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Grape Lady

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"Grape Lady" (also known as Grape Fall Lady) was a perfect example of why you shouldn't fuck with grapes in front of a camera. Despite how unlikely it is for someone to actually get owned by a squished pile of grapes, Grape Lady appears before us to prove the possibility true with her daring feat. In 2006, an unknown Melissa Sander working for an even more obscure news channel (guess who turned out to own it) and having high aspirations of becoming a respected reporter unintentionally fell face-flat onto the internet trying to win herself a stupid prize before getting played off as a landmark in the long, unending history of fail.

Contents

Grape Lady Begins


The Grape Lady incident (now known as 'The Grape Lady Epic Fall', as well as 'Who the Fuck Still Names These') took place during a grape stomping competition in a no-name podunk town in the US of A. Its two participants, Sander and some nobody started competing in a 30 second round on top of a wooden platform. Sander got really sneaky at the 25 second mark and told her advantaged opponent to STOP; once she did that, the reporter began to stomp like it was the end of world as we know it in order to get an extra edge, all for the sake of Jew to some uncharted island with a weirdass name in the middle of nowhere. While her contender kept her cool, Sander lost total control of her fat ass, flew straight off the board and fell face-first to her doom. The following is a professional transcript detailing the aftermath of the disaster:

Sander: Ow ... Oowww Owwww Owwwwwwwwww Owaaah! Oh, stop,stop, Ow Owwwww Owwwwwwwwwww!
Sander: Stop! I can't breathe!
Sander: Ow ... Oowwww Owwwwwwwwwwwww Owaaah! Ow ... Oowwww Owwwwwwwwwwwww Owaaah! Ow ... Oowwww Owwwwwwwwwwwww Owaaah! I can't breathe!
Concerned FOX Reporter:  Wow, she looks hurt. We'll get back to her later; what's the ETA on those Korean nukes?

Spinoffs

Grape Lady: The Music Video
Grape Lady vs. Family Guy

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