Gorillaz

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Typical Gorillaz fan art.
Rule dirty floor exists for Gorillaz, just like it exists for everything else.


The Gorillaz are an animuted band from England created by two fags that deny they are furfags (when they obviously are). The members of the group are: Damon Albarn of britpop band the Blur's fame, and Jamie Hewlett, who drew some comic book called Tank Girl. They are known for their inability to figure out what the fuck genre they are, so they just record noise and assorted shit to put on their albums. Despite the modest amount of creative potential available to an animu band, The Gorillaz are MTV to the core. As such, they are damned to burn inside Justin Timberlake's wart-covered rectum for all eternity.

Fuck Ups

The Gorillaz fame was attributed to their being cartoons, however, they take longer to finish a project than Zone, make lies about crappy movies that were supposed to happen five years ago, and play it off like it didn't happen, while simultaneously hinting at stuff that may or may not happen in the storyline, even though that shit wont happen either. And now that the cartoon band genre is not a new one, Gorillaz is pretty much the most epic cock tease in fanboy history, and is now as dead as zippocat.

"Members"

Hung like a horse.

The Gorillaz have a colorful cast of characters to play their "music".

Murdoc

The band's emo, he would like to think he is the leader of the band, but everybody knows bassists can't be leaders. Like 2D, Murdoc is a complete fag; he is also an STD-ridden Satanist who lives in a Winnebago and would rather rape 2D than bathe. Murdoc is a halfassed nudist, often seen wearing nothing but underwear, both at home, and on-stage. He likes animals, as evidenced by his pet crow, Cortez, and has a tendency to use his unusually long tongue to pleasure said pet, as well as perform fellatio on 2D. He spent 10 years in a Mexican prison for not paying for the lap dances he received and during his stay, was constantly being anally raped by a chubby little Mexican. He escaped only to go right back to the strip joint.

As of now, he's escaped to his own island made up of thousands of discarded condoms from thousands of years. He's currently working on his solo album, getting guest stars by gassing them and dragging them to his Plastic Beach. If only Murdoc knew that you should only treat women that way.

2D asking for it.

2D

The band's pro-ana retarded singer and keyboard player with blue weeaboo hair, he is a Mary Sue of the band's IRL co-founder, Damon Albarn, despite Albarn's denial of this fact. Some argue that 2D's lack of intelligence and fucked up eyes are the result of Murdoc running him over a couple of times with a car. In reality, 2D is a male prostitute who will take it in the eye sockets. He can often be seen with bruises and hickies, presumably from Murdoc. 2D has a lot of migraines as a result of all the skullfucking and as a result is generally high as a kite. It is rumored that 2D is bicurious, as he apparently has children by a number of cock trappers.

Classy, as you would expect any African-American to be.

Russel

The band's fat nigger drummer, Russel witnessed WTC, is often possessed by his dead friends, and sometimes totes around dead animals, which is supposedly why he has white eyes. In reality, it's because Jamie Hewlett is too busy drawing yaoi of 2D and Murdoc to be bothered with filling in Russel's eyes. It is partially Russel's fault that this band still has no fucking clue as to what music it plays. This is due to Russel bringing his rap and hip-hop buddies to their recording sessions while 2D is taking a fuck break with Murdoc.

IT'S A TRAP!!111
Noodle without makeup.

Noodle

The band's underage, Japanese guitarist. Noodle appears to be the brains of the operation, given that she is the only member of the Gorillaz that is not constantly engaged in sexual acts with her bandmates or possessed.

Noodle, like many other animu characters, has the was-bred-to-be-a-sex slave-secret-weapon backstory with a side of amnesia. Noodle only spoke Japanese until the scientist who created her said one of her trigger words. This magically taught her Engrish, though did not give her the boobs she so wanted.

Noodle apparently died during the filming of the music video for Manah Manah. But that story was made up to cover up the death of Jimmy Manson. This caused much angst among the fans. As it turns out, she actually escapes in a parachute, leaving Jimmy Manson to be blown up. In a strange turn of events, it's actually revealed that she did die, and the was rescued from hell by Murdoc. Though this would sound like some kinda faggotry to keep the fanbase happy, it turns out the entire rescue was a drunken delusion of Murdoc. This makes The Gorillaz one of the first trolls to be featured on MTV. They build a robot Noodle but noone cares.

"Musical Style"

As mentioned above, Gorillaz doesn't really seem to know exactly what genre they are. Some songs have a techno sound to them, others have a more classic rock feel, and some sound like classical music. Actually, you can usually find all the aforementioned styles in one song. Some fans like to excuse this art-fag nonsense by claiming the band plays "experimental" music.

We would be doing you a disservice if we didn't also mention another notable aspect of the Gorillaz' "music": Many songs also have a section sung by a guest rapper, a trope which many members of the fanbase seem split on. Many like to scream that if you dislike the rapping parts, you're a "poser," "not a real fan," and all the usual nonsense that retards like to say when someone voices an opinion they disagree with.

Other fans are quite vocal about the fact that the rapping segments suck. For example, many of these fans will tell you that "Feel Good, Inc. would be so much better if it didn't have De La Soul's autistic scream-laughing and shit rapping in it."

Typical Gorillaz Faggotry

Plastic Beach

After 4 years of silence from the band a new album hits the shelfs called Plastic Beach. It is a vain attempt for them to reinvent them selfs after completely falling out of the public spotlight. The main difference in the new album is that Noodle (the band's resident Jailbait) has finaly hit puberty, much to the chargin' of many Fanbois lazerz. Of course more fictional history has been invented for the band that most believe to have actually happened.

Fans

The band's audience are typically fags in that period between sex with their friends and masturbating. Most of them only like this shit band because they want to fuck them or think that any Japanese person in a band is a good band to wear the band's shirt from Hot Topic to prove that they love Japanese culture. And fangirls.

Ways to piss off the Gorillaz fandom

  • Suggest a pairing between any two or more members of the band.
  • Deny a pairing between any two or more members of the band.
  • Deny a pairing between any member of the band and a fangirl.
  • Dare to suggest that 2D's damaged eyes would not be genetically passed on to a Mary Sue's offspring.
  • Be confused about Noodle's gender.
  • Draw 2D with purple hair, when his hair is supposed to be indigo now!!11
  • Claim that Noodle is dead.
  • Refer to any member of the band as a cartoon character.
  • Attempt to hack the official forums.(strongly recommended)
  • Point out the incontrovertible fact that the Gorillaz' limpdicked attempts at "music" are nothing more than a cheap attempt to make Ghetto Rap acceptable for White People, much in the same way Moby attempts to make faggotry and techno easier for black person to swallow without having any Ripple or MD 20/20 on hand.
  • Make a comment about Christianity.
  • Point out the fact that Russel is the most sane member of the group.(Brits hate being told Americans are better than them at anything)
  • Say you like the guest rappers better than the actual band itself.
  • List all British military defeats.
  • Dare to suggest the Gorillaz aren't actually animu.
  • Say they sound like some shitty techno form of The Beatles.
  • Ask what gender 2D is.
  • Call Murdoc a nasty fuck.
  • Pretend you're in love with Russel and only refer to him as "Russel Sprout".
  • Completely butt fuck the once half lulzy ED Gorillaz page (as seen above).
  • Call 2D ghey. (WARNING! DOING SO MAY RESULT IN GETTING H4X'D (But we still strongly support it, like your (sic) actually going to use the account am I right?)) IT'S 'YOU'RE' YOU FUCKNUTS!!!111!!!!!!!!!ZERfuck.
  • Point out the general insignificance of the band.
  • Compare to Rush.
  • Compare to Styx.
  • Say you hope they do a song with 50 Cent.
  • Have a personal opinion on the band.
  • Say Phase 2 Noodle is a emo.
  • Say 2-D looks like a piece of shit.
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