From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Hawaii is one of the 50 states of America, and one of only two states offshore from the mainland, Alaska being the other one. Notable for being the site of the Pearl Harbor bombings, extremely high real estate and nesting old white people. The weather is hellish; extremely hot and humid with intense thunderstorms. Even Florida weather isn't as bad as here. You have to call in exterminators to cleanse your house or apartment of insects once every week, or else your place will be swarming with horrifying and giant bugs hell bent on biting the shit out of you. Centipedes, spiders and tarantulas are everywhere and definitely out to get you- especially if you have a vagina. They're probably even in your food. A bite from one of the centipedes will put you in the hospital for a week.