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Ghost

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Did You Know: Ghost makes money from all you failtrolls that tune in? A true capitalist is he.


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This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.

Thanks, America.




Ghost's helper: "The Engineer" (A.K.A. Ghost pretending he has friends)

The Host They Call Ghost is a fat, racist, alcoholic, Alex Jones wanna-be who runs his show, TRUE CAPITALIST RADIO, out of his Texas home trailer home, while claiming to have an actual "studio" from which he operates and has thousands of listeners THROUGHOUT THE WOOOOOORRRLLLLDDD!!! listening in on his broadcast. His show was previously called "True Conservative Radio", where he spewed out his extreme far-right views, projected his Internet Tough Guy persona, and raged at prank callers and liberals until he withdrew into an alcoholic coma for a few months because of his disgust with Sarah Palin being the face of the GOP. His show was reborn like an overweight, drunken phoenix stumbling out of Texan wildfire ashes as ""True Capitalist Radio"", where he spewed out his extreme far-right views, projected his Internet Tough Guy persona, suffered from a terminal case of USI and raged at prank callers and liberals. Only this time he now identified not as a conservative, but a "Capitalist", which basically meant that he was so far-right that he even scared the other BTR hosts. Despite trying to conduct a serious broadcast in an attempt to be emulate successful Conservative radio show hosts like Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage, his Hulk-like temper and tendencies to rage at inane trolls instead derailed his show into a troll olympics where over 400 trolls competed to make him flip his shit. He can be considered more of a newfag's best friend than McKay Hatch and Alex Wuori integrated into some sort of ultimate lol-cow. Ghost's lack of radio and all around technical experience can be demonstrated by the fact that his show is hosted on BlogTalkRadio, the YouTube of radio blogging, and his reliance on a mentally disabled fellow Texan with an incomprehensible speech impediment known only as "The Engineer" who fails at both screening calls and phonetic pronunciation. Despite hosting his failure of a show since 2008, its only in 2010 when his show was raided by 4chan did he finally received the fame he desperately deserved. Ghost finally rage quit his dead horse of a broadcast in 2012 when he became sober enough to wedge his fat folds from his out of his chair. He leaves behind a legacy of broadcasts filled with absurd rage-fueled rants and a goldmine of prank calls, a slew of hacked twitter accounts, and 2 followers who took his advice seriously consisting of Goofybone, an illiterate Mexican who ripped off his show and Karaszkun, an autistic manchild who Ghost fawned over. Truly, Ghost is the prognosticator of prognosticators.


An example of a typical intellectual discussion on True Capitalist Radio.

Contents

His Show

Ghost's show is 3 hours long, consisting of 3 separate segments which are completely ignored when Ghost is either derailed by trolls, auto-trolling himself when he rants so hard that it results in him having a heart attack on live air followed by 10 minutes of wheezing and coughing, getting so angry that he plays the Nyan Cat song while singing along in a bizarre goat impression for 12 minutes, BTR's shitty service shorting out his show early, the Engineer hijacking his show when he passes out, or rage quiting his show when epicly trolled by a caller. However, when Ghost's blood sugar is high enough, he conducts his show like so:

  • The Markets

In this segment, Ghost reads off changes in stock entities and commodities while giving advice about what to invest in the future such as investing in chocolate before Valentine's day. Bizarrely, Ghost claims to make money from the stock market every day, even on those that had downturns. One can only attribute this to his brilliant investing advice such as not investing in coffee because only assholes drink it and he is naturally energized by making money and correlating the price of wool with the happiness of "Bull-Nosed Bulldykes". He extends this ecnomic brilliance to his advice on gaining capital, which is to ignore higher education and that the only way to success consists of working at GameStop for five years and then blowing all of one's money in the failing stock market. This evidence has also lead our best researchers to conclude that Ghost must be an angry high school dropout working two janitor jobs to support his alcoholism. Also to note is that he opens up his first beer in the beginning of this segment and opens a second one at the end.

  • The News

Ghost puts on his best Alex Jones impersonation and talks about current events while injecting his batshit insane farright views on them. Just try to imagine an even fatter, more racist Rush Limbaugh who lapses into rage-fueled rants about liberals, communists, Howard Stern, being compared to Alex Jones, the homeless, welfare recipients, Canadians , Americans (who are creating a "Junkyard America"), people who don't shit in toilets, "Fruitbowls", Sarah Palin, callers who are eating chips, Zoey 101, rap music, Beyonce, Australian Transsexuals, Ron Paul, Mexican beer having a black lady on the label, Obama, single mothers, The Death of Capitalism™ and other intellectually stimulating topics. Ghost also takes callers to answer his questions, but will either rage if they are trolling or will mock them if they have an opinion different from his. He also gives Twitter shoutouts and Chatroom shoutouts to people listening or retweeting his broadcast by saying their name live on air. Trolls use this oppurtunity to make him says offensive or disgusting names that offend him or piss him off. Much beer is consumed during this segment. Viewers will note the sound of what appears to be a mountain of beer cans being kicked around when ghost gets angry, also termed "Cans.wav" by fans of the show. Our best researchers suspect that either Ghost drinks such a high volume of beer during every broadcast that the cans end up towering over his desk or he is too much of a fatass to bother cleaning his office.

  • Radio Graffiti

This is the only segment of the show his fans bother to listen to. Ghost dedicates the last half hour for people to call in and play whatever they want for a few seconds before he switches to the next caller. This is his most trolled section of the broadcast as hundreds of trolls call up to make Ghost rage by playing splices of his voice saying racist or offensive stuff, playing songs he hates, remixing his voice onto songs he hates, or pretending to be something he hates. Ghost has rage quit multiple times during this segment. Notable trolls include:

  • The Ghetto Capitalist - A welfare-collecting nigger from Georgia who is constantly coming up with schemes involving food stamps to gain money to buy ribs and calling it capitalism. His calls are notable for the constant sound of a baby crying in the background and for making ghost rage hard.
  • Tub Guy - A gay truck driver who calls from his tub and solicits ghost to join him in sick sexual activites
  • The Internet Buttstalker - An effeminate male who would call up Ghost multiple times on a single show to sexually harass him or asked him to join in on homosexual activities while calling him "baby-buns". Often causing Ghost to either rage-vomit or ragequit but no longer called the show after the bronies took over.
  • Suck Mah Dick Guy - A clever troll who pretends to be a serious caller before chanting "SUCK MAH DIIIICK!".
  • CooDoo17 - A troll who would play remixes that caused ghost to rage quit his broadcast.
  • Asho - An unfunny Mexican immigrant Justin Bieber retard that calls Ghost to annoy him and pretend that hes getting abused by his mother who always go to Applebee's to get double penetrated by some black guys.

Musicians of TCR

  • Alex S - (Or Alexis, how Ghost pronounces it) an anti-brony who makes sick remixes of Ghost's broadcast. Now he sells out and makes songs for other Youtubers and fucking JonTron.
  • Xarahox - A pianist that calls up Ghost to play music on his cheap keyboard but actually pressing his dick on each note as a sign for a homosmex.
  • Celtic Brony - Canadian man/woman/thing who copies NavyHusky on a daily basis and goes to Bronycon.
  • NavyHusky - Nobody cares for NavyHusky anymore.


A typical broadcast


Ghost and...

His Views

Being a proud Texan would be all the information you would need to know about Ghost to deduce that he is overweight, homophobic, racist, nationalistic, ignorant, and holds deranged Tea Party views. However, to compensate for the fact that he could no longer reach his best friend within the canyon of fat that may possibly double as his desk, Ghost goes one further in the batshit insane department. When not bashing liberals or gays, he states that he believes that we must "metaphorically" (Read "literally") "throw the old people off the cliff" because the baby boomer generation is clearly conspiring to demolish America as we know it. He also believes that all the poor people are mooching off of da gubmint cheese and living lavish lifestyles off of foodstamps and we can solve poverty and world hunger in one fell swoop by having the poor people eat each other. In fact, he is so conservative that he alienated himself from the other hosts of BTR by labeling John McCain a turncoat and refusing to support him. He also has a huge rage boner for single mothers and claims that all the kids that call up his show are the result of their mom's visiting Applebee's during happy hour to get some Alabama Black Snake. In fact, ghost just seems to hate all women in general due to his tendency to quickly label female callers as "Skankasauruses" and that any female with a vagina not filled with white cock is probably destroying America. This may be due to the fact that he was teased in high school for being a fat, friendless loser by all the pretty Texan blond girls (Who today are probably fatter than him) which inspired him to get a BS in business and regularly browse r9k. Speaking of 4chan, Ghost has a disturbingly good grasp of memes and modern pop culture despite claiming to be a grandfather, further solidifying the fact that he is a basement dweller. He once even attempted to do an actual barrel roll on his desk only to have the table give out on him for some reason. Ghost also hates Christmas because he never gets good presents from his relatives.

His audience

The audience of his broadcast consist of a rag-tag band of functionally inept misfits whom all suffer from various congenital learning disabilities across the spectrum which he erroneously deems "The Capitalist Army". Due to many of the members of his "army" being 13 year old boys with no conception of a world outside of runescape let alone capitalism, Ghost is subjected to a massive amount of prank calls.

According to Ghost, he desires to organize his audience as an elite force of trolls to target anyone who he considers to be an enemy to his show or anyone he simply doesn't like in methods including raids and posting DOX. Many of people who have witnessed DOX and raid attempts conducted by his retard army will be able to testify that they resulted in nothing more than utter fail.

An interesting fact is that many members of his "Capitalist" Army have been unable to grasp that Ghost's obvious trolling and over the top acting and claims he's made on his show are likely not genuine nor is he a day trader or really broadcasting from am office and more than likely unemployed and collecting government benefits himself as evidence seen in the fact he spends all day on Twitter and in his Paltalk chatroom.



WARNING: Many members of the TCR audience have been using this article as a method of free advertisement as well as to sing the praise of Ghost. Please do your part by removing such things that were mentioned and replacing them with the unbiased, unparalleled truth that is only available on Encyclopedia Dramatica!

Racism

The question that always comes up when dealing with Ghost; is he racist? Considering his heritage, it wouldn't be surprising that Ghost hasn't had a few lynchings (and adipose tissue) under his belt. However, when confronted with accusations of being a racist, Ghost responds that he is a "melting pot of friendship" and "a nice guy". He follows that up by claiming to have friends that "happen to be black". He further proves this claim by having "special guests" on his show such as Tyrone, Paco, Mr. Fortune Cookie, Mahmoud, and Chief Slapahoe which are totally not Ghost doing racist impressions. When confronted with the fact that due to his love of money he is actually a jew he responds by saying that he uses yamakas as coffee filters, which is strange considering that he also says that doesn't drink coffee.

Here is a list of ethnic groups whom Ghost has put down at one time or another (normally, on every broadcast):

Being a melting pot of friendship, Ghost also plays a game called "Guess The Minority" when he hears that a caller has an accent which involve him playing the "Price is Right" theme, guessing that the caller is either an Asian or a Mexican, asking the caller if he is right, ignoring the caller's response when he is obviously wrong, and then claiming that he won and that he "loves this game". Sometime he plays the guess the minority even when the caller is speaking perfect english.

Here's some proof of his loving demeanor:


Alcoholism

Ghost is undoubtedly always slurping down Jim Beam Jonnie Walker Blue Label, Miller High Life, and some kind of German beer (or so he claims) while on the air, causing him to go on alcohol-induced tantrums whenever those damn trolls dare to question his views and beliefs. On a side note, his health seems to be failing rather quickly, seeing as it is not uncommon for him to have heart-attack like fits following by five minutes of coughing and gagging. Of course, all that down home Texas cookin' could very well be causing this. When confronted with the obvious fact that he has a drinking problem, Ghost claims that he isn't an alcoholic but rather that he is a connoisseur. When threatening to rage quit his show, Ghost will often state that he would rather be at a bar on 6th street (a popular shopping area in Texas) drinking watered down liquor.

Gays

Besides hating on liberals, Ghost's favorite group to bash on are homosexuals. Ghost is extremely homophobic and will quickly label any caller that doesn't talk like they have throat cancer a "fruitbowl". He has regularly stated that boys who do not spend quality time with their father will become effeminate males who take it in the pooper. In fact, similarly to Fred Phelps, Ghost talks, thinks, and reads about gay sex and glory holes way more than the average gay man. It has been estimated that if Ghost and Fred Phelps were placed in the same roomLOL DEAD to meet up in hell, their combined closet homosexuality would cause a black hole.

His Vocabulary

Ghost has a surprisingly interesting lingo made up of self-coined terms due to his commitment to not use strong language on his broadcast and to separate his personality from other liberal bashing, ignorant, right-wing radio hosts.


His Own Identity

Despite being bad at internets, Ghost has somehow evaded attempts to Dox him, leaving his power word a mystery. He claims to own brick and mortar businesses as well as broadcasting his show out of an office in downtown Austin. Some speculate Ghost is secretly Alex Jones, while others speculate he's actually Alex Jones' secret fruitbowl wife. Considering that Ghost believes that his wife is the only one NOT out looking for "some Alabama Black Snake", that would give us an indication into what kind of self-loathing closet-case he may be...

... or, he could actually be John Conquest, from Third Coast Music in Austin, Texas; whose company uses the SAME EXACT LOGO!!!

Either way, I guess we'll never know...

But, like any other Jew, he's a shape-shifting lizard.

Or he could be an elaborate troll with lots of money to waste.

Did we mention that he is fat?

BUY YOUR OWN

Ghost has started to sell True Capitalist Shirts, Buttons, and even Baby Bibs at $50 to rip off his fans. Customers have noted that all of the products have shitty quality. If you buy something, and make a youtube video of yourself prancing around with the selected item of clothing, he will follow you on Twitter while laughing his way to the bank.

Ghost and the Shorty Awards

In the first quarter of 2012 Ghost was nominated for a Shorty Award in the category of radio, in which the winner was democratically elected through the "fraud proof method" of voting through Twitter. His main rival for the award was the producer for the Opie and Anthony show who used the Twitter name "notSam". Due to NotSam already being a millionaire, employed and not giving a fuck about an untalented hack, back-water radio show host to see a gain in beating him, victory was made easy for Ghost by his resource of basement-dwellers with endless amounts of free time that allowed them create multiple Twitter accounts.

Ghost continues to believe the delusion he and NotSam were bitter rivals, contradicting the reality of the situation that Ghost was barely a blemish on NotSams ass.


Ghost Throws Away His Cans

On May 22nd, it appears that Penix 2.0 backfired as Ghost's twitter got "hacked" by either Celtic/NCF (both are the same), or someone posing as either and started posting things like My Little Pony porn and tweeting those that Ghost would never normally tweet. On the next day, Ghost comes onto paltalk and finally admits that all his over-exaggerated rage near the end of his broadcasts's run was all fake and acted and also says that he's done with True Capitalist Radio, as unlike his fans, he actually has a personal life he needs to live. This leaves most of his fans and milkylickers both confused and heartbroken as they now they have nothing to waste their time for three hours during most evenings.

But most importantly, Ghost's identity will now forever remain a mystery.



Previous Video  |  Next Video


Videos

And any searches on youtube will result in many "trolling attempts". Some of the best ones we put here:

Previous Video  |  Next Video


And most of the shows consist of just that. As you my have noticed, ghost is on his way to become the next American Idol. He will actually often sing on his show when he is losing his audience for just fake rage quitting again just for him to get attention again.

Remixes


Previous Video  |  Next Video


Memorable Quotes

Due to Ghost's limited vocabulary and wit the following quotes are repeated ad nauseam through out his three hour broadcast. The simpletons that listen to his show find it hilarious each time he says one of these quotes.

   
 

I'M A CAPITALIST! I DESERVE THE RESPECT ACCORDED TO THAT TITLE! I'M SHOOTING PEARLS HERE!
 


 
 

— Ghost believes that believing in a failing economic system is similar to a Medal of Honor

   
 
I'M A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP! I'M A NICE GUY!!! GOOD GOD!
 

 
 

—Ghost when accused that he is a racist

   
 
IT'S TIME TO PLAY EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME AND I'M TALKING ABOUT GUESS THE MINORRRRRITTTTTYYYYYYYYY!!!!
 

 
 

—Ghost on not being a racist

   
 
TEXAS IS THE GREATEST STATE IN THE UNION! DONT YOU MAKE FUN OF TEXAS!
 

 
 

—Ghost on making fun of retards

   
 
HOW ABOUT YOU COME DOWN HERE TO TEXAS AND FLAP YOUR LITTLE MOUTH WITH THAT F U TEXAS NONSENSE
 

 
 

—Ghost being an Internet Tough Guy

   
 
I'M JADED MAN....I MEAN....I'M DEPRESSSED!
 

 
 

—Ghost after getting trolled

   
 
DON'T YOU COMPARE ME TO ALEX GODDAMN JONES! DON'T COMPARE ME TO THAT POT-BELLIED BASTARD! HE RIPS ME OFF! HE RIPS ME OFF!
 

 
 

   
 
DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MAH GRANNY!.....*WHEEZE*.......*WHEEZE*.....*WHEEZE*.....I'LL STOMP A MUDHOLE IN YOUR ASS!
 

 
 

—Ghost is very touchy about people making fun of his grandmother

   
 
YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF...YOUR CYBER HOOLIGANS.... YOU CYBER VERMIN!!!!
 

 
 

—Ghost on trolls

   
 
I mean I don't get it man. I mean who would go to a bar, stare at some guy's hairy ass and say "Yeah, I want that. I'm not going home until I get me a piece of that"?
 

 
 

—Ghost on gays

   
 
HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE ABOUT 10 STEPS AWAY FROM MY BUTTCRACK
 

 
 

— Ghost on you

   
 
YOU KNOW WHERE THEIR MOTHERS ARE? THEY ARE AT HAPPY HOUR AT T.G.I FRIDAYS GETTING A HIGH HARD ONE FROM A MINORITY IN A LEATHER JACKET
 

 
 

—Ghost usually says a variation of this when confronted with little kids.

   
 
I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU ARE, GO TO YOUR HOUSE, BEAT YOUR ASS, BANG YOUR WIFE, BEAT YOUR DOG, AND DROWN YOUR GODDAMN GOLDFISH YOU SORRY SACK OF CRAP!
 

 
 

—When Ghost is angry he can achieve the impossible

   
 
MY ASS BLEEDS FOR THE BRONIES
 

 
 

—Ghost on bronies

   
 
POOPTICKLER? WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS POOP - TICKLER?
 

 
 

— Ghost on Twitter Shoutouts

   
 
And for those of you who say that I'm a racist, hey it's the truth
 

 
 

—Ghost, after his voice was spliced for the first time.

   
 
YOU SON OF A BITCH! IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU SPREADING THESE SLANDEROUS LIES ABOUT ME BEING A RACIST BUT NOW YOU ARE SPLICING MY VOICE?!
 

 
 

—Ghost's reaction after hearing said splice

   
 
I WOULD DO THE CRIME AND DO THE TIME, AND WHEN I STEP INTO PRISON ALL THE MINORITIES WILL HOLD ME UP LIKE I'M A FREAKIN' SULTAN! I WOULD BECOME MR. BLACK PEOPLE
 

 
 

—Ghost on what would happen were he to beat up Eminem

   
 
SATAN IS GOOD, SATAN IS MY PAL
 

 
 

—Ghost on bad microphones

   
 
I SHOULDNT BE WASTING MY TIME WITH YOU IDIOTS! I COULD BE ON 6TH STREET RIGHT NOW HAVING MILLER TIME!
 

 
 

—Ghost on rage quitting

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Gallery

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See Also

External Links

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Ghost is part of a series on My Little Pony



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People

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See Also

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Ghost is part of a series on Dying Alone

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