Google Killer

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A Google Killer is a hypothetical search engine that could replace Google as the dominate search engine. Amazon, Microsoft,, and even Jimbo Wales have all attempt to produce such a product without any success. These "competitors" to Google fail to realize that Google would never be overthrown. It doesn't matter whether the new product actually gives better search results. People will also use Google simply because they're subconsciously used to Google. In fact, it's so well imprinted into our minds that just google it has become the solution to all queries.

The "Google Killers" is the latest in the long line of search engines provided by Micro$oft (others included MSN Search, Windows Live Search, and Live Search). Microsoft decided to encourage users to use their new search engine by funneling a boatload of money into a massive marketing campaign. Suddenly, annoying, useless "search overload" ads were everywhere. Microsoft wasted hundreds of millions of dollars attempting to make hundreds of millions of dollars. Microsoft also sent more money convincing companies to use Bing by default in certain websites, services, and devices. is only good for person who like panoramic backgrounds that don't have any practical use.

Formally known as Ask Jeeves, was another search engine that attempted to beat Google through advertisements. also had a browser toolbar add-on that was a pain in the ass to uninstall. This led to many believing that the toolbar contained spyware or even a virus.

Wikia Search

Wikia Search and their gay little cloud.

Wikia Search was Jimbo Wales' attempt to defeat Google. The content of this search engine was generated by its userbase, so it must display what users are really searching for, right? – wrong; as with Wikipedia, Wikia Search was easy to vandalize and spam due to its reliance on users deciding what belongs in the search results. Wikia Search was a major bomb in the search engine box office. Only Wikia employees and fans used it, and Jimbo Wales was forced to close the entire project down.

Open Graph Protocol (aka "Social Search")

The new kid on the block. Turns out that "Like" button on every page in the fucking universe now isn't just there to cut a few clicks out of the process of publishing "Angeline Buttsex likes If This Group Gets 1000000 Members, We Will Send A Petition To Shut Down ED." No, what Facebook are doing with it is creating a mountain of indexed, searchable data being constantly added to for free by their half-billion-or-so-strong userbase.

The unique selling point of social search is that when you type "The most liked restaurant" into Google, you will get the guy who paid an SEO to boost his site for that longtail search term. By using a social search engine, you can find out perfectly literally how many people clicked the like button for which restaurant's website.

The limitation of social search is, obviously enough, the quality of the data generated. Social search data is generated by the kind of people who think that clicking the Like button on Facebook is a really neat idea. This means that if you're planning to rely on social search to find out where to take your new dinner date or prospective client to impress them, you'd better hope they like Chicken McNuggets.

Google in the East


In China, Baidu is the most popular search engine, while Google trails woefully behind in second place. This is mostly due to Google being shit for Chinese language searches. In early 2010, Google got its shit smacked by the Chinese for helping the Americunts to spy on them. Google cried delicious tears of butthurt and called out to the world's media for help. Suddenly, tens of moralfags worldwide decided to back Google, by doing absolutely nothing. The Chinese government proceeded to not give a fuck and the population didn't even notice anything was different because they all use Baidu anyway.


In Putin's Russia, Yandex is the most popular search engine. There isn't much is say on this.


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