From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Girl Gamers are women who believe they are good at the vidya. Their favorite games will always include Farmville, Halo 3, Wii Sports and Mario Party. Now you know why the iPhone is considered a gaming platform by some dipshits. GRRRRRL GAMURS are effectively the cancer of video gaming and has led to the creation of shitty sites like these. They are also breaking the one important rule which is no girls on the Internet.
Yes we do exist! Leave me alone you silly boys~
Obviously, Girl Gamers are subject to being infected with GOTIS. When a girl joins a clan, all the male members will shit themselves and flock to her, essentially grooming her and immediately giving her the second highest rank in the clan, which she will abuse like a Feminazi until all the members of the clan worship her twice a day in return for the promise of sexual favors (which they will never ever get). Girl Gamers are pretty much full of themselves, filling their profile with the same old "Ewww don't touch me boiiis" bullshit while totally asking for it.
The problem with gamer girls is they don't realize that not putting stupid bullshit in your profile in the first place will keep their identity safe to begin with. After that they can give away their sexual identity at their own discretion. But nooooooooooooooo, spamming it with the same old quotes wasn't enough.
Some figures are just too high. According to research firm IBISWorld, 38 percent of U.S. gamers are female, up from 33 percent in just five years ago! This claim is invalid as these GURRL GAMERS are again sucked into Wii/DS bullshit.
Stop shooting me >.<
No matter how much bullshit they spew, girls simply cannot play games. They will complain about the game being too "hard" even if it is just a casual FPS game. Instead they will consider playing mediocre Wii games as gaming even though it's the same old party crap that even old people can master.
If they lose, girl gamers will throw tantrums about it and bitch to admins to give them godmode or whatever. They will most likely go ahead and do it under the assumption they will get laid. If they are teamkilled on purpose they will never let you hear the end of it.
Even more, Wikipedia actively defends girl gamers. They are willing to keep an article on Girl Gamers to the point of protecting it, but are happy to delete an article for the opposite sex. This is due to Wikipedos want to show how much they love their loli.
A Perfect Example
Classic Girl Rage Video
How to be a GURRRRRRL GAMER
- Make a profile somewhere, preferably Steam.
- Set your display pic to yourself, preferably using cleavage or some sort of skin exposure. Make sure it's a fat girl angle shot, you obese fuck.
- Flesh your profile out with lines such as "yes we do exist" and/or "no I won't date you" etc etc.
- Put "sexy" and/or "girl gamer" in your nickname. This will make it extremely obvious to retards who haven't heard of trolls.
- Keep saying the word "like" in every sentence like, every three other words like, apart.
- Constantly rub your GURRRL GAMERness in people's faces. EVERYONE must know. At the same time tell them nobody is allowed to date you.
- Circlejerk with other women and troll guilds and clans just by joining them. Hopefully the clan's owner will give you infinite power.
- Mention GURLLL POWAH every two minutes and remind everyone you're not looking for attention.
- Ask for free stuff in return for naked pictures of you that you really found off Jewgle. Do not get caught doing this, hire a camwhore to take pics instead.
- Get a microphone and use it in games. Act as much of a slut as possible. Make sure you're not joining a server of nerds as they will not take your shit.
- Be completely shit at games. Fuck around instead of following the objectives and moan whenever you get shot at.
Any dipshit teenage girl can do it. So can you! A stolen display pic plus effective use of a voice changer followed by lowering your grammar standards to something Kimmo Alm would suicide over = easy trolling. Enjoy your perfect psychological operations because noone will ever catch you.
Cancering up Steam
Since Valve gave in to the faggots at Apple, Steam has become so user-friendly even inferior females can use it correctly. Of course they can't figure out how to control themselves in an FPS, but they will still be fucking annoying over the microphone instead. Pls resort to spraying porn everywhere whilst on TF2 in the hopes it'll scare the kids and the girls away.
Things you should know before dating a gamer girl
So you're a basement-dwelling loser and you have no friends. You just browse the Internet erry day and night. Not to worry, there are gamer girls who are fat and lonely as you are. Do you really think they are hot when they are... playing video games... all the time? Hint: They are not.
- They are most likely fat.
- All her white knight fans will get jealous.
- They are probably already a furry and/or a weeb because it's so kawaii to be one and/or they wanted to fit in.
- Like every spoiled bitch, she will slowly milk you dry of money, you Beta loser.
- You will never ever fuck her.
- It's a trap
Girl Gamers are such whores
In an attempt to make women believe they have no place on the Internets or on consoles, many decent, upstanding males have begun to fight back by making women back off from them. It has worked to some degree since it has led to a trend of people just telling the whore to STFU whenever she opens her mouth in CS:S. Some admins are even resorting to banning anyone who white knights for a girl gamer. Victory is ours, gentlemen.
- 16-year-old girls
- 12 year old girls
- The Big Bang Theory - Every girl gamer's favorite show.
- Special Snowflake Syndrome
- Yes, we do exist!
- Yes, we must repeat this all the time!
- Don't hit on us~!
- Almost 20,000 users? BLAST IT WITH PISS
- Get banned for being a lesbian because you can't fuck a lesbian.
- THE ONLY CURE TO COMBAT THIS CANCER
Girl Gamer is part of a series on
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.