George Herbert Walker Bush
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
George Herbert Walker Bush (born 1876; named after a metaphysical poet, don't you know) better known to family as "Poppy", to fellow U.S. Presidents as "41", to die-hard Republicans as "Jimmy Carter Mk II" and to everyone else as the measly smear of unsatisfactory filling in the Reagan-Clinton historical sandwich, is an oldfag spy and politician and the current patriarch of a (somewhat paradoxical) republican/aristocratic dynasty. According to the most recent reports, it is suspected he is still breathing.
Made his money in oil (or did he? More below) then at some stage, we know not when, he joined the CIA.
During this time he was involved in the assassination of President John F Kennedy.
Handily, the identity of the mastermind behind the assassination was covered up by the Warren Commission, one of whose members was Gerald Ford ... who later became unelected President and appointed GHWB to the position of head of the CIA in 1976. Which just goes to show that it's sometimes what you know as well as who you know.
Within a few years, GHWB had become Ronald Reagan's vice-president, a position of which he took full advantage by trying to have Reagan murdered too.
His plans came to nothing -- by a narrow miss of one gunshot a couple of inches too far to the right of Reagan's heart -- but he didn't get caught (which is the main thing) and so when the Gipper finally toddled off GHWB had a clear run at the presidency. He was elected in 1988 (because his opponent was a greasy bubble called Michael Bukkake), but then got his ass kicked by Bill Clinton in 1992 and fucked off for good (no-one mention Ross Perot, right?)
Nowadays he is chiefly remembered as that grey-faced boring old fart who was W's daddy. Which is ironic, considering exactly how long GHWB has been playing the Power Behind The Throne.
At the time of writing (January 19, 2017) Poppy is in hospital with sudden breathing problems, scheduled to be released the day after the inauguration of Donald Trump. He's obviously trying to establish a water-tight alibi this time.
—GHWB, while being shown round Auschwitz (1989)
GHWB's father was Prescott Bush, a man who made a considerable fortune by trading with Nazi Germany during WWII and was half-heartedly investigated under the Trading With The Enemy Act. The Bush family were later sued by a couple of so-called Auschwitz survivors who claimed the Bushes had financial ties to the fictional death camp (they lost of course, because it never happened). TLDR full history here.
—GHWB accidentally tells the truth for once
Conspiracy fans still claim that Prescott was part of the "Business Plot" that tried to assassinate that ghey commie pinko Franklin Roosevelt and take over in 1933. The "reliable sources" claim otherwise. Figure it for yourself, shithead. Big deal, as every business "man" in Fascist Amerika was out to get Roosevelt, so what.
—so said CRACKED magazine
GHWB is married to Barbara Bush, an alleged female so-called human being that looks more like an albino bullfrog wearing a Jimmy Savile wig.
The former was the state governor who handed Florida's electoral votes to the latter in the still-ambiguous Presidential election of 2000.
Again, it's what you know as well as who you know in this game.
Dynastic manoeuvres in the Gulf
This is interesting because despite his reputation as a historical also-ran, GHWB had taken on Saddam in 1990-91 and forced his army out of Kuwait, but stopped short of invading Iraq itself. At the time, this was regarded as a sign of GHWB's weakness. In retrospect, and given the shit that's gone down in Iraqistan since then, it looks like a pretty clever trick.
Then again, luring Saddam into invading Kuwait in the first place was also a 'pretty clever trick', and was managed by feeding Saddam disinformation to the effect that the USA was not interested in Iraq's historical territorial disputes with Kuwait.
The key moment of the transcript of the meeting between Saddam and US Ambassador April Glaspie reads:
—Ambassador Glaspie, 25 July 1990 -- one week before Saddam invaded Kuwait
After having apparently shone the green light for Saddam to invade Kuwait, and for the USA to declare war in order to force him back out again, Glaspie later claimed rather lamely that she didn't think that he was going to invade ALL of Kuwait.
Ambassador Glaspie's last known public statement on the matter was that she had been the victim of "deliberate deception on a major scale".
Not really much of a surprise that Saddam felt like killing GHWB, is it?
That is, if the whole thing wasn't disinformation being peddled by GHWB himself.
—GHWB, when asked where he was when JFK was shot
On 20 November 1963, an advert in the Dallas Morning News announced that George Bush -- as CEO of the Zapata Off-Shore Drilling Company -- would speak before the American Association of Oilwell Drilling contractors the following day, at 6:30pm at the Sheraton-Dallas Hotel.
An FBI memo dated the day of the assassination records: “At 1:45 p.m. Mr. GEORGE H. W. BUSH, President of the Zapata Off-Shore Drilling Company, Houston, Texas, residence 5525 Briar, Houston, telephonically furnished this following information to writer by a long distance telephone call from Tyler, Texas.”
“Bush stated that he wanted to be kept confidential but wanted to furnish hearsay that he recalled hearing in recount weeks, the day and source unknown.”
Bush supposedly suspected a James Parrott, a student at the University of Texas, who had been talking of assassinating JFK when the president came to Houston. The "tip-off" turned out to be pointless, as A Disturbed LonerTM called Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested while Bush was still on the phone (at 1.47pm).
Tyler, where Bush made the call, is approximately 100 miles south-east of Dallas -- a distance that could easily be travelled in the one and a quarter hours since the assassination (at 12.30pm).
Bush told the FBI that he was going to be at the Sheraton-Dallas Hotel that evening, returning to his residence in Houston the next day.
So, Bush supposedly went to a hotel in Dallas the evening before the assassination, then popped up 97 miles away to the south-east in Tyler around an hour after the assassination. There he made a pointless telephone call, then returned 97 miles north-west to the same hotel in Dallas that evening for no apparent reason where he spent the night before going home to Houston (335 miles back to the south-east of Dallas but only 189 miles away from Tyler).
Yup, that makes sense, doesn't it?
On 29 November, FBI director J. Edgar Hoover wrote that on the day after the assassination the State Department had learned that “some misguided anti-Castro group might capitalize on the present situation and undertake an unauthorized raid against Cuba, believing that the assassination of President John F. Kennedy might herald a change in U.S. policy, which is not true.”
Hoover noted that “Mr. George Bush of the Central Intelligence Agency” furnished the background information contained in the report.
There was another George Bush (middle name William) working for the CIA at the time, but he later swore an affidavit (PDF) that the George Bush in the memo was not him.
A tale of two Georges
George de Mohrenschildt was a 1938 Russian immigrant to the US who later befriended Disturbed LonerTM and fellow Russian-speaker Lee Harvey Oswald while he was resident in Dallas and even helped him find his job. De Mohrenschildt claimed he asked the CIA about whether Oswald was "safe" to know, and that the CIA told him Oswald was "a harmless lunatic". The CIA officer named by de Mohrenschildt has denied this. De Mohrenschildt remained Oswald's friend until the day Jack Ruby shot him.
Upon de Mohrenschildt's arrival in America, MI6 reportedly told the US that he was working for German intelligence, and he was put under FBI surveillance. He worked at a New York company whose employees included a French intelligence agent. De Mohrenschildt claimed that the pair spied on people involved in "pro-German" activities, such as bidding for leases on behalf of Germany.
De Mohrenschildt's brother Dimitri was a rabid anti-Communist and member of the CIA's predecessor, the OSS. He was also one of the founders of the CIA's Radio Free Europe and Radio Liberty propaganda stations.
De Mohrenschildt became acquainted with the young Jacqueline Bouvier, who called him "Uncle George" and who went on to marry John F. Kennedy.
De Mohrenschildt's nephew was room-mate with GHWB at university, and de Mohrenschildt became friendly with Bush, the two exchanging occasional letters and keeping in touch.
Small world, isn't it?
In 1976, shortly after the House Select Committee on Assassinations was convened in order to re-investigate the JFK killing, de Mohrenschildt wrote to GHWB in his capacity as CIA Director:
Oddly, there is no record of any prior letters asking GHWB for help, so de Mohrenschildt's previous attempts must have been made by telephone.
GHWB wrote back:
On 16 March 1977, de Mohrenschildt received a business card from an investigator for the Select Committee asking to interview him as a "crucial witness".
That afternoon, de Mohrenschildt was found dead from a shotgun blast to the head. In his pocket was his address book, which contained the telephone number of GHWB's Zapata Oil company.
There was no suicide note. The coroner's verdict was suicide.
In the late 1970s, GHWB declared that he was going to run for president in 1980's election.
In 1979, he attended 850 political events, clocking up over 250,000 miles on the campaign trail.
On 5 May 1979, Secret Service agents inspecting the Civic Center Mall, Los Angeles, found A Disturbed LonerTM called Raymond Lee Harvey carrying a starter pistol and 70 blank rounds, ten minutes before President Jimmy Carter was to give a speech there.
He told police that he was part of a four-man Carter assassination squad having been approached by three Latino men staying at the nearby Alan Hotel.
LA pigs found that a room in the Alan Hotel had been rented by someone giving their name as "Umberto Camacho" who had checked out that day, leaving behind a shotgun case and three unspent rounds of ammunition.
Raymond Lee Harvey gave a description of a conspirator called "Julio", and later identified him as a young Mexican whose real name turned out to be ...
... Osvaldo Espinoza Ortiz.
Neat, huh? Sauce
In 1980, having previously denounced Ronald Reagan for peddling "Voodoo economics" and having then been trounced by Reagan as the GOP's prospective candidate in the NH Primaries, GHWB had an unexplained change of heart and became Reagan's running mate on that year's presidential ticket. The pair were duly elected.
A few months later, in early March 1981, White House press secretary James Brady told reporters: “(Vice President) Bush is functioning much like (Raygun's) co-president. George is involved in all the national security stuff because of his special background as CIA director. All the budget working groups he was there, the economic working groups, the Cabinet meetings. He is included in almost all the meetings."
On 30 March 1981, A Disturbed LonerTM called John Hinckley Jr shot President Raygun at close range but didn't manage to snuff the senile old cunt.
In a further instance of small world syndrome, GHWB's family was personally acquainted with Hinckley's -- so much so, in fact, that on the day Reagan was shot, John Jr's brother Scott was due to pop round for dinner at the Denver home of GHWB's no-mark son Neil.
The Hinckley family's oil company -- oh yeah, did I mention they were in the same line of work as the Bush family? -- was warned a few hours before the shooting that it faced a $2m fine for overpricing its oil. The possible charges were apparently forgotten after Reagan was shot. Blackmail? Who mentioned blackmail?
In 1978, young W Bush had lived in Lubbock, Texas where he ran (unsuccessfully, of course) for Congress. John Hinckley Jr lived in Lubbock during the same period, but W did not recall meeting the suspect, saying: "It's certainly conceivable that I met him or might have been introduced to him. I don't recognize his face from the brief, kind of distorted thing they had on TV and the name doesn't ring any bells."
At the moment of the shooting, GHWB was in Texas again. This time he made sure that he was highly visible, unveiling a plaque at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Fort Worth, designating it as a national historic site.
The Hyatt was the hotel where John F. Kennedy spent the last night of his life. Moar info here.
And of course ...
ZOMG GHWB is teh reptilianz!!!!
Not to be confused with
- Disturbed LonersTM John Hinckley Jr, Mark Chapman and Robert Bardo, and The Catcher in the Rye
- The original target of Disturbed LonerTM Robert Bardo
- The GHWB Presidential Library