Goodgirl 666

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goodgirl_666 (aka Fuster) has returned as the resident IMDb Soapbox whore. The following is a direct quote taken from one of her threads: “im 24 and have had over 200 [sexual partners]. if you count mi cyber ones it's nearly 500 lol [sic] Many more to go hopefully.”

Note the haunting lack of intelligence. Despite the fact that she is clearly a troll, and that she clearly isn’t who she says she is, members of the Soapbox community still choose to respond to her (which highlights the blatant lack of intelligence on the Soapbox community as a whole). There exists a great amount of suspicion surrounding the true identity of goodgirl_666. Three of the more popular theories are described below.

The Teenage Attention Whore Theory

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goodgirl_666?

This theory states that goodgirl_666 is actually a teenage girl who most likely resides within the United States of America. The theory would fall in line with the fact that 98.9% of American girls are attention whores. If this were the case, then goodgirl_666 would undoubtedly be as ugly as a porn scene starring Roger Ebert and his wife, Chaz (seriously, that’s her name; it may clarify things a bit to point out that she’s black). goodgirl_666’s seemingly endless threads on the topic of sex further verify this theory. Moreover, the fact that she has “666” in her username obviously means she slits her wrists, which all attention whores do.

The 40-Year-Old Pedophile Truck Driver From Kansas Theory

HOLY SHIT THERE MAY BE MORE THAN ONE GOODGIRL_666!!!

Many people are easily confused by the ambiguous name of this theory, so in layman's terms, this theory essentially states that goodgirl_666 is actually a 40-year-old pedophile truck driver from Kansas. The theory would be consistent with itself because it’s a known fact that everyone from Kansas is a pedophile. It is important to note that 75% of truck drivers are pedophiles, too. The evidence for this theory stems in part from the multitude of minors who have claimed goodgirl_666 sent them, in their words, “nasty PMs with lots of icky words ewwwwwww!”

The FBI Agent Theory

goodgirl_666 pwning online pedophiles.

This theory states that goodgirl_666 is actually a government agent who is attempting to pick up online predators. Due to the fact that 92.6% of all online “sluts” are in fact FBI agents, this theory is very likely to be true. Despite the fact that these FBI agents who act as little girls always end up in perverse conversations with off-duty FBI agents, they continue to track down the REAL evil-doers (you know, the people who don’t have connections to federal law enforcement). If goodgirl_666 is actually an FBI agent, then half of the Soapbox should be prepared to take a seat over there. On the other hand, this theory has a possible hole, in that Goodgirl 666 claims herself to be 24 years of age, putting her well over the limit for getting pedos V& for underage B&. If this is, indeed, the case, then Goodgirl 666 falls into one of the other theory categories, or is simply an AIDS-infested, honest to God, raging slut.

Online Activities

Whoever goodgirl_666 really is, its online activities are predictable to say the least (for the sake of simplicity, I will be referring to goodgirl_666 as an “it”). It goes on the Soapbox, bitches about some shit nobody cares about, creates a sexually explicit thread, bitches about people who call it "a walking bag of STDs” on the sexually explicit thread it just created, creates more threads, bitches some more, and so on and so forth. When a female user makes it known that she has had only, say, one sexual partner, goodgirl_666 replies with something to the effect of “you’re a virgin slut!” or “it’s not my fault you’re ugly!” Seriously. It should also be noted that it spends approximately 23 hours a day on the Soapbox. The other hour is most likely devoted to sitting in a dark corner, masturbating to still images of Marilyn Manson.

This Just In

Goodgirl_666 knows about this article and that people don't like her. Maybe now she'll get the hint and go become an hero.

See Also

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