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If you're like us you've probably never wondered what will happen to the CryptoKids once they've grown up; the answer was always there, their aspie logic would draw them ever-closer to realizing what utter failures they are and they would eventually expunge themselves from existence, hopefully taking out as many people in the process as possible. However, if you have wondered what comes later in life for a cryptokid, and you guessed "basement-dwelling weeaboo furries", you would be absolutely correct.

Hackerteen is this next level in the development of future internet superheroes. Signing up for Hackerteen is a lot like signing up for summer camp, except turned on its head. In this camp everyone is the pasty computer nerd, physical activity is shunned, and despite the amount of smelly teenagers huddled together for days on end, surprisingly, nobody gets laid (however the camp counselors are said to be similar to regular camp counselors so there may be an exception in your case).

Hackerteen is overseen by 4Linux, and aims to teach the average teenager how to stay totally hip and edgy when it comes to protecting themselves and the government from the forces of evil™. This school of thought is a force to be reckoned with, as their hands-on educational process greatly surpasses what one might find in a typical CSIII class. There is also a manga that was published in April '08 by O'Reilly (seen on the left) to aid in jumpstarting technology-based consumerism in Brazil and spread general awareness of the program. Not a shock considering Brazil that the aids appear to be spreading quite easily.


Hackerteen courses.png

As you can see by the above flow-chart the education basically breaks down into the following paths, translated for your convenience and passed through the inverse-faggotry equation.

               ------------ Anonymous ------------ Final Boss of the Internet
btard --------------------- Femanon
               ------------ CSIII

As you can clearly see they are pretty srs about transforming your typical wide-eyed dork into a grizzly, broad-shouldered man with long white hair and blue business cards. While the translated model does not result in the teen winding up as a complete faggot, it is only communicated as such to relay more easily understood definitions of what Hackerteen offers in their program, which is to apparently supply old men with nerdy lolis.

Promotional Video

You have got to go buy a copy of hackerteen from booksellers in April 2008! So you can follow Yago and the hackerteen gang, as they trap crooks and foil evil plots. If you think your computer savvy, you may want to think again. Hackerteen will tell you stuff that you didn't even know, you needed to know. Like how to protect your unique online identity, and what kind of internet behaviour can get you into serious trouble. You know you hate all the junk and creeps floating around on the internet, wull don't just sit back and watch it happen, hackerteen will help you be a part of the solution. With hackerteen, you'll find out about all the hot new gadgets and cool stuff on the internet and for your computer, so you can be the one setting all the trends. Yeaaaaah, hackerteen's got all that, plus sweet graphics and characters that you and your friends can't get enough of. Be the first to get hackerteen in april so you don't get left behind. And remember, you are the future of the internet.



See Also

External Links

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Hackerteen is part of a series on


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