Ghost Riding

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Ghostridetop.jpg
   
 
If my name was “Ghost Whip,” my middle name would be “Ride The.”
 

 
 

—Some Ghost Rider dipshit on his Ghost Rider dipshit blog.

Car Surfing becomes Ghost Riding when black people do it.
Ghost Riding at a "Hyphy."

Taking elements from hip-hop culture and car surfing, Ghost Riding is an updated form of that decades-old tradition that involves teenage boys doing retarded and drunken things with their cars once they reach the age of sixteen.

History

Patrick Swize
E-40 invented GRA (Ghost Riders Anonymous)

Car surfing originally gained wide popularity in the mid 1980s due to such movies as “Footloose” and “Teen Wolf” where characters in those movies would ride on moving cars. Because American youths are stupid and believe they are invulnerable, and also because most kids want to be movie stars, they emulated these stunts, causing several accidents and mishaps. It is because of such accidents experts believe that the fad wore out. A more likely answer is that some other idiotic fad supplanted car surfing.

During the late 1990’s the fad regained popularity due to such movies as “The Matrix” and television shows like “Jackass” where people were encouraged to hurt themselves for fame. Now, because of such songs as E-40’s “Tell Me When to Go” and Mistah F.A.B’s “Ghost Ride It” the trendy craze continues.

Sydeshows

   
 
They think they're hip, they can't read; they can't write. They're laughing and giggling, and they're going nowhere.
 

 
 

—Bill Cosby, speaking on hip-hop culture.

Sydeshows (or Sideshows) are meetings where kids get together with their parent’s cars, set up their boom boxes, play E-40 as loud as they can, and proceed to destroy as much property as is humanly possible in the shortest amount of time. At sydeshows, the goal actually seems to be to fail.


   
 
Ghost ride was started not to see people succeed, but to see people fail. They want to see people run into trees, run over their foot.
 

 
 

—Jonathan Lovecchio, noted retard and bane of his parents.

Internet Culture

   
 
It has to do with rap music. That's how [the police] said it to me.
 

 
 

—Sheldon Porochnavy’s mother after learning of his Ghost Riding death,
one must wonder how much she really loved her son because she gave him the name “Sheldon.”

With the rise in popularity of such sites as YouTube, now it is possible for millions of imbeciles and morons to share their Ghost Riding videos with each other. While Ghost Riding is illegal and participants at Sydeshows can be charged with criminal behavior, these videos seem to crop up on YouTube at an alarming rate.

Because these videos are popular, owing to the fact that people like to watch other people hurt themselves, the fad has not contained itself to teenagers. There are several online accounts of people above the age of 50 Ghost Riding. How they managed to survive until their 50’s is amazing in itself, but to then tempt fate by Ghost Riding at that age, you know you are dealing with some extremely bright bulbs.

Because this hobby is considered by many to be slightly dangerous, YouTube has been pulling many Ghost Riding videos and angering the Ghost Riding community. This is probably the one time YouTube has done something right.

How To Ghost Ride

Be sure to wear your ski mask, that way you'll look dope.
Doing it wrong.
Doing it right.

Since you are reading Encyclopedia Dramatica, it is safe to assume that you are one of the following:

A)  A teenage boy
B)  Retarded
C)  Drunk/alcoholic
D)  All of the above

Since these facts have been established, it is also safe to assume that after reading this article you will want to go out and pulverize your mom’s Camry. By following these steps, it will be possible for you to do these things in short order.

  1. Obtain a copy of E-40’s single “Tell Me When to Go”
  2. Find your father’s car keys
  3. Wait until your parents are sleeping and then remove the car from the garage
  4. Slowly push the car out of the driveway so that you do not wake anybody
  5. Once down the street, start the engine
  6. Pick up your friends. Make sure to also pick up that creepy guy who nobody likes but has a fake I.D.
  7. Go to an alcohol store. Make sure it is the one where that Iranian guy works because he doesn’t care who he sells beer to
  8. Find large parking lot or street that is not busy
  9. Consume as much cheap beer as possible
  10. Be sure to get Hyphy
  11. Start your car and make sure that the E-40 CD is in the car stereo. Max volume plz
  12. Put the car in drive and allow it to cruise at idle speed
  13. Once the car is moving at about 20 miles an hour, it is time to Ghost Ride. Exit the car via your door and climb on top of it. You can climb on any surface of the car
  14. Run your best friend’s foot over
  15. Scream “I’M KING OF THE WORLD!!!”
  16. Bury the car nose-first in a storm ditch or slam it into a grocery cart corral


Once you have mastered these steps, you will be considered a champion car surfer by your friends and a complete dipshit by pretty much everybody else. One curious side effect of car surfing is that sometimes Ghost Riders (through no skill of their own) will get laid.

Accidents And Deaths

Sheldon Porochnavy died of Ghost Riding.
I can't believe 30 chicks actually tried this.
If you are going to Ghost Ride, don't do it in August.
 
 
Mr. Porochnavy's life came to an abrupt end recently on a stretch of highway outside Saskatoon. On his way home from a night in the city, Mr. Porochnavy fell backward from a moving vehicle, hit his head on the pavement and died later in hospital.
 

 

—From that dipshit’s blog.


Ghost Riding has been the cause of several deaths over the years. A quick scan on Google will net about 8 reported deaths. This number is a fabrication as most Ghost Riders are drunk when they are performing their jocular exploits. This causes police and emergency personnel to attribute the cause of death as “Alcohol Related” because with inflated alcohol related deaths, they get more tax money and stricter laws concerning driving while intoxicated. Putting “Being a dumbass” down on a death certificate will garner no tax dollars.

Legality/Awesomeness

Ghost Riding is extremely illegal, but that doesn’t stop your average dope from taking part in it. Here is one sad tale of woe and the brilliant follow up that occurred the next day:

 
 
Hello, My name is Greg. I Live in Lafayette Louisiana. Me and my friends love to ghost ride. So let me go to the story.

So me and my friends after school went to an old vacant parking lot. There was about 40 people and 30 cars. We got in a couple of cars and started to ghost ride around the parking lot. We were there for about 45 min and before we know it there are TV cameras filming us. So we all scatter laughing our asses off. Its all good fun right? Well the Lafayette Police Dept and our school didn’t think so.

Come to find out we are the headline in the news that night and again the next morning. We we get to school the dean of students calls us out of class and has a police officer waiting for us. 5 people got reckless operation tickets and numerous other were suspended! this is crazy all we are doin is trying to have a little fun.

The news described "ghost riding" as putting your car on cruise control at 20 or 30 and getting out of your car and dancing on it. This has blown my mind that it turned into such a big ordeal.
 


 

—They raise some rocket scientists in Lafayette don’t they?

The follow up to Greg’s story is located at the following links:

Why Ghostriding Is Encouraged

As Charles Darwin once said, Natural Selection is the process of filtering out indiviual animals from the environment that do not have the necessary traits to survive, leaving only the best-adapted ones to pass on their genes and thus increase the trait's presence, allowing them to survive even better. Sometimes a species' weak ones will have certain behavioural traits that will actually help those weak individuals die or be killed, helping that gene to filter itself out of the gene pool. For example, in human society, the most intelligent ones survive and the stupid ones do not; here, the example of the mutant behavioural trait is acting moronic, guaranteeing the individual's death, and helping to filter stupidity out of the gene pool.

There are a certain subspecies of human in which this mutant "fucktard" gene can be found predominantly. The American juvenile, as mentioned above, believes himself to be invulnerable, and will instinctively try anything stupid, ensuring that he will die. Thus, the stupid ones will eventually be removed from the American gene-pool. So, car-surfing (one such example of the trait) will kill him, helping to remove one more fucktard from their gene pool.

TL; DR: If you, the reader, happen to be an American teenager, car-surfing is highly encouraged as a form of eugenics, aside from the fact that we all hate you. For the good of humanity -- and if your weight doesn't prevent you -- GET ON THE BONNET.

How To Win

How many points do you get for being placed under arrest?

The object of most games is to win and Ghost Riding is no different. Here is a handy guide for grading your Ghost Riding experience that awards or subtracts points depending on variables that occur while you are Ghosting:

11.  Being shitfaced = +15 points
10.  Acrobatics = +10 points
9.   Being Asian = -10 points
8.   Wearing Nascar jackets = -35 points
7.   Being Nascar fans = -95 points
6.   Not playing E-40 = -50 points
5.   Being Asian = -75 points
4.   Don't shake the baby.
3.   Not being on the road = -40 points
2.   Not ghost riding the whip = -1000 points
1.   "You ain't ghostriding nigga!" = +2500 points

This point system was found on a Ghost Riding blog and we at Encyclopedia Dramatica have no fucking idea what most of it means. We do, however, understand that they don't like Asians. LOL THEY SAID IT TWO TIMES!

Quotes

   
 
I been driving since I was 12. I know what I’m doing. Ok so I don’t have a point right now I’m just very angry and getting some stuff out.
 

 
 

—An expert... at age 12

   
 

Man Ghost riding the whip is sooooooooooooo cool. Wait. Nope. Please go kill yourself while you’re still ahead(?). I use ahead questionably because I'm not really sure you could get any farther behind. Please also, if you are injured while ghost riding please make sure it is fatal I don't want to pay for your disabilities. I like the artwork you posted too. Crayons are sweet.
 


 
 

—Posted by anonymous

   
 

I thank you for your efforts to cleanse the gene pool by working on ways to exit it.
 


 
 

—Charles Darwin

   
 

He further thanks you for doing this in a parking lot where the only other people who would be harmed are similarly mentally deficient morons.
 


 
 

—Charles Darwin’s friend

   
 

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?? get a grip here. is everyone in the south this retarded? is it because you marry your cousins? were you dropped on your head as a child? you can't even speak or write English properly. this country is going to hell in a handbasket.
 


 
 

—His next line was “Get off my lawn”

   
 

To all you ghost riders out there, go back to trying to break your neck and your car in real life. This game ain't for you.
 


 
 

—Gamespot’s review of the “Pimp My Ride” video game.

   
 

Wow, head on with a parked car. Now, I'm no Rhodes Scholar, but it seems to me that you'd have to be a different kind of stupid to have this happen to you.
 


 
 

—No, you are no Rhodes Scholar…

   
 

To all the haters: At least he died doing something totally off the chain. How are you going to die? A heart attack? Yeah you're really going to look like a pimp when you're all like "Oh no! I'm having a heart attack." Personally I'm not going to go out like a punk. Yeah I might die hitting my head on a mailbox, but at least I'll be keepin it real.
 


 
 

—Facepalm

   
 

we are so cool. we had a ginormous ghostridingthewhip convoy.. others were ghost riding as well.
 


 
 

—Hopefully you will be the coolest dumbass in the morgue.

   
 

It is good to see ghost riding the whip evolving into a team activity. Team sports are a great way to build leadership skills.
 


 
 

—Team stupidity

   
 

The best car you can ghost ride is a Saturn. If something goes wrong, it's a $10 fix, plus owning one gets you 10 ePeen points.
 


 
 

—TTT

Lyrics

To help understand this culture, it is probably a wise idea to take a look at the lyrics for two of the most popular Ghost Riding songs. No, the more that I think about the crappy lyrics, the more I believe that it is not wise to look at them. It is for that reason that I am putting them in a morph. Scroll past quickly.

E-40 - Tell Me When To Go (feat Keak Da Sneak)

[[Make it stop][Tell Me When To Go]]

Tell me when to go... x 4
Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb
Uugh. Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake em
I aint got none, but I’m planning on growing some
Imagine all the Hebrews going dumb
Dancing on top of chariots and turning tight ones (eeerrrrr)
Ooh, tell me when to go (dumb)
Talking on my ghettro on the way to the store
... My 2nd or 3rd trip
Some Henny, some Swishers and some Listerine strips
Dr. Greenthumb lift, just to ease my thoughts
Not just the cops, but the homies you got to watch
The moon is full, look at the dark clouds
Sitting in my scraper, watching Oakland go wild... Ta-dow
I don’t bump mainstream, I knock underground
All that other shit, sugar-coated and watered down
I’m from the Bay where we hyphy and go dumb
From the soil where them rappers be getting their lingo from
Tell me when to go... x 4
Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb
I’m off that 18 dummie juice
... Like a mayne, labeled the Black Zeus
King of the super dooper hyphy (hyphy, hyphy, hyphy, hyphy)
And your wifey, she don’t like me (like me, like me, like me, like me)
From the Bay to the A
Put me in the back wood, Swisher sweet bud, go to the store
It's good it's dope its just some shit I wrote, I said they couldn’t be saved by John the pope (the pope)
I slid past on the gas, bitches looking at me
It’s good, it’s good like the granddaddy
Cross game, you get flipped like a burger patty
Or zig-zagged... pass me a big old fatty
... I drink white, with a s*N*ow bunny
Talking big shit in the scrapper, going hella dummy
1800, JOSE CUERVO
Yaddadamean, yaddada I’m saying though
Tell me when to go... x 4
Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb
Ghost-ride the whip
Now... Scrape
Put your stunna shades on
Now... Gas, brake, dip, dip
Shake them dreads
Let me see you show your grill
Now... Thizz face
Doors open, mayne
Now... Watch em swang
Go stupid, go (dumb, dumb)
Tell me when to go... x 4
Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb



Ghost Ride It – Mistah Fab

[[Make it stop][Ghost Ride It]]

yea man dis` ya` boy mistah fab mayn
the yellow bus rider mayn
shawn t the real king of slaps mayn
yall better act like yall know who his is mayn [chyeah`]
let me give you a 101 on how to ghost ride
look, the streets know what just this is
ghost ride the whip up and down the strip
the ghost bustas, they the police
always wanna pull a nigga over for his piece
not me, i get it in a scrape
tiremarks on the street lookin like figure 8's
sideshow, you know where im going
from the north to the east incase you aint knowin
baaayyyy bizzz
a town politic
hit club late now trying ta holla at a chick
cant get in the club, gotta parkin' lot pimp
heyy lil mama come holla at a pimp
what you know about, gettin' you a whip
buy ya self some shoes and then your car kicks
ice up ya neck, ya hands and ya whip
just to hang out the window and stuntin' wit ya click
When you get a new car [ uh huh uh huh ]
and ya feeling like a star [ ok ok ]
what you gon do [ what cha gon do, what cha gon do ]
GHOST RIDE IT
ghost ride cha whip
pull up hop out, all in one motion
dancing on the hood, while the car still rollin'
stuntin', shinin', flamboostin'
on one high, off that potion
windows downnn, feet out of it
damn that boy high, he out of it
thizzin' t grettin, and gridin
ice in his mouf, you know he big timin'
chevys, buicks, regals, and ribbys tho
first i seen ghost ride, was critty bo
goin' dumb, party like ditty do
mistah fab im the prince of the city hoe
ghost ride, ghost ride
get out the way, let casper drive
ghost ride, go crazy
who that drivin? patrick swaize!
when you get a new car [ uh huh uh huh ]
and ya feeling like a star [ ok ok ]
what you gon do [ what cha gon do, what cha gon do ]
GHOST RIDE IT
ghost ride cha whip
now stop stop stop stop
now go go go go
get out the car [ get out the car ]
let it roll, let it roll
let it roll, let it roll
tap that wheel [ tap that ]
open up tha door [ open up the doo ]
now thats ghost ridin', whats ghost ridin'
ya kno, ya kno, ya kno, now ya know
its not that hard, you can do it
cha wanna go dumb, just loose it
bay game, bay slang
its a bay thang
so just know when you come to tha bay mayn
stunnas is glasses
thizz is pills
rippers is brawds
scrapers automobiles
hyphy is hyper
our version of crunk
thizzin is high
and perkin' is drunk
when you get a new car [ uh huh uh huh ]
and ya feeling like a star [ ok ok ]
what you gon do [ what cha gon do, what cha gon do ]
GHOST RIDE IT
ghost ride cha whip


Gallery

Ghost Riding Videos


A couple white guys ghost-riding the Volvo and somehow actually doing it right.

Fucking LOL

Lame Canadian ghost riders

This is about as fucked up as it gets.

Grandma and Grandpa ghost ride the whip

Mayne I gots some 40 inch rims up on this muhfugga

Ghost Riding compilation featuring Patrick Swayze.

Ghost ride Iraq! Supposedly, these dumbasses got court martialed for this.

Canadian Lawnmower Ghostri-...hm....

Hip-Hop Videos About Ghost Riding


Mistah Fab's official video for Ghost Ride It

Traxamillion feat. Too $hort and Mistah FAB - "Sideshow"

Ghostride the Whip movie trailer - mac dre, keak da sneak.

E-40 featuring keak da sneak Tell Me When To Go

I don’t even know what this guy is saying.

See Also

External Links


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