God Awful Fan Fiction

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This board is HORRIBLE!!!!! How can you be so cruel to fanfic writers!!!! We're just TRYING TO WRITE WHAT WE LIKE AND HAVE FUN!!!!

it's JUST FICION!!! you think you're the armbiter of what IS good fic tion!!! what are you all 12!!!!!!!!!!
 


 
 

—A typical post in the 'Guestbook'

How to be a WGWer

This is where the wank starts.

Your typical WGWer will follow this pattern:

  1. Be fat.
  2. Remember that *HEADDESK BLEACH BLEACH SPORK HEADDESK FACEPALM SPORK SPORK* is a well-thought-out comment.
  3. Complain about trolls at least once per post.
  4. In the next post you write, praise trolls.
  5. Say "NOTHING CAN SQUICK ME!!!1" then yell "SPORK OH GOD BLEACH" at the next Snape/Harry assbaby pic that appears in the fanart forum.
  6. Write Transformers bishie Mpreg yaoi fanfic about robots and hedgehogs having lubeless buttsex. When your fic is found and mocked, bawwww.
  7. Use the phrase: "______KILLED/RAPED/RUINED MY CHILDHOOD" over 9000 times.
  8. ???
  9. Profit!

If a WGWer claims he is squicked by something, chances are he faps to it. A disproportionate number of WGWers are fat, closet furries and/or bitches with Asperger's syndrome. The younger ones are mostly made up of unique, teenage fandom_wank rejects that are too pussy to stomach 4chan.

WGW Celebrities

Knorg: It is said that, to become a true GAFFer, you must be hung by your heels from the turrets of the GAFF tower and lowered down by rope so you may kiss his hairy balls.

Harley Quinn Hyenaholic: Your pet hedgehog will never be the same.

A typical post by Harley

Cyberwulf: A fat Irish feminist furry. I shit you not.

Melissa: All her videos on YouTube have 5 stars, even the ones which don't! AND SHE DIDN'T DRAW ALL THAT MY LITTLE PONY FANART FOR YOU!!!!

anangrychocobo: Failtroll.

Inciter: "im so horny guys lol imma go fuck a stranger whats a condom?"

Chris91: Boring to the point of hilarity. Poke him for lulz.

KGarret: Chris91's true love. It is destined.

Mikey Go WOOGA: HEY GUISE LOL FAP FAP I'M HARDCORE MUDKIPZ THE GAME STEELERS RULE

Sorsa A. Jänis: Some fat chick who can't speak English.

GAFF Through The Ages

First Website

GAFF was founded in 1998, to enable a bunch of people who wrote shitty fan fiction to mock shitty Fan Fiction. Possibly of Jewish origin.

Went ok until the admin turned his back for like five minutes and trolls overran the whole shitshack. Server usage was limited, meaning the fanfiction faggots had to go elsewhere for their lulz.

Having come back, the admin (or "Site Guru") threw a bitchfit and shut the site down, leaving only the following message:


   
 
Well you've certainly managed to make a mess of the place, haven't you? I've taken the forums offline while I clean up the shit and have the carpets dry cleaned.

And after that? It's beyond time we got the forums working properly. Check for updates on the Updates Page, not here. When the forums go online it won't be at this address anyway and you'll miss all the excitement.

Regards, Guru
 


 
 

Replacement Boards

Next to doughnuts and ice cream, GAFF is the biggest need in the life of a fanfiction faggot. Since the true GAFF was taken away, they needed a substitution. Hence, the Temporary Godawful.net Forums were created. These were mostly shitty and run by some faggot whose incessant humping gave the server AIDS.

Second Website

The "Site Guru" bought a new, AIDS-free server for GAFF, finished the creation of the new forums and opened it up to registered members. In a lame attempt to protect these precious boards, anonymous posting was no longer allowed, but trolls managed to make their home there anyway. Nobody bites a troll's bait quite like a GAFFer.

SUDDENLY, BUTTHURT

On December 19th, 2008, at 6:14 AM, The Site Guru made a thread entitled "GAFF is going offline".


   
 
I'll keep it short and sweet. I no longer feel like I can devote the time and the money to keep GAFF going and, more importantly, I no longer really enjoy it all that much. We've had a good, long run - since 1998! - but snarky sites are a dime a dozen these days, unlike back when I started this place, so there are plenty of places for GAFFers to migrate to. I guess I'm just not feeling it anymore.

The server bill will be due on 15th January and I don't intend to pay it. At some point after that GAFF will go down. The exact time and date will depend on our host's good nature. At some point before then I'll take the forum offline just long enough to make one last backup.
 


 
 

—The Site Guru

This left most of the GAFFers not only butthurting about the loss of their beloved hugbox, but also scared shitless about the prospect of having to leave their mother's basement and venture into the real world.

Some members, mostly older ones too addicted to the damp darkness their mother's basement provides, banded together to make a new forum, which was essentially a replacement for GAFF.

House of Bad Fanfiction

"Kittenmommy"'s reaction.

At this point, a new forum was created on a crappy free website by a little-known user named Lolita. The ex-GAFFers (now referring to themselves as HoBFFers) trundled along merrily being butthurt and whining about mpreg, when OMFG DRAMA. As it turned out, Lolita was in fact a 16-year-old girl with a massive jewnose. Some users managed to kick her out (despite her being an admin), but at the last moment a middle-aged catwoman intervened and shut the whole thing down.

...no, seriously, that's exactly what happened.

As it turned out, Dan Lirette and the goons were involved in some capacity, but that's explained in a tl;dr and unfunny way in this shitty article. The slightly more accurate but also tl;dr version of this story can be found here.

Why, God, Why?

GAFF's newest incarnation, found here. As shitty as ever, but prime for the trolling.

See Also

External Links

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[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...]

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