Golden iPod

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Comes with a free crucifix.

The Golden iPod Award is awarded to a person who managed to become an hero (i.e. commit suicide) in a lulzy way that brought joy to the interwebs. There can only be one Golden iPod each year, and the competition is very tough. The first person ever to receive an Golden iPod was Mitchell Henderson, for his drama-inducing self-pwnage and subsequent posthumous pioneering of the phrase "an hero."

Requirements for the Golden iPod Award

  • The person must have become an Hero.
  • There must be drama involved.
  • The person must have become an hero in a lulzy way.

An Hero, 2006


For becoming the first person to receive the An Hero title and for bringing many lulz to the Internet. Mitchell showed us that death does not have to be sad, but could in fact be quite hilarious. For losing his iPod and creating a new classic meme in the process, Mitchell Henderson lives on in our hearts and in our hard drives, and receives the inaugural Golden iPod Award of 2006.

2007

Nominees

An Winner

For performing the amazing feat of 32 * over 9,000 kills (33 31 if you count his self-pwning; suicide penalty, lulz), a high score which has yet to be broken learn to history (Port Arthur massacre)(BRB Jail, Not An Hero - Epic win: Uiryeong massacre). But also for spawning major drama, lulz, and controversy on the interwebs. Cho also posted a tape of himself making lulzy threats, which has become a famed and legendary video. Mr. Seung-Hui even became a meme, and even today, there are still people posting his image on the web.

2008

Golden iPod/Nominees 2008

Nominees

Disqualified nominees

  • Heath Ledger - He overdosed by accident, he never meant to become an hero. His OD wasn't even worth a darwin award, unlike Codey Porter.
  • Brandon Crisp - He had a luzly brawl with his parents, like Jake "An Wii-ro" Roberts, but he did not run out in the woods to kill himself. He fell from a tree by accident, which is a unfunny death. Brandon Crisp was disqualified even though he is popular and did bring many lulz to the Internets and a specific image board. If Brandon jumped from a cliff or hanged himself from that tree, he could have won the game.
  • Sam Leeson - Even though he spawned some lulz on 4chan and Bebo, he was nominated too late. PROTIP: nominate people before the voting starts.

An Winner

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo has won 2008's Golden iPod Award for the incredibly lulzy task of dressing up like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, knocking on his in-laws' door while they were having a Christmas party, and shooting an 8-year-old girl in the face when she answered. He subsequently went on to pwn nine people in all, including himself, but not before burning the house down with a flamethrower. The only explanation possible for this act is that he was extremely horny? Bruce Jeffrey Pardo was an amazing individual, but not least of all, he was An Hero.

2009

Nominees

Disqualified

  • Nidal Malik "AbduWali" Hasan - Despite Getting Forth Place on the Southeast Regional High Score Leaderboard, he hereby has been disqualified after Æ's judges decided that paralyzation does not count as An Hero of the legs.
  • David Carradine - Even though his death was self inflicted with help from an Asian hooker, David Carradines death was not planned nor lulzy. Æ's judges decided that you gotta have intent to become an hero. Carradine is out.

An Winner

Tony48219 won 2009's Golden iPod Award for going on a road trip to kill a negro Boxxy for hating on his religion. He has earned the respect of his fellow man for truly standing up for what he believes in.

2010

By default, it goes to OldDirtyBtard. Rest in peace bro.

On Saturday, October 30, OldDirtyBtard was martyred by the Pharisitic bastards at the Church of Scientology. The cause of death was labeled suicide, and the police refuse to investigate the issue further. He will be sorely missed. As ODB was a career alcoholic, over-aged EDiots (a word invented by the Captain himself) are advised to take a shot in remembrance.

2011

The Golden iPod for 2011 goes to The Sherrodocracy. Because of the valiant suicide of Encyclopedia Dramatica dot com, we were able to rise from the ashes and become the ED that ED was meant to be.

2012

The 2012 Golden iPod winner is Amanda Todd. A 16-year-old girl who got bullied in school for fucking some dude who had a girlfriend because he pretended to love her. She also camwhored online and ended up having to change schools three times because some pedo tried to blackmail her for more nudes and kept posting her tits on Facebook for all her classmates to see when she refused. She eventually was "bullied" into becoming an hero by drinking bleach hanging herself, on her third suicide attempt. She drank bleach during her first attempt, but survived after having her stomach pumped.

Close seconds: An autistic hero named Adam Lanza who committed the very lulzy act of pwning his mother, stealing her guns, using those guns to pwn twenty kids and six adults at the local elementary school, and then shooting himself.

2013

This year's winner is hyper-nigger Chris Dorner. Notable for inciting a county-wide manhunt after he published a manifesto and went out on a killing spree against the police who fired him. Finally he was cornered in a cabin in the woods which the police set on fire to try and smoke him out. But black rambo would not be taken so easily and he took the express train to hell instead with a close range headshot.

Other nominees

  • Ariel Castro - Killed himself in jail after being incarcerated for snatching up all the white girls.

2014

Nominees

  • Elliot Rodger - The Supreme Gentleman, the most alpha of the betas, and a poster boy for fedora enthusiasts everywhere, Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree and then killed himself simply because he couldn't get laid. As a result, he died a virgin, started a #YesAllWomen shitstorm all over social media, and added more fuel to the already-burning feminazi/SJW movement. *tips fedora in his honor.*
  • Leelah Alcorn - A teenage tranny who committed suicide by jumping in front of some Arab's truck just to prove a point. And that point was that he was a Satanic heathen who refused to embrace his loving parents' Christian values by yearning to chop off his penis, change his name from Joshua to Leelah, and live a self-mutilated, gender-confused life as a devil-worshiping freak. If anything, he deserves the award for doing us a favor by ridding us of his maladjusted existence at such an early age.
  • JewWario - A contributor of TGWTG who shot himself at the beginning of the year as an only escape from the shitty Internet circlejerk he had wrongfully associated himself with. The only lulzy thing to come out of it were the trolls decrying his death as a hoax used to earn sympathy money.

Disqualified nominees

  • Robin Williams - The shitty actor best remembered for voicing an effeminate animated genie who befriends a homeless kid in a Disney movie, playing a cross-dressing granny and a mentally retarded manchild just to be around children in other movies, and starring in his final role as David Hutchence in the comfort of his own home. Disqualified as a nominee as his career had already been dead well before he was.

An Winner

Elliot Rodger wins the prize for 2014. He will be awarded the prize in a small ceremony on ED:IRC. Watch TJC for details.

2015

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2015 was a year rife in violence and misery. This can be said of any year; however, 2015 had the most mass shootings occur in history, as well as a lot of lulzy suicides.

Nominees

  • Bryce Williams - A.K.A Vester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan II, was a irl gay nigga who had an episode which resulted in him bringing his shitty nigger pistol glock to his former workplace, killing a few of his ex-coworkers in the process- live on TV.
  • Chris Harper-Mercer - One of several mass shooters as of late. Notable for legit posting on 4chan, which prompted several memes and created a 15-minute shitstorm.

Honorable mention

  • ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 - Muslims culturally enrich Europe. The result is over a hundred dead surrender monkeys. Terrorists killed in action, so they're disqualified.

An Winrar

The winnar for 2015 is Chris Harper-Mercer! Don't go to school tomorrow..

2016

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Pretty much 2015 but with less high scores and one less tranny freak.

Nominees

  • Ali David Sonboly - True Aryan of Germany, inflicted dozens of non-white roach-raced casualties. Became an hero.
  • Bob8466 - A high schooler from Iowa who was close to shooting up his school, but chose to become an hero by shooting himself in the head outside instead. He was a member of ED's Steam group, and for that, we extend a nomination to him. RIP ;_;
  • Tiziana Cantone - Some cocksucker whore from Italy who cheated on her boyfriend and sucked 37 dicks in a row. The videos leaked and she got trolled hard, enough to commit suicide and wipe her useless traitorous whore life from this world. Good riddance.
  • AcidChan - Anon becomes an hero by injecting acid into his fucking veins. He is never heard from again.
  • Justin-anon - Another anon attempts to an hero, this time slicing the fuck out of his wrists and suffering massive blood loss. Believed to have died.
  • Hillary Clinton supporters - Gained a landslide majority of popular votes in the nomination thread- sadly, only a scant few became an hero.
  • Ted Cruz & Jeb Bush's presidential campaigns.

Disqualified

An Winrar

Tiziana Cantone gets it for becoming an hero after being exposed as a traitorous cocksucking slut! And because mass shootings have become a stale forced meme.

2017

Quite possibly the lulziest year to date.

A tranny offed himself and three others for his imaginary waifu, a gambler goes for the High Score, we piss on the grave of a child molester and an obsessed fan of school shootings that spent his entire life preparing for his big day is finished even before he starts when he is cucked by a couch.

Nominees

  • Katelyn Nicole Davis - 12-year-old girl who livestreamed herself becoming an hero.
  • Robert Seman - Child molester who jumped from the top floor of the Mahoning County Courthouse.
  • Steve Stephens - Nigger who shot an old man in the face and put in on Facebook. Became an hero because he couldn't get his McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
  • Aaron Hernandez - Former NFL star who hung himself in prison after murdering Odin Lloyd.
  • Randy Stair - Tranny Columbiner that was obsessed with Danny Phantom. Killed three people at the store he worked at and took shotgun mouthwash to be with his waifu.
  • Chester Bennington - Linkin Park frontman who hung himself because he realized that there was no coming back from making an album as shitty as One More Light.
  • Scout Schultz - A deranged tranny who killed himself via death by cop.
  • Stephen Paddock - A gambler who wanted to press his luck on a crowd of thousands of Country music fans before doubling down on himself.
  • Tommy Page - Former member of New Kids On The Block who had no flair for irony and swallowed a bottle of pills because he didn't want to be Hang'n Tough. Only claim to fame is that he was in that band with Mark Wahlberg's brother.
  • Lil Peep - Emo Rapper that did more than just talk about suicide and deleted himself after reading The Veritas.
  • Slobodan Praljak - Croatian hero who killed many muslims in the Bosnian war. During his trial for war crimes announced "I am not a war criminal!" and downed a bottle of poison, then said "I just drank poison" as the judge was telling him to "respect the court" and dropped dead on the spot.
  • User:AlGore/William Atchison - ED sysop who killed two people at his high school, then an hero'd. Somehow managed to get a worse score than Randy Stair.

Honorary Mention

Randy Robert Stair

He did it all for the ghost nookie

Come on

The ghist nookie

Come on

So Danny Phantom can take that ghost cookie

And Stick it up his, yeah!

Stick it up his, yeah!

Stick it up his, yeah!

An Winrar

User:AlGore/William Atchison - For being that special type of person that chooses to die in the exact same way that they lived by bringing a smile to our faces on their way out. R.I.P. The Sofa Cuck.

2018

According to your libtard masters, Our great and mighty war god's oppression has sickened our country and is spreading an illness that shall devour every soul in the land so expect a good show this year. Think The Stand

Nominees

  • Shuaiby - Kurt Cobain wannabe and possible tranny who livestreamed himself blowing his head off, posted the stream to R9k.
  • Nasim Najafi Aghdam - Crazy bitch who tried to shoot up the HQ of JewTube, miserable failure who did worse than couch cuck.
  • Verne Troyer - Best known as Mini-Me. Drank himself to death.
  • Avicii - Cut himself to death with a broken wine bottle.
  • Kate Spade - Killed her self out of despair because she was rich.
  • Anthony Bourdain - Decided to take his chances on finishing his game of hangman with Kate Spade who rage-quit 5 June 2018, (and lost) 3 days later on the 8th.
  • Chloe Sagal - Attention-whoring tranny scammer who set himself on fire in the middle of a public park because he was homeless and insane. Had a long history of suicide-baiting before finally doing it for real.
  • Rich Russell - A lowly airline baggage handler tired of being down on his luck, who decided to end it all with one hell of an airline joyride, before crashing it far away from anyone who could get hurt. A true American Hero.
  • Duane Youd - After a fight with his wife, Duane stole a plane, went all 9/11 and crashed it into his house.

An Winner

Chloe Sagal: you've got to respect anyone that goes Buddhist monk and sends themselves straight to hell by making themselves into a Polish space heater with a gas can and a match.

Disqualified

2019

Nominees

  • Brody Stevens - Some Noone comedian no one cared about that an hero'd
  • Kelly Catlin - Dyke looking cyclist bitch who an hero'd, mega Baww from the Olympic community.
  • Alan García - Former Peruvian President that shot himself in the head when he was being arrested for money laundering and taking bribes.
  • Sol Pais - Retarded girl obsessed with Columbine and wanted to shoot up the place as a tribute. Killed herself in the woods and died alone like you will.

Disqualified

See also


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Golden iPod
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPodXbox]

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Failures

Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBen VoddenBob8466Brandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDennis AvnerDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisEtikaGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonImma-The-DeerJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJustin-anonKatelyn Nicole DavisKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKimveer GillKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMcSkilletMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMichael RyanMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Otoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffPhoebe ConnopQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonSebastian BosseShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffSteve StephensStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTiziana CantoneTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIXallyfacex

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

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