are one..." She spoke telepathically as if their kissing became fervent.
"Mmm. . . Then let's not wait anymore!" He exclaimed suddenly, sweeping Gardevoir off her feet quite suddenly, then tossing her onto the bed. He crawled on after her, grinning devilishly.
'Oh Master.... So assertive!"
"You betcha!" He kissed her again.
"Mm--yeah?" He pulled away.
'Do you have....Protection?'
Chaud blinked, then furrowed his brows. "Protection...? Oh! You mean Condoms?"
"Uh, no. But we don't need those! I can't get you pregnant and we're both virgins, right?"
'Right, but....It's just...." She looked away, biting her lip.
'All humans use condoms for this type of thing. That's normal. And we're doing this. So.... If we used those, it'd be more... normal, and less like you're doing it with an animal.'
".... Aw. Gardevoir. I don't think of you as an animal!"
He pursed his lips, then smiled. "Okay! I saw a machine downstairs! Let's go!"
Gardevoir's expression brightened. 'Thank you, Master!'
After a quick dressing session, Chaud and Gardevoir hurried downstairs to the first floor of the motel. There was a vending machine with various chips, drinks, and at the very bottom.... "Condoms!"
'Only ten G!'
"uh... Oh uh... " He patted his pockets.
"I don't have any change...."
'Oh.. ' Gardevoir looked down at the floor.
"... ..." He stared at her face for a moment, then nodded. "Don't worry!" Chaud knelt down in the front of the machine and stuck his hands into the flap.
'Master! Are you sure you should be doing that?'
"Don't worry! No one will notice. Nnnnngg... Just a little.... bit... more... And.... got it!" Chaud pulled the rubber out of the machine and straightened. "Now let's get back up there and--"
"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!"
Chaud and Gardevoir both jumped as a man clad in heavy armor ran up to them, scowling.
"NOBODY BREAKS THE LAW ON MY WATCH! I'VE CONFISCATED YOUR STOLEN GOODS. NOW PAY YOUR FINE OR IT'S OFF TO THE JAIL!"
"Uh... sir... I'm sorry... really... this won't happen again... " Chaud stuttered out, wide eyed. "Let me just get my wall-"
"THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!" The guard drew out his sword.
'Master!' Gardevoir moved in between. 'Don't worry, I'll pro--' The guard beheaded Gardevoir with a single slash.
"....GARDEVOIR! NO! YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED HER! YOU--" He never finished his sentence as the cold steel ran through his chest. He gasped, and blood trickled out from his lips. The sword was pulled out, and Chaud collapsed. Everything was going dark. Everything was vanishing. He saw Gardevoir's severed head on the other side of the room, and the armored man's feet as he nonchalantly sheated his blade and walked away....
Those sick fucks
are capable of everything...Oh the horror... the horror!
Rain spattered across the sand, causing a deafening roar, like that of a hundred semis crashing into each other in apocalyptic glory. The crack of thunder split the insanity, and wind swept it up into a cacophony of natural horror. All the while David sat glumly, shielding himself from the gale beneath a rather large tree. He was soaked to the bone and miserable. Lost in Kanto, with no map, no pokedex, no food, and no company other than his beloved pokemon. He was sure he'd die of hypothermia or worse.
David sighed, clinging tightly to his umbrella which proved of little worth except for some sort of moral booster. His soaked blond hair clung tightly to his body. With an absent hand he fondled the pokeballs on his lap. He clicked the switch on the front, releasing Gardevoir, to stand beside him.
"Garde..?" she whispered to him soothingly.
"No, I'm fine Gardevoir. I just wanted some to be with," he replied, barely audible to the young pokemon above the ripping winds. A shallow tear formed on the rim of his red eyes but was blotted out the rest of the water that coagulated on everything within sight.
She patted his shoulder. She was so cute, even for a pokemon. Her thin hips swayed, her plant-like hair messed by the storm. No, no, what are you doing, he thought. She's an animal.
But yet she was so much like a human, only smaller, and covered in fauna. Plus there was no one around for miles, and no amount of masturbating could satiate the lust he felt out in the wilderness... if only he could feel the flesh of a woman against his.
He put a loving arm around his Gardevoir, pulling her close and whispered; "Gardevoir, you know that I'm your trainer, right? Your master?"
"Gard," she nodded in agreement. He nodded in return.
"And would you do anything for me?"
"Garde," she nodded again. He moved another hand to her, sliding it over her wasp waist and looking carefully into her eyes. She seemed to begin to understand, a look of fear welled in her eyes. David could feel a lump in his pants swell as he began to force her upon the soaked ground. The sky rumbled with thunder all around them, the tree above them creaked threateningly.
The best thing about a pokemon is that they'll never be able to tell anyone about it.
In a flash his pants were off and he was atop her. She squealed and struggled, afraid to fight back because he was, indeed, her trainer. Her mind had a block in it, via years of training, years of believing he'd never harm her, that he was her best friend.
He ran a hand over her leafy posterior. A probing finger slipped in between, finding a hole. He knew little of the Gardevoir anatomy, but knew that any hole would work. He plunged his rock hard cock deep inside of her anus. It was white hot. A wave of pleasure washed over him before the first stroke. Gardevoir screamed in pain, her precious anus being pulled to four times its natural size. With each thrust she screamed louder, but David couldn't hear it. The crevasse formed tightly over his shaft, gripping harder than his fist ever could. Before long he finally came, filling her sphincter with his seed. White mixed with black blood as he pulled out. Blood and feces dribbled out.
The sight of Gardevoir laying there, whimping, smeared with mud, blood, cum, and her own feces unlocked something deep within David's soul. His heart soared at the sight. It felt so good! It was like he finally discovered his place in the world. While his spirit had become free, however, his mind quivered under the weight of his actions, struggling to block these memories from existence, enabling his attack.
His mouth lowered in primal instinct, extending his pink tongue. He lapped up her blood and shit, using pruned fingers to smother himself. It was beautiful. The bitter taste of her poop, and the coppery taste of her blood was like magic to him.
"Gardevvv..." she moaned, hands digging into the dirt. She wept. How could she do this to him? Pain was splitting her because of him. He said he'd never hurt her, though... maybe he wasn't? Maybe this was fine...
He flipped her bleeding, limp body over. His mouth met hers, lashing about inside of her toothed maw. He kissed hard and deep as he carefully fit his shitty dick into her pokevagina. The head slid in easily and she whimpered. With a deft hand he massaged her clitoris. She tried to pull back to cry out but he pushed into her harder. She screamed into his mouth. The vibrations filled him in ecstasy. He violently penetrated her and wave after wave of pleasure engulfed them both. It was beyond the realm of human understanding. Collapsing universes whirled about them, being born and dying in an eternal, idiot firestorm.
As he came again he thrust harder, forcing as much of himself in as he could. His penis crashed into her cervix and she let out a blood curdling scream, clawed hands digging into his flesh.
David didn't like that at all. No, she wasn't allowed to injure him. He drove his bleaching fist into her mouth. There was a crunch and black syrup welled up in her mouth and eyes. She gurgled, and he smiled gleefully. Disengaged from her mangled secret, he crawled up to her face. Lifting her broken head he plunged his dick into her wounded mouth.
Gardevoir could take no more. She gave himself over to him. He was her master. She would please him any way she could and never make another whimper in reply. She suckled on his piece as he pulled it in and out. Cracked lips smothered him, teasing glands and glans. He gripped her arms, squeezing tighter. More pain roared through her and she sucked harder. She gagged, puking a little. The bile stung him, so he drove another fist into her eye.
Through the pain she sucked and finally he came. As he did, his mind cracked a little more. He gripped her head, forcing his cock into the back of her throat. She vomited again, squirting half-digest plant matter all over both of them and he lashed her. Her tiny bones splintered under his blows and he came harder at her destruction.
Weeks later David finally found himself at Cerulean city. Gardevoir wasn't looking very good. She didn't respond to vocal stimuli and couldn't see out of the eye he caved in, but he felt no remorse for it. Even so; he felt glad. She was mentally broken. His attack had transformed her into the perfect sex slave: when he moved his cock near her she would tilt her head, trying to find it, just as a baby searches for a nipple and automatically begins suckling.
She was infected, though. Mold grew upon her anus and wounded eye. Her vagina was yellow with infection, discharging constantly. She wouldn't make it another day.
David rushed to the pokemon center, Gardevoir in his arms. He came up to the reception desk and there was Nurse Joy. Her eyes first when to David's dumb smiling face, but then down to the pokemon in his arms and she gasped.
"What happened?!" she said, stroking Gardevoir's hair with the gentleness of a mother.
"I'm not exactly sure," he muttered coldly, "I found her like this out in the forest," tears formed in Joy's eyes and she scooped the poor pokemon up, taking her over to the rejuvenation chamber for dying pokemon in another room. After flipping the switch the chamber filled with gases, obscuring outside eyes. Joy didn't mind that David had followed her in and closed the door, she was too busy studying a complicated-looking readout now appearing on a computer screen.
She bent over low as she typed slowly, a complete novice with computers it appeared, and as she did her skirt teased her thick ass. Her thigh highs squeezed her legs delightfully. She was a delicious woman, and David would have no problem finding out just how delicious she was.
He slid up next to her. "How does it look, nurse?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Not very good, I'm afraid the rejuvenation chamber won't be enough for--"
"No, not the pokemon. Your cunt."
At this the nurse spun around. A hurt look flashed across her face and she bit her lip. She was exactly sure how to handle this situation. It was true that she was constantly horny. She never had time for anything outside of the hospital. Her cunt tingled at the prospect of being split. She eyed the door. Should she run? Should she have sex with this complete stranger? "He seems dangerous..." she though, but as she did her thighs pressed against themselves, pinching her slowly enlarging clitoris.
David's hands began to unbutton her blouse, revealing a polkadotted bra clasping two melon-sied breasts.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the office," she said with as much courage as she could muster, but didn't stop him. He pushed her up against the computer terminal and mouthed her nipples. She gasped as he bit one, teasing it with his tongue. He sucked on it and she lurched, not noticing her hands slide down to his hips.
He lifted her and placed her upon the desk. Her legs spread and she leaned back, forgetting that she was on the rag, and gave herself to him. He lowered himself to a knee, ripping off her clashing blue underwear and explosing her rosy, dripping hole. He gently tugged on the string sticking out, drawing a blood-soaked tampon out. It fell to the floor and thick chunks began to seep out. She burned for him, for this complete stranger.
His fingers moved into her, rubbing the rough spot just inside the warm tunnel. his red tongue slathered her clit. He sucked on it and hummed. A dizzy, buzzing feeling filled her head and she began bucking, screaming in pleasure. Soon her screams of pleasure became those of pain as he forced three fingers into her tight pussy. She hadn't been with a man in so long..
"No, please.." she gasped as her vagina slowly spread and grew used to the probing digits.
He inserted another finger and she gasped. This time her cunt burned in protest, showing no signs of widening. She squeaked. He forced another finger in and soon he was fisting her, plunging his large, manly hands in as far as they would go, spreading her wider. Filling her.
"Moooree," she growled through clenched teeth, thick streams of saliva going down her cheeks, "FUCK ME HARDER YOU PEACE OF SHIT."
David didn't like this however, and punched her in the gut. She lurched forward and gasped. But then, weighing how much fun he was having with being told what to do, he decided to insert his next fist.
Her tendons popped and squeaked as he forced the other one inside slowly. Her cleft opened wider, and wider still. She screamed in pain and pleasure until her throat bled almost as much as her cunt. Blood streamed down his arms, mixing with her cum until his shirt and the floor were soaked.
There was a knock at the door, followed by the turning of a handle.
In strode the doctor the nurse had called for earlier. Her father.
He stopped, shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of him.
"W-What are you, what are you doing to my little girl?" he murmured.
"Shut the fuck up you old bastard and get the fuck over here, her mouth isn't going to fuck itself!" David shouted, forcing his voice above that of nurse Joy's. She was horrified that her father had walked in on this, horrified at all the blood and what she had been coerced into, but she couldn't stop. Lust raged inside of her, overtaking all other motor functions.
"Fuck me, daddy," she said, grinning a bloody smile. Her pleading eyes met his and before she knew it, her father's wrinkly, liver-spotted dick was in her mouth.
The doctor fucked her from the opposite side of the table. Her young tongue slid over the top of his dick, teasing the helmet. He bucked wildly, shakily. He had not had sex since his wife had died ten years ago, and sometimes had dreams about his daughter. He tried to ignore them, push them to the back of his mind. But he could never help his sick fantasies. Sometimes he'd "accidentally" walk in on her dressing or showering, and would think about it later that night as he choked himself and petted his shriveling member.
David began to grow bored, his maniacal, slowly-splintering mind needed more horror to satiate it. It was a curse, but one he enjoyed.
He drew one hand out of her weeping puss, much to her protest. With the other he gripped her cervix and twisted. Pain cut her and she clenched her teeth and moaned, cleanly chopping her father's dick off as he came. The doctor fell backwards and the nurse sat up straight. Her vision blurred from the pain, but she was just barely able to see what David was doing.
He had drawn a knife out of his pocked and driven it into his urethra. His cock opened wide and he screamed, but kept pushing hard, down into his ballsack. Blood gushed forward and he puked, bile adding to the horrendous pain, but he couldn't stop. Slowly memories of him and Gardevoir flooded back, all the fun they had back home. Memories of his mother and father, how they wanted him to succeed. They wanted him to come home, to spend time with their baby boy. Of his first love, the girl he never got over. Her name was Misty. She wanted to see him again, she had sent him a letter only a month earlier saying she wanted to be with him again, that nothing felt the same without him. What was he doing here?
He couldn't stop his hands, they moved on their own, twisting out Joy's cervix, bit by bit, and slitting his genitals. At last the leathery bag was open. They gripped his testicles and pried them out, forcing them into his mouth.
All three parties bled to death. It was in the news the next day. The Gardevoir recovered, but was forever in a tortured state of slavery.
Misty shook as she read it. She wept and her mind grew jaded and hateful. She was alone in the world now. Nobody she loved. Nothing. Alone.
She drew a pokeball from her belt and opened it. Staryu appeared next to her.
"Staryu," she blushed, and looked at him through teary eyes, "would you do anything for me?"
"Starr," he echoed.
Her cunt burned. She needed it...
“Come on don’t rain.” The young man whispered to himself as the clouds began to roll in. He was running as fast as he could down a makeshift path through the woods. As if to mock him the sky began to drizzle.
“Noooo, not now please.” Much to the man’s dismay he could hear a faint rumble coming from the clouds. “Oh fuck you sky.” Almost as if retaliating the sky started to downpour. The man let out an annoyed groan but continued to run. “Shelter, come onnnnnnn shelter.” He didn’t have to run long before coming across a pretty sizeable cave. Without considering the consequences of running into a cave in the middle of the woods, he took refuge inside.
“Trapped, in a cave, in a storm. Can this get anymore cliché?!” The man yelled to no one in particular. “Yeah run all the way to your house from the city, it’s such a beautiful day, not like it’s going to rain or anything. That sure was a smart idea Ben.” He sighed. “Guess I won’t make it in time, sorry mom.” He sighed again and sat down near the mouth of the cave, leaning his back against the wall.
Ben stared outside at the pouring rain; he was feeling more and more depressed by the second. “Should’ve watched the weather channel.” Unbeknownst to Ben his first rant had woken someone sleeping just a bit deeper in the cave. The pouring rain drowned out the sound of her steps as she slowly moved forward to search for the source of the noise that had awoken her. Only when she let out a loud gasp did Ben notice her.
The sound almost scared him as he just realized the consequences of running into random caves: Any wild pokemon could be taking refuge inside.
He slowly turned his head, not wanting to startle or provoke whatever was behind him. Much to his relief it wasn’t what he was expecting. A long white dress, green “hair”, and a large red chest spike. ‘A gardevoir.’ He thought to himself. It was just then that he noticed the look on her face; it was one of shock and fear.
“Um…hi?” Ben said nervously.
“Stay back!” She spoke in plain English.
He was a little shocked at her outburst but tried not to show it. Before he could speak again she shouted at him. “What are you doing here?!”
“Im just trying to get out of the storm, relax.”
“Liar!” The expression on her face went from fear to anger in a second. “I know what you’re here for; you’re here to capture me just like all of the others.”
Ben tried to look sympathetic and keep his voice down but he was already having a hard time. “Look I don’t want to capture you, honestly.”
“Yes you do, you humans are all the same. Capturing pokemon and making them your slaves, well you won’t get me!”
“Look I don’t know what kind of humans you’ve been meeting but I’m not like them.” Ben’s look of sympathy was long gone but he still had control over the volume of his voice.
“Oh yeah? Prove it!”
He jumped to his feet. “Look at me, do I look like I’m a damn trainer. I don’t carry pokeballs.” He spun around and gave himself a pat down. “I don’t even have a damn wallet.” True, in fact he didn’t have anything. All he was wearing were blue jeans and a black t-shirt.
It put her at ease a little to see he didn’t have any pokeballs but not much. “Humans capture with more then just pokeballs.”
“Oh yeah right what am I gonna capture you with a net? Where would I hide it my ass?” He replied sarcastically.
“I still don’t trust you.”
“You know what, fine. That’s fucking fine. I don’t care.” Ben’s patience had reached his limit more then a minute ago. “Alright here’s the deal, I’m going to sit right here until the storm clears.” He pointed at the spot where he was previously sitting. “You can either leave or sit your ass down over there.” He pointed to the edge of the cave; it was no more then 15 feet deep. “You don’t talk to me, I don’t talk to you.” Without giving her a chance to reply he sat down again and resumed looking out at the storm.
Without another word, but a scornful look, the gardevoir sat as far away as possible while still making sure she could see what he was doing. Her eyes never left Ben.
The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. All Ben had to look at was the rain, the wall, and the ceiling; he could see the gardevoir staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He never gave her so much as a furtive glance but it was slightly pissing him off the way she stared. There was nothing else the gardevoir could do, she simply sat with her legs against her chest and stared, making sure he wasn’t trying anything funny.
They sat in silence for hours with only the sound of the pouring rain. It was almost calming to both of them, almost. Ben had phased the sound from his mind but it was putting the gardevoir to sleep. She was woken from her slumber prematurely and was having a hard time staying awake with nothing else to do but stare. After about a half an hour her eyes were half closed. Her head was bobbing up and down as she desperately tried to stay awake. ‘Can’t fall asleep around him.’ She kept telling herself as she shook her head in a futile attempt to wake herself up. It only took a few minutes before fatigue set in and she unwillingly rested her head on her knees.
Gardevoir didn’t know how long she had slept but she was awoken by the sound of Ben sneezing. Her eyes flew open and she jumped to her feet ready for battle.
Ben gave her a funny look before saying “What, it was a sneez-” He was cut short by another sneeze.
Realizing she jumped for nothing, Gardevoir sat down again with a sigh.
He sneezed a third time. “Fucking cold.” Ben said aloud. He began to look at the small sticks strewn around him. ‘Wouldn’t last long but some fire is better then none.’
It took him less then a minute to gather all of the small sticks and various pieces of wood. He didn’t get the ones around Gardevoir since he didn’t feel like being anywhere near her. Gardevoir watched vigilantly as he arranged a number of them into a small teepee.
“What are you doing?” She asked almost suspiciously.
Without turning his attention from the teepee he stated “Making a fire, its cold. Why don’t you do me a favor and throw me some sticks; I’m sure you’re just as cold as I am.”
She continued to stare at him with a suspicious look until he turned his eye to her, an irritated look on his face.
She didn’t move her head as her eyes began to glow and the small pieces of wood flew in his direction. They continued to stare into each others eyes for a moment before Ben rolled his eyes and resumed work on his fire. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long piece of string. After pulling on it a few times to test its durability he tied both ends to each side of a stick, creating what appeared to be a bow. He looped the string around another stick, held it straight up, and began to pull the bow back and forth, making the stick spin at a high speed on top of another flat piece of wood. He continued this movement until he had an ember. Next he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, placed it on the ember, and began blowing. The ember caught the piece of paper on fire which in turn caught the sticks on fire. Within a minute Ben had a nice little fire going.
“Failure as a boy scout my ass, suck it troop leader Roberts.” He said as he smiled. With the little success from the fire Ben had almost forgotten the situation he was in. He was quickly reminded however when he looked over to Gardevoir who still stared at him with narrow eyes. Just as quickly as his smile had come it was gone; he sighed and leaned back against the wall. A quick glance outside showed that the storm had gotten worse. Not only was the rain pouring even harder but the wind had picked up too. The thunder and lighting were becoming more frequent as well. All of this just added to Ben’s anger. “It’s gonna be a long day.”
As expected the fire didn’t last long, thanks to the little bit of extra wood he had on hand he managed to keep it going for an hour. He had heated the entire cave over the course of the hour but now that it was gone he ran the risk of freezing to death, further fueling Ben’s silent rage.
Since there wasn’t much on Ben’s mind, Gardevoir resorted to reading his emotions an hour back. She was never too good at reading minds anyway; emotions have always been her specialty. She was well aware of the anger welling up inside of Ben, the angrier he got the easier she could feel it and at this point she didn’t even have to focus on him for her to feel the anger. She was so in tune and his feelings were so strong it was beginning to affect her in a negative way.
Hours past, the sun was setting and the storm showed no signs of letting up. The thought of being trapped in a cave overnight only served to up Ben’s anger another few notches. He was grinding his teeth and squeezing his shoulder almost constantly. Gardevoir was staring at the ground, unconsciously mimicking his every move. His emotions were flowing into her mind and overwhelming her senses. She was about to get a headache when she decided she couldn’t take it anymore.
She stood up and yelled. “What the hell is your problem!?”
Ben’s anger finally boiled over but he stayed seated. “Being trapped, in a cave, in a thunderstorm, in the middle of nowhere, and freezing to death on my mom’s birthday! Not only that, but being trapped alone with the type of person I hate most in the world!”
“And what’s that supposed to mean!?”
“Judgmental, intolerant, narrow-minded, racist assholes like you, that’s what I mean! I can’t fucking stand people like you, there has never been and never will be a reason to be that way”
The gardevoir opened her mouth to say something multiple times, but each time nothing came out.
“What, no sob story about how you were beaten or raped by an abusive trainer, or how your parents were killed by humans, or no let me guess, they killed or captured your brother and sister, something like that?”
Gardevoir was having a difficult time keeping the anger on her face. “My parents’ wer-”
“Here, let me tell you a story. It was nine years ago, I was only 10 years old. Me, my mom and dad and my older brother and younger sister decide to go on a picnic no more then a mile from our house. A nidoking, for no reason whatsoever attacks us. None of us were trainers; we had no pokemon to defend us. My dad and 16 year old brother died trying to save us, both of them ripped apart right in front of me, and then what does the nidoking do? He just walks the fuck away, like we weren’t even worth his time. Maybe he just felt like killing some humans that day, I still have no clue why.”
The gardevoir tried to interject. “But-”
“The very same year, my little sister who was only 4 at the time, gets attacked, and stabbed through the heart, by a beedrill. My mom, who was trying only to rush her daughter to the hospital, is also stabbed and poisoned by the very same pokemon. She manages to make it to the hospital but it was far too late to save my sister. My mom’s body is paralyzed due to the poison’s effect and nearly dies as well; she was hospitalized for an entire year and can’t walk to this day.”
Gardevoir went to open her mouth one last time but was cut off yet again.
“Seven hours ago, I’m trying to visit my mom for her birthday but a thunderstorm hits. I run toward the nearest cave and meet a pokemon who hates me, ME, just for being human. Now do I go around hating every pokemon I see? Do I think that they’re ‘all the same,’ no!
I could hate you, I could hate every last one of you for what you’ve done to me and my family but I don’t and do you wanna know why? Because you aren’t all the same, humans aren’t all the same, it’s fucking impossible. I don’t know how anyone can be so stupid, how can you honestly believe that? Do you not care, do you not know any better, and have you really never met a human who’s worth a damn? Well I don’t know but if I can forgive pokemon then anyone can; I don’t care what they’ve been through. Now, tell me your story.”
There was nothing she could say, the gardevoir continued to stare but the anger and suspicion in her eyes were gone. In their place were guilt, sadness, and tears. Without a word she sat back down and buried her face in her knees.
Ben didn’t feel any better, now that his anger had left him the guilt of making someone cry was getting to him.
He sighed and brought his palm to his face. “I’ll be back.” The wind had stopped but it was still pouring outside. Ben found the nearest dry tree and decided to rest under it, he felt that being alone would be best for both of them right now. He sat under the tree for maybe a half an hour before deciding to go back in. Being in the rain for even that short amount of time was a bad idea but Ben thought if he was going to freeze to death why not speed it up. When he made it back to the cave Gardevoir hadn’t moved an inch nor had she even lifted her head. Ben just sat down and stared at the wall, the sound of pouring rain was all too clear to him now.
Neither of them knew how long they sat in silence but Gardevoir was the first to speak.
“My mom…always told me stories about how bad humans were.” Ben was paying attention but still staring at the wall. “Everything that went wrong in our life she blamed on them. When my dad was caught it was just another excuse for her to hate them. I was there, when he was caught, but my mom wasn’t. He didn’t fight it, but I remember what he told me right before he was captured. ‘Be strong, and don’t follow behind your mother. Make your own choice and follow your own path.’ I think I finally understand what he meant. Dad didn’t hate humans because there was no reason to. Mom forced it on me for years until I believed it too.”
“Even though you had no real reason to?”
“Yeah…” They shared another long silence. “I’m sor-” Before she could finish she cut off by Ben’s sneezing and sniffling.
She stared at him for another minute before getting up slowly making her way over to him. Ben just continued to stare at the wall as she sat next to him. She built up her nerve for a minute until finally saying “I’m sorry.” At the same time as Ben.
She was a little shocked. “What do you have to be sorry for, I’m the one who-”
“For making you cry earlier.” He still stared at the wall as he talked.
“It was my fault, if I wasn’t being so-”
“You didn’t…believe it either did you, that all humans were evil?” She was silent. “At anytime you wanted you could’ve thrown me out of the cave and I wouldn’t have had the power to stop you.”
“I’m not sure why I didn’t.”
“I think…you wanted someone to prove your mother wrong. Deep down you knew it couldn’t be true. I know people like your mother, no matter what you say they still cling to their beliefs, no matter how much evidence is piled against them they’ll refuse to accept it. But you seem to have changed in only an hour, there’s no way you were one of those people.”
Ben looked over he saw tears welling up in her eyes. “Aw don’t start crying again you’ll make me feel guilty.” He said with a smile.
The tears began to roll down her cheeks when he smiled. “Thank you Ben.”
“Wait how do you know my nam-” Before he finished his sentence she buried her head into his shoulder and held him in a tight embrace. Ben decided that enough words had been exchanged and reached his arm around her; they both fell asleep shortly after.
Ben was the first to wake the next morning, it was still raining but there was no thunder this time. Gardevoir had somehow worked her way across his lap and had both arms around his neck. It felt weird but it kept them from freezing overnight.
Not wanting to wake her, Ben sat still until she woke up about a half an hour later. When she yawned and looked up at him with sleepy eyes he couldn’t help but smile, she blushed and smiled back.
“Um do you mind getting off before something happens?”
She could feel his emotions now better then before, he was slightly nervous and embarrassed. “There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about.” She said with a smile.
“There will be if you don’t move soon.” He looked away as he said this, his nervousness, and something else was still growing.
Gardevoir’s look of confusion only grew. “…I don’t underst- OOP!” She was interrupted by something poking her in the butt. “Sorry.” They both said in unison. She rushed off of his lap and took a seat beside him, looking the other direction in embarrassment, Ben was doing the same. A long awkward silence followed but Ben was the one to break it.
“I don’t think the rain is going to stop anytime soon. I might walk to my mom’s now while it isn’t thundering.”
“But I…you could catch a cold.”
“I think it’s already too late for that.” He wore a somewhat goofy grin as he said this. “Anyway, it’s about 8 miles down the road, I’m gonna get going.” As he went to get up she grabbed his arm and desperately held on to it. “Please don’t…leave me…” As Ben looked back he could already see the tears forming in her eyes. Guilt got the better of him; he sighed, sat back down, and put his arm around her. They looked into each others eyes for what seemed like hours.
She rested her head on his shoulder again. “Im sorry I just-”
“Shhh.” He hushed her. “It’s ok; it’s not your fault.” Yet another long silence followed.
“Ben?” She didn’t move her head.
“I think…I’m in love with you.” If Ben had a drink he’d be spitting it out about now.
“But…we just met yester-”
“I don’t care!” She yelled into his shoulder. “You’re so…compassionate and strong.”
“Am not.” The blood rushed to Ben’s face, turning it nearly beet red.
“You are! I’ve never met anyone like you, and I don’t think I ever will again.” She broke into tears. “I understand if you don’t love me back but...but…but…” She could barely speak through her own sobbing.
Before she could continue Ben pulled her into a tight embrace. “I…can’t say I feel the same way now but… you never know what the future holds, maybe in time I could…grow to love you too.”
They looked into each other’s eyes one last time before she pulled him in for a passionate kiss, Gardevoir was in heaven. She held his head for as long as she could until they both had to breathe. “Don’t ever leave me, please.”
“Wouldn’t think of it.”
Almost all of her remaining worries melted away as she rested her head in his lap. They simply sat in silence, enjoying each others company but one last thing was unnerving Gardevoir.
She didn’t move her head from his lap and continued to stare at the wall. “Ben?”
“Do you think I’m…attractive?”
Without hesitation Ben replied “Of course I do.”
“Do you think I’m really attractive?”
He hesitated before speaking this time. “What are you trying to get at?
“If I were human would you still want me?”
This question confused Ben more then the last. “What are you talking about?”
She hesitated for a long time before asking her next question. “Would you…ever make love to a pokemon?”
Though she was somewhat subtle in her approach Ben, who finally understood the motive behind her questioning, couldn’t help but feel shocked, it showed on his face. When Gardevoir looked up and saw the look he was giving her she felt she made a horrible mistake. As quickly as she could she withdrew her head from his lap and looked the other way embarrassed.
“I’m sorry it was a stupid idea. I just thought that maybe…you and I-”
“I’m really sorry I never should’ve-”
“Gardevoir.” He had to raise his voice a little this time. She looked back and was surprised to see a smile on his face and the same compassionate look in his eye as before. “If it’ll make you happy I’ll do it.”
Tears began to form in her eyes again. “You…you really will?”
He nodded. “But please don’t start crying again.”
“I…I…I…caaaant.” She began to sob uncontrollably, again. ‘She sure loves to cry a lot.’
10 minutes later she finally calmed down enough to speak. “Ok, I’m ready.” She said as she sniffled a little.
“I’m…a little new at this. How do we start?”
“I’ll show you.” She said as she wiped the last tears from her eyes. She slowly but eagerly undid the top button of his pants. It was surprising to Ben how quickly she could work with her “fingers,” in no time at all she had gotten the zipper out of the way and pulled his pants down just enough to get access to his already hardening member, but not so far down that his legs would freeze. Not that it mattered to Ben, to him the cave already seemed to warm up a little.
The only thing left in the way was Ben’s underwear. Gardevoir took her time pulling them off and was more then pleased at what was underneath. She stared at it for as long as she could. It was perfection to her, not too big not too small. She wanted to soak in the
sight longer but Ben snapped her out of her stupor. “Getting a little cold in here.” He said jokingly. “Don’t worry.” She remarked. “I’ll fix that.” Though Gardevoir didn’t really want to waste time on foreplay she felt it necessary if she was to give him the full experience and ultimately prove that she loved him.
To waste as little time as possible she immediately engulfed his manhood. Ben gasped at her abruptness and exhaled slowly as she pulled her head back up. He clenched the dirt beneath him in both fists as she came down a second time. By the time she came up again he was panting lightly. As she came down again she rolled her tongue around it making Ben squirm slightly. It just kept getting better and Ben was enjoying every second. Gardevoir’s tongue felt magical, it seemed to get stronger every time she came back up. Every time it hit Ben’s tip he would unwillingly buck his hips forward; he learned to control it as time went on though.
At this point Gardevoir had grabbed it with both hands and was pulling as well as sucking. All of this was driving Ben crazy; he wasn’t sure how long he could hold out. Just when he thought he might be in control again, Gardevoir began to move at an incredible pace. To add to this she also fondled his balls in her spare hand. “Gardev- ughhh!” He had no time to finish his sentence; Gardevoir engulfed him to the hilt as he fired a long continuous stream down her throat. Not all of it went down, there was still a fair amount left in her mouth when she pulled back, but not for long. She eagerly swallowed every drop and licked her lips; she loved the taste.
After she finished she smiled at him, it wasn’t a seductive smile though, there was more love in it then anything. “Did you enjoy yourself?” After Ben caught he breath he gave her a look that said “Do you really need to ask?” At this her smile grew.
“I guess I should return the favor.” She tilted her head and gave him a puzzled look. “Sit here, I’ll show you.” With a little hesitation she laid her back against the wall. Now Ben may have been new at this but that didn’t mean he hadn’t watched a few porno in his day. He crawled in front of her and spread her legs a good distance apart. Upon throwing her dress to the side he was greeted by her already sopping wet slit. ‘I hope it tastes as good as the internet said it would.’
“Ben what ar-” A gasp left her mouth as Ben took one long lick. Much to his surprise it tasted better then the internet described it. It smelled of roses but the taste was of pure vanilla, definitely and odd combination but the more Ben smelled it the more he wanted it.
As Ben began to move his tongue up and down Gardevoir instinctively put her hands on his head, pushing him as far in as she could. He noticed this and doubled his tongue efforts. Though the smell in the air is what was mostly driving him, Ben tried to make it as pleasurable as possible for her. He brought his whole mouth to her flower and began to suck on it as hard as he could without causing any pain; this was more for him then for her though; the rose smelling liquid was overpowering his senses and he could barely think of anything else other then to swallow every last drop.
Still somewhat aware of his actions he took his index finger and slid it into her slit. Gardevoir’s mouth was hanging wide open and her tongue was carelessly flapping in the wind. She could feel nothing but the pure bliss from her lover’s tongue. Ben slid a second finger inside and began to move it in and out. A few seconds of this and Gardevoir let out an extremely loud groan which Ben mistook for pain. “Are you ok?”
“Don’t stop, DON’T STOP!”
Not even wasting a second Ben went back to work. In addition to his fingers he pushed his tongue inside as far as it could go and began to swirl it around. This was all it took to send Gardevoir over the edge. Her eyes nearly rolled back in her head as her insides tightened on Ben’s tongue and finger and she came all over his face. Ben wasn’t quite ready for it but still managed to catch a fair amount in his mouth. The rest he eagerly lapped up like it was the only thing he’d ever need. It took him awhile but he had plenty of time, it would take Gardevoir a few minutes to recover from that.
After she caught her breath Gardevoir grabbed both sides of Ben’s face and pulled him in for another long kiss. Ben barely had time to react, before he knew it her tongue had explored every inch of his mouth. Though she somewhat enjoyed the taste of her own juices in his mouth there was something else she needed much more. Breaking the kiss she said “Take me, I’m yours.” Ben didn’t need to hear anything more, he was already rock hard again. She let go of his face and moved her hands back down to her slit. With one hand she spread it apart and with the other she gave him a “come hither” motion.
Ben got close enough for her to put her arms around his shoulders and positioned himself over her entrance. “Ready?” He asked. Gardevoir only nodded, the tension was preventing her from speaking. She felt so much excitement that she could barely contain herself. Ben slowly slid his head inside, making Gardevoir moan quietly. Little by little he inched his way inside, every inch Gardevoir’s grip on him tightened. He was halfway there when he hit a barrier. “I think I hit something.” “You have to break it.” Gardevoir said in between her exasperated breaths.
“But won’t that hurt?”
“A lot, just do it quick I cant take it anymore!”
“But I don’t wanna hurt yo-” Halfway through his sentence Gardevoir used Psychic to pull him all the way in, breaking her hymen and hilting him. Ben let out a large gasp while Gardevoir gritted her teeth. “You ok?” Ben asked, obviously concerned about the small trickle of blood that just came out of her. After a few seconds she sighed deeply. “Perfect fit.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Her grip on him loosened ever so slightly and he began to pull out. Gardevoir moaned quietly as he pushed in a second time. Ben couldn’t believe the feeling himself, she was so tight around him. If not for the foreplay earlier he doubted he could’ve gotten in, this all became trivial the more he pushed though. At this point his hips were running almost entirely off of pure instinct, with what little control he had left he kept his speed down wanting to prolong the experience; Gardevoir felt the same way but no matter what they thought, their bodies were telling them to speed up.
Ben tried to appease his own carnal desires by picking up the pace a bit. His thrusts were fast but weak; he was still worrying about her safety. Gardevoir picked up on this and was a little annoyed but conceded that it was out of love. Still, the slow pace was torture on her.
“Ben… please harder.”
“HARDER!” Her grip on his shoulders became almost like a death grip.
This finally scared Ben into moving with a little more vigor. His next thrust was as hard as his hips could manage. “Yes!” She yelled into the air. Ben knew it was pointless to resist at this point so he continued with his powerful thrusts. Each time he pounded her, a loud “Whap” echoed through the small cave. That sound quickly gave way to Gardevoir’s moans which were getting louder and louder which each thrust. Her breath was shuttering and stopped completely every time Ben finished a thrust. “Ben.” She managed to say in between thrusts. “I’m almost there, just…a little…more.”
It was now or never, Ben put his arms on the wall behind her and starting to thrust as fast and hard as he could. Gardevoir’s legs moved up and around his waist, she held on to him as tight as she could. Ben’s own groans were inaudible over her screams of pleasure. Nothing else in the world mattered to Ben; all he could do pound her as hard as his body was able, and so he did. Five minutes after their love-making session had begun, they both came simultaneously. Gardevoir screamed one last time as a river of he juices splashed both her and her lover. Ben groaned, not nearly loud enough to be heard over Gardevoir, as he shot stream after stream of his seed into her. It filled her almost instantly and tried force its way out. Ben who was the “perfect fit” had no space left inside and was forced out, sending the last wave of cum all over Gardevoir’s front side, she didn’t mind. Gardevoir’s grip lightened but not enough for Ben to fall to the side. He came to rest directly over her, just like she wanted.
“You know you’re scary when you have sex.” He said in a joking tone.
She couldn’t help but smile. “Ben…I love you.” She was completely out of breath.
Ben decided to think before responding this time. He knew it was possible to love a pokemon this way but just couldn’t quite do it yet. He’s always told himself never to fall in love too quickly, it could be a mistake. But his gut told him that he needed to make her happy.
“I…love you too.”
“Ben, I can hear what you’re thinking you know that right?” He looked away embarrassed but she still smiled. “It’s ok, I understand and I still love you.”
He turned back to see her smile, the same look of love was in her eyes. They shared one more kiss before resting in each others arms. Since they pretty much had just woken up, neither of them fell asleep.
After a half an hour Gardevoir’s butt started to hurt and she decided to move. Ben, who was on top, had no choice but to move too. Neither of them could believe it was still raining outside but they took it as an opportunity. The rain wasn’t exactly freezing so they used it to clean themselves off. Afterwards they sat next to each other in the cave; things were silent for a long time.
“I wonder how my mom is doing.” Ben lamented.
Gardevoir felt the sadness coming from him and frowned but as quickly as it had come it was replaced by a smile. “We could go see, it’s not that far down the road.”
Ben was a little surprised at her offer. “But…the rain.”
“You were gonna walk through it anyway right?”
“…You’d walk in the rain for me?”
“Not for you, with you.” She smiled wide. He had a blank expression on his face but it quickly changed into a slight smile. They both got up and left the sanctity of the cave. Much to Ben’s surprise he wasn’t getting wet as he stood in the rain. Just above his head he could see the rain hitting a small barrier and sliding off to the side, kind of like a psychic umbrella. He looked over to Gardevoir who was still smiling as wide as ever.
“Nifty.” He said with a smile. “Yep, but you gotta stay close though.” She winked at him.
He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her close. They walked down the path, both of them hoping the rain would never end.
Trolling people online with Gardevoir
- Get a male timid Gardevoir that knows Destiny Bond.
- Make him hold a Choice Scarf.
- Use Destiny Bond .
- Wait for enemy to attack.
- Take the enemy down with your Gardevoir with Destiny Bond.
- Await bawww.
Gallery of faggotry
||About missing Pics
Mother and Daughter fantasy.
This entry says a fact that most Pokéfans dont know or try to ignore.
What did we tell you, motherfucker?!
Master, we'll be together FOREVER!
The result of a Newfag trying to tweak sprites.
This is you and your Gardevoir... You wish.
Gardevoir's pre-evolution is a common target for CP.
CP Involving Kirlia's Pre-Evolution, Ralts.
Another gardefag's dellusional dreams of pure angst.
The owner of the Gardevoir Pillow. Thinks himself as a member of Team Rocket and is currently into a Gardevoir named Emily (wich can fuck up even more this story, as she is kind-hearted, in contrart with Team Rocket's actions/intentions). He has also the power to transform into a human any time he wants (he adopts the form of a black wolf).
To conclude the Team Rocket Trifecta of Fail, comes this cocksucker (but he's actually just on Team Rocket to gain access to some precious intelligence). This enlarged forehead monster "dates" Eloise, an alcoholic and tabagist Kirlia that was born of an abusing mother untill said mother decided to abandon her. Although she clearly shows interest in the forehead monster, it is not known as to why he instills some fear in her.
What happens when you combine a Furry with the fetish for Gardevoirs, the lack of drawing skills, the lust for smoking pot and a nigger (although only niggers and hipsters consume drugs)? This clusterfuck! Like all niggaz, he has a special lust for slutty woman, role portrayed by Sana, his Gardevoir whom he impersonates on his own DA comments, offering herself to pleasure others. He is known for stealing and recoloring images, claiming that he only gave it "his view" (wich can only be interpreted as something that crawled from under his KFC ridden anus). This faggot says himself to be of Team Rocket too, but it's often neglected by the trio above.
Currently has a fetish for Gardies, drawing himself falling in love with Grace in his LoveLost comic. Not much is known as his story is still under development. He is known for having a cool temper, so trolling is hard.
She writes a series of boring, unfunny and badly drawn/written comics called Meh, because she didn't have anything better to come up with. In said comic, she's always bashed by her shiny Ralts, Ramona (a.k.a. Rammy) wich has a vastly superior intelect, although with some huge angst and superiority complex.
Follows the story of Grace, a Gardevoir that fell in love with Mewtwo and their offspring, Emily (wich is, by the way, Death incarnate).
MY HORN! GIVE BACK MY HORN!!
This furfag doesn't have delusions about dating an imaginary being. She, instead, tells us the story of Damian, a faggot male Gardevoir and it's father, Charon, wich lost his chest gem in a battle with a Zoroark wich culminated in him becoming some kind of undead, life-devouring being. Charon was then made into a Creepypasta (the only one known involving Gardevoirs) http://goldenkitsune-queen.deviantart.com/art/Pokemon-The-Call-of-Charon-185543231.
Widely know for his Bigass series Sinners. More info can be found on his article.
Dr. Mack Foxx
Wrote 3 hude wall of texts (The Village Guardian, Project Omega and The Final Strike) about himself turning from an supreme (in every characteristic you can imagine) wolf into a gardevoir, dating another called Aura, wich is some kind of chosen guardian for some god-forsaken village. The story covers pretty much all it's bullshit ridden shenanigans.
The creator of a fanfic called United Through Two Worlds on the Sofurry.com website. In this fanfic the earth dimension is morphing with the pokemon dimension, wich will culminate in the destruction of both universes and it's in that setting that our protagonist falls in love with said creature (Melody). Lot of angst and bad english ahead. This fanfic holds bonus points for pokefags, because it also features a Lucario and the pre-evolution of a Lopunny.
The slayer of Vafika. He pretty much makes everyone in teh main lobby buttmad every second of their miserable lives and insists on Killing the trolls. He is also known for being a leader of sorts, but in the end always end's up Butthurt. He is the only Gardefag who doesn't want to fuck a gardevoir, he's just a lonely motherfucker with a fatal attraction to Gardevoirs. He was recently banned due to excessive master trolling and bringing butthurt to teh afturweendz. In July 2011 he changed his name to Ketzer, probably beause of the major butthurt that ensued after he lost the great shitstorm to the mighty Zizou. Apparently he is nao also a follower of the Church of Zizou, praise be Zizou. He apparently has worshipped KrautMod HeyI forever and zizou is trash to him, OH MAI BLACK JEZUSEZ :O.
This 17-year-old often fantasizes about many Gardevoir having teh secks with humans, most notably male Gardevoir engaging in interspecies yaoi. One of her OCs which she's claimed to have had since she was twelve years old is a godmother Gardevoir who simply goes by her species name, belongs to a 50-something year old British guy, and screws a Gengar and her own human godson, resulting in many illicit lovechildren. Her more recent Gardevoir OCs have also been infused with animal DNA (one Gardevoir with peacock DNA cross-dresses and another with swan DNA is in an intimate relationship with a M-T-F transgendered named Alice). The fuck?