[email protected]

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Ankle shackles2.jpg All the way to the FBI!!!
Rubico was just convicted in TN federal court, wearing handcuffs and ankle shackles!!¡¡
Hannibal Lecter's got nothing on this monster!!1!

Now on ebay
Nothing of value was found. Appearances can be deceptive.
The Incident: SFB.

[email protected] is a private email Alaskan Governor and GOP VP hopeful Sarah Palin maintained and used for serious gummint bidness in an attempt allow her and staff members to circumvent subpoenas seeking public records and to avoid getting v& for violating laws against using official Gov't email for campaign purposes.

One day, an anon claiming the name rubico haxed the account and sent evidence of her shenanigans to the Associated Press. Dubbed "The Incident" it has quickly become one of the most talked about things on /b/ since the debate on whether sandpaper dildo could be a meme.

It has yet to be seen if the Party Van will visit 4chan, but this is not likely because ultimately, nothing of value was found and nobody cares.

Also, although the massed ranks of butthurt Rebublifags (from the John McRage campaign to Bill O'Reilly and the Faux News gang) are shocked & appalled at the invasion of privacy against the poor, defenseless, naive, Ms Palin and have come out swinging against the Internets -and in Billo's case, issued a personal fatwa on the DESPICABLE, SLIMY, SCUMMY denizens of /b/- they actually may not want to shine a spotlight on:

a). A public servant trying to hide government business by using back-channel, private email addresses.

2). The fact that Palin -potentially one heartbeat away from leading the free world- is almost as Internets ignorant as McCain (even though he did invent the BlackBerry).

¢). What happens when wimminz get on on the Internets.

What Happened

Anonymous started a thread after gaining access to Palin's email address using only information from Google and Wikipedia. After learning of Palin's known clandestine email address at [email protected], the perp decided to check also for [email protected] (but completely ignored Todd and Sarah's drop box [email protected] and didn't even fire up Skype to socially engineer them via homephone, (907) 373-3113).

After learning that there was absolutely nothing of interest, (aside from the highly illegal conversation she had with a top political aide about hiding the fact that she used her private Yahoo! email for serious gov't biz), it was decided to throw the carrion to the vultures at 4chan. Since the owner of ctunnle has said that since Anonymous forgot to crop his screencap, he'll probably be pretty easy to find, especially given that the 1337 haxor claiming this coup as his own, has admitted that he only used one proxy.

/b/tards fapped away furiously until some White Knight decided to ruin it for everybody and changed the password. Anonymous figured that one out too, but resetting the password a 3rd time locked up the email address for 24 hours. It went dark shortly afterwards.

At the end of the day, the only real booty plundered was Palin's address book, which is currently the smack running through the Internets' veins. Now the world has an opportunity to send pictures of genitals and bodily movements to Alaska's power elite.

The following is a select list of individuals who maintain close contact with Palin.

The Hax0r?

rubico? Your v& awaits.
According to Fox, a black male was seen leaving the scene of the crime.

The latest theory floating around the jury room is that the 'hacker' is one David C. Kernell, ([email protected]), born October 27, 1986, son of Mike Kernell, Tennessee democratic state senator from the 93rd district in Memphis. The Internet Detective Machine is on the case.

It is official. David Kernel faces one federal count of "accessing without authorization" of Gov Palin's email. After hacking a government official's e-mail account, using only one (America-hosted) proxy, and leaving a long trail of evidence (including his real, irl-linked email address on 4chan), Kernell pleaded not guilty to the charges. He is now looking at a maximum of 5 years in jail, with three years probation, and a fine of $250,000. Remember this next time you phish your ex GF's password in order to post gay porn on her myspace or you too could be rotting in a prison making friends with Bubba.

For what it's worth, Wikileaks broke with their usual policy of neither denying nor confirming a source to say that David was NOT who gave them Palin's emails. This leaves open the delicious possibility the REAL STUFF has not yet been released and we can look forward to a very late October Surprise this election season.

David on how he tried to escape the party van by DELETING FUCKING EVERYTHING and unplugging his internetz. You almost got away with it, Goodnight Sweet Prince.

The Copypasta

rubico 09/17/08(Wed)12:57:22 No.85782652

Hello, /b/ as many of you might already know, last night Sarah Palin’s yahoo was “hacked” and caps were posted on /b/, i am the lurker who did it, and i would like to tell the story.

In the past couple days news had come to light about Palin using a yahoo mail account, it was in news stories and such, a thread was started full of newfags trying to do something that would not get this off the ground, for the next 2 hours the acct was locked from password recovery presumably from all this bullshit spamming.

after the password recovery was re-enabled, it took seriously 45 min. on Wikipedia and google to find the info, Birthday? 15 seconds on Wikipedia, zip code? well she had always been from wasilla, and it only has 2 zip codes (thanks online postal service!)

the second was somewhat harder, the question was “where did you meet your spouse?” did some research, and apparently she had eloped with mister Palin after college, if you'll look on some of the screenshits that I took and other fellow anon have so graciously put on photobucket you will see the google search for “Palin eloped” or some such in one of the tabs.

I found out later though more research that they met at high school, so I did variations of that, high, high school, eventually hit on “Wasilla high” I promptly changed the password to popcorn and took a cold shower

rubico 09/17/08(Wed)12:58:04 No.85782727

this is all verifiable if some anal /b/tard wants to think Im a troll, and there isn’t any hard proof to the contrary, but anyone who had followed the thread from the beginning to the 404 will know I probably am not, the picture I posted this topic with is the same one as the original thread.

I read though the emails… ALL OF THEM… before I posted, and what I concluded was anticlimactic, there was nothing there, nothing incriminating, nothing that would derail her campaign as I had hoped, all I saw was personal stuff, some clerical stuff from when she was governor…. And pictures of her family

I then started a topic on /b/, peeps asked for pics or gtfo and I obliged, then it started to get big

Earlier it was just some prank to me, I really wanted to get something incriminating which I was sure there would be, just like all of you anon out there that you think there was some missed opportunity of glory, well there WAS NOTHING, I read everything, every little blackberry confirmation… all the pictures, and there was nothing, and it finally set in, THIS internet was serious business, yes I was behind a proxy, only one, if this shit ever got to the FBI I was fucked, I panicked, i still wanted the stuff out there but I didn’t know how to rapidshit all that stuff, so I posted the pass on /b/, and then promptly deleted everything, and unplugged my internet and just sat there in a comatose state

Then the white knight fucker came along, and did it in for everyone, I trusted /b/ with that email password, I had gotten done what I could do well, then passed the torch , all to be let down by the douchebaggery, good job /b/, this is why we cant have nice things.

Another Theory

are you taking him serious yet?

Many have also argued the hack occurred after Paul Carnes directly ordered anonymous to "destroy and ruin" Sarah Palin. While no one actually listened, the theory suggests MrFetch used his influence as a representative for the Alabama Democratic Party to get into Palin's account. Some believe this incident transpired because MrFetch found out Palin wanted to stop homosexuals from having being easy access to bathhouses in Alaska.

According to various sources, Paul moved from Dothan to Montgomery where he was taken in by an older gay man—a good man, a successful and well-connected lobbyist in Alabama's capital. This man (Joe Cottle) was captivated by Paul, by his youth and vigor. The man lavished attention on Paul, provided him a home, and financed his college education. From him, Paul received affirmation and acceptance for the first time. The man tapped into his network of connections to create opportunities for Paul. Through him, Paul became involved in groups like the Alabama Democratic Party, Equality Alabama, and the Equality Fund of Alabama. In fact, Paul is a member of the Executive Committee of the Alabama Democratic Party for House District 86 (see http://www.aladems.org/custom/state_committee_list.php), thanks entirely to his benefactor's influence.

Paul Carnes has not claimed responsibility for the intrusion, but then he wouldn't, would he? Investigators working on the case say it has all the hallmarks of an eBaumsworld operation, although eBaums has not claimed responsibility either. In the leak of Bill O'Reilly's subscriber database (see below, Round Three), eBaums specifically denied any involvement, claiming they were framed by 4chan and Paul Carnes.

The Aftermath

The Party Van pulls up in moot's driveway.
/b/'s welcoming committee prepares for the onslaught of media[1].

While there really are NO political implications in this large Bowl-o-Fail, it highlights the recent revelation that Palin not only has been skirting The Freedom of Information Act by using private email addresses to conduct Government business, but she's also too stupid to use a decent email provider.

Currently /b/ is a writhing mass of trolls trolling trolls awaiting 4chan's demise and ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH remixes setting the mood for retarded threads about moot being v&, or ebaumsworld finding something worthy of an "October Surprise" in Palin's mail. The world by now realizes however, that /b/ has so very little to do with this, yet the fucking peanut gallery thinks that they are actually influencing the election. There are already plans being traded around for fagging up Palin rallies by spouting memes whilst Rickrolling dumbass Palintards.

Fauxnews' very own Internet Cop

Round One

Dox? Dropped.
Bill is on the case

Round Two

Billo gets his ass handed to him by his hawt colleague as he calls for moot's blood along with the haxor.

If your grandma sent you fifty bucks for your birthday, and somebody steals the letter and gives it to somebody else they take the fifty bucks they're going to get charged as well as this person who stole this letter.


Bill Orally ...lol wut?

After the story being smeared all over the news for several hours, Bill O'Reilly was chomping at the bit, calling those hosting and trading the screen caps "DESPICABLE, SLIMY, SCUMMY" and an "EXTREMIST FAR LEFT INTERNET HATE GROUP" (Close, but no cigar!). Bill then told the nation that he was going to let the FBI know all about it so they could move forward with the investigation. Thanks Bill, don't know what we'd do without ya, pal. Bill's dox are now floating around the internet and many stephens are being pointed his way.

Round Three (fail)

Those damnable Ebaums rapscallions!!!1 What tricks will they use next to confuse honest lawmen??

Filled with nerd RAAAAAAAGGEEE over O'Reilly's mouth foam, unidentified assailants attempted to hal turner his radio show call-in program but Bill outfauxed them after someone sent the screener news there was a thread pending on some image board. Bill, never one to back down in the face of a challenge, severely limited the number of callers allowed on the air and made references to "staying away from the internet." Meanwhile, back on some raid channel, unknown people found the admin page for one of Bill's web page ventures which for some reason required no password. This led quickly to accessing an SQL with a list of subscribers, including their personal details (see link below). The unknown assailants intended to surprise O'Reilly over the coming days with unspecified hijinx for which O'Reilly can be expected to demand the death penalty for terrorism and high treason against the state. Members of the inner O'Reilly cabal namefagged regretted publicly they had attended the Sarah Palin Home school of Readin, Writin and Ciferin and told the press they used the same name and passwords on all their accounts. Sources close to the events also said they had found the names and passwords valid on Paypal. This led to the closure of the O'Reilly site for at least 100 hours.

In a related development, unknown assailants attempted to mass a DDoS attack on the O'Reilly site on September 20. The effort was total fail after only 7 people could be found who cared enough to try, but they soon turned to tried and true methods, calling his home telephone and asking to speak with Willy personally. Initially Bill's wife Maureen answered in a friendly tone, but this former public relations specialist soon began answering "Police, please hold, your line is being traced."

The lulz soon fizzled out when Bill just ignored it all, although unknown agents tried to convince Alex Jones that Bill O'Reilly had taken out a contract on his life. Jones also failed to react to this news in any major way.

Greta Van Susteren - Poll's Closed

On 17 September 2008, Greta Van Susteren (aka Bill Cowher's feminine side) hosted a poll asking "What do you think about the hacking of Gov. Palin's private e-mail? It was a harmless prank, or it was a political dirty trick." and allowed people to vote. Anonymous got wind of this, spammed the fuck out of Ebaumsworld, and over 9000 nigras voted it to 67% saying it was just a prank. Apparently the IT Guy knew something was up when more than just his mom and his collection of Star Wars toys voted in the poll, and blamed "some dunce being a jerk". Greta then claimed she'd been hacked, and decided she'd bring it up when she hosts NFL Live this Sunday.

After the show was over, there were many claims that the polls were rigged so that you couldn't select "It was a harmless prank." anymore. Ebaums then proceeded to spam the fuck out of the comments board, and many Rickrolls and lulz were had.

Strangely enough, Greta Van Susteren is a Scientologist in her so-called "private life".

Michelle Malkin McVeighs in

Faux blogger Michelle Malkin, recently in the news for false-flagging NWO warrior Alex Jones at the Democratic National Convention and having her own aides threaten to kill her, claims to have caught the haxx0r. Luckily, it's the formerly anonymous son, David, of Democratic state rep from Tennessee Mike Kernell who conveniently provided his nick AND email address on /b/ after he, according to Malkin's informants, fled in terror through the night after hacking into Palin's yahoo and posting the password to 4chan. Luckily for the FBI and Secret Service, the young man returned to the scene of the crime and provided the details implicating him on /b/ within 24 hours. The neocon disinformation agent acquired a posting on /b/ by someone named rubico who allegedly gained access to Palin's email by GUESSING HER ZIPCODE (there are 2 zip codes in Palin's arctic township). Malkin and her aides have triangulated in on the true identity of rubico and have his dox, which have been spammed on /b/ repeatedly to little or no effect. While the story sounds plausible (the potential next president of the United States securing information with unbreakable five-digit zip codes), state representative Mike Kernell has identified his son as the scapegoat namefagged by Malkin, according to a report in the hick newspaper The Tennessean. Even so, the FBI and SS haven't announced they have their man yet. Proponents of the "lone rubico" theory point out his MySpace or YouTube account was deleted AFTER the internet drama, so the neocons have found a smoking gun, if not a weapon of mass destruction. Plans are underway to secure all future top secret government yahoo and gmail accounts with zip+4 zip codes, which should strengthen security beyond the means of all but the very top echelon of professional NSA cryptologists.

A Challenger Appears

Anonymous? So far we don't know who they are...


—Amy Holmes, Republican strategist and obviously not a basement-dweller

This little gem was dug up from the past. Glenn Beck, when he was with CNN Headline News, "commented" on the email incident and called them a bunch of hippie, latte-sipping Obama fanbois.


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