Getfirefox

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Getfirefox.com is a site that took fanboyism to an art form. It consists completely of basement dwellers devoting the better part of their day to making sure their favorite program reigns supreme over all. Even if that means banning you, deleting you, and even possible attempting to hack you if you ever see this.


The Mission

The mission of getfirefox.com is to ensure that the browser Firefox manages to take over the world and make us brain-dead slaves to their evil will when they attempt to mobilize fleets to conquer other worlds in the hopes of then conquering the galaxy, then the whole universe, thus ensuring that a reign of horror will last for millenia to come, before Microsoft and/or Google.

This will be achieved by building a giant war machine that is fueled by nerdly devotion and 8% diesel and the decaying remains of slain Internet Explorer users. The machine will have the destructive force of over 9000 atom bombs, and will have the capability to destroy an area of 700 square kilometers.

The Firefox War-Machine

The Means

Since the majority of Firefox users are pasty white nerds with nothing to do but masturbate in their spare time, they repeatedly (over and fucking over) write bland, generic reviews that could be summed up with "FIREFOX IS GREAT AND IF YOU DON'T USE IT YOU ARE A WINDOW$ SLAVE!111" enough times so that everyone will download their awful, horrible shit-smeared browser just to shut them the fuck up.

Another front the getfirefox.com's elite nerd squadron is assaulting is the credibility of other browsers. Every small, insignificant problem every other browser has will be blown ridiculously out of proportion, then publicly insulted, then have a cactus shoved in the ass. However, they eventually run out of Mountain Dew and go to sleep.

A New Hope

A brave intergalactic hero has been sent back in time 500 years to Earth, disguised as a blogger, with the mission of stopping this crisis before it begins. He has begun by creating a page named "Firefox Myths" [1], which is the first step towards neutralizing this deadly threat. However, the Firefox soldiers have realized his plan and have already initiated their counter-attack procedures: banning people who see it and attempted to hack them or Google bomb the site to a ridiculous title.

How You Can Help!

Troll Firefox fanboys at every given opportunity. This will hopefully slow their war-machine construction and allow the intergalactic hero to save us all. God speed, comrade.

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