|ALERT: THIS IS A FORCED MEME|
|Girugamesh will be posted by the same|
unfunny newfag until you like it.
The video was discovered by 4chan's /cgl/ board and was first disseminated amongst all the regular dress-up faggotry and Cons nonsense that fills the board. By virtue of it being animu related, it soon made its way to /a/ in the form of a screencap of a fat weeaboo taken from the ad. Somehow it found its way to /v/, /jp/, and /b/, and from there it turned into a shitstorm.
On the eve of March 10th, 2009, /a/ was bot-spammed from an unknown poster with the Girugamesh icon that an /a/non had made minutes before. /a/ eventually got over the spamming, though not before several /a/non posted their variations of the picture, including the infamous Muk picture that later a /b/tard would claim as his own. Soon /b/ started bot-spamming itself (most likely an /a/non who lurked /b/) with post after post of Girugamesh guy's fugly mug, and it spread like a virulent, malignant cancer all over /b/ until nearly every thread was the Girugamesh guy. /b/tards responded by leaving, combo breaking or shooping the faggot's head onto every old meme they could think of - a sad state of affairs that illustrates the death of original content and the depths to which *chanfags have stooped in attempting creativity. A week later on March 17th, 2009, yet another Girugamesh shitstorm began. The difference this time being it wasn't just restricted to /b/. /a/, /b/, /x/, /v/, and a few other boards were hit hard for several hours. This time, /b/ did little to nothing to counter attack other than silently praying to Raptor Jesus and crying to the mods who, as usual, were too busy fapping to do anything.
By the time 4chan's faggot mods had disembarked their daily mantrain, shit had pretty much died down. They did, however, start flailing away with the 4chan banhammers nailing more than one innocent bystander.
Several other memes were made on /a/ before Girugamesh rose up. Most of them came from misunderstandings in the video. Some were the "AND GAY MEN" guy (originally known as the GANGBANG guy), the MILD DECAY fatass, the AND MANGAAAAAAAAAAA chick-dude, and finally (and a favorite) the sushi guy who was originally believed to be angry with the japanophilies in the video. The latter had many threads made about him, including his eventual suicide, his renouncing of being Japanese, and of course, his attack on the freaks.
—A humorless fuck from Sakura-Con on the Anime convention discussion list 
"I LOVE SUSHI!" exclaimed the woman in the thick-rimmed glasses.
"Ah, excellent," Kobayashi thought contentedly to himself, "they are enjoying themselves."
"I love Japan, period" said the middle-aged man in the blue shirt, slight southern drawl lending a down-home earthiness to his earnest proclamation.
"Oh my, it is such a joy to have such enthusiastic customers!" Kobayashi said to himself, beaming with pride at the delight he had brought to his customers. It was an idyllic day in Kobayashi's small sushi shop. But then things took a turn for the worst. "J-ROCK!" screeched a greasy-haired delinquent, quite obviously high on something.
"Oh my, someone should be watching over that poor child," Kobayashi thought to himself. But, before he could finish that thought, a rotund man burst forth from the masses, the make-up on his face still smeared across his fleshy visage.
"GIRUGAMESH!" the horrifying painted man exclaims, stabbing the air vehemtly with two massive, pudgy digits.
"What has begun here is something terrible," Kobayashi thinks to himself, rooted in place by equal parts fear, and morbid fascination.
"I LOVE ANIME!" shrieks a curiously toupee'd customer, the disparity of voice and adornment calling into question the beast's gender. "AND MANGA" yells the man-lady's back-quatto, the horrifying extra upper torso protruding from the hermaphrodite's back, malign intent dancing across his/her eyes. Kobayashi is speechless at the spectacle unfolding before him.
"AND GAYMEN!" an infernal scarecrow man drunkenly spews forth, every diabolical syllable dripping from his tongue an affront to sanity and dignity.
"Uh...DDR?," says a man quite plainly.
"Finally, a respite from this madness," Kobayashi thought as he heaved a breathless sigh of relief. But what he had seen so far could never prepare him for what came next.
"SMILE D.K." squealed the man's bloated pig-wife, barely managing to stay balanced atop her chair.
As these things happened, a realization dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and love and made it wrong, corrupted it. I can not, no, I will not sit idly by as these creatures from beyond the veil wreak havoc in my shop!"
"HEYYYYYY!" Kobayashi growls, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON NI IKIMAAAAAAAAAASU" he bellows, the traditional war-cry of his family. As Kobayashi leapt over the table, the gathered masses began morphing, face tearing asunder to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth, as new musculature rippled forth from beneath their clothes. Many dropped to all fours, revealing their true bestial nature, snarling and snapping their jaws at Kobayashi. Like a true warrior, however, he dove fearlessly into the throes of battle, slicing sinew and bone alike with a precision afforded him by his years of chef training. He laughed maniacally as bucket upon bucket of blood was spilled, the organs and flesh of his former patrons spewing forth like water down a hill. He and his restaurant alike were soon strewn with every type of viscera, and he gave an animalistic howl to the still-rising moon.
Kobayashi goose-stepped over the knee-high pile of cadavers, and, having finally exited the restaurant, he wiped the blood clean from his cleaver and strode off into the horizon. He knew that he had honored his ancestors with this true act of bravery, and helped to rid the world of a grave evil indeed.
Recently, the Girugamesh guy's Facebook page was discovered. While the benefactor comments that they cannot reveal how they found it, they are 100% certain it is him.
- Girugamesh on Wikipedia - Apparently Pedobear has left the band, but has been replaced by Hard Gay
- Girugamesh MySpace
- Tributary homepage
- German Fan Blog
- Not to be confused with the Epic of Gilgamesh
- Girugamesh Guy's Facebook
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|Featured article March 28, 2009|
Travis the Killer Chimp
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