Heather Mills

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Heather settles for £100m
Heather Mills' fursona.
Heather Mills worked as a porn star for Disney
Mills' original leg was up for auction on eBay for a brief amount of time

Heather Mills is the gold digging ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney; who is best known for creating drama with Wikipedia over her missing leg. This bitch will be included in the final solution as she is clearly a Jew Pirate on account of her needing loads of cash and only having one leg.

History

Having narrowly missed several land mines in her time, but then bein' hit by a rogue Harley Davidson chopper to similar effect, Heather Mills enjoys lying to everyone she knows about everything and masturbating to pictures of Anna Nicole Smith in her spare time.

Heather has been so desperate to prove she is not a gold digger that was created a website called "Enough is Enough", where she bitches about the Beatles. Thus far she has posted two rants, which both disappeared again after only a short time. In the first she accused Paul McCartney of not caring to pay for Heather's security, even though she claims to receive death threats. In the second rant, which disappeared after only two days, the sisters complained about media reports added with a definition of "gold digger" taken from Wikipedia.

The stupid pegleg whore has recently announced her foolish plans to clear the internet of stories about herself. She says "Recently I've been going through the internet clearing up rumours. I've got many thousands to go. I plan to clear the internet so my daughter doesn't read all the lies when she's 12." Best keep her busy then.


Trivia

  • When Heather isn't dancing with the stars, she can be found fighting for the Animal Liberation Front.
  • Alfie Karmal as well as her former fiancé Chris Terrill (dumped by Heather after she had met Paul McCartney and only a few days before Heather Mills and Chris Terrill were supposed to get married) and Heather's father Mark Mills have all branded Heather Mills as a compulsive liar.
  • Various reports claim Heather enjoys naming APLs after the Beatles.
  • Mills loves furries
  • Heather Mills has Wikipediaphobia, at least she's got one sign of health.
  • Heather recently told Jew she now has only 3 spare legs, down from 5. She currently packs a 'heels' leg, a 'pumps' leg and a 'peg' leg.
  • Heather also has a secret dildo leg which she used to please Paul and thank him for the money when shes to tired to stump fuck him
  • Heather is a pedophile and a murderer and we should treat her as such.

Gold Digger Strategy

Just so there's no confusion, here's what a gold digger would do:

1. Find a rich old pop star who's on the rebound from his dead wife, who was actually a nice caring person.

2. Shag the brains out of him 'til you can wind him round your little finger.

3. Persuade him to get you pregnant. That way you have a permanent long term grip on his testicles.

4. Once the kid emerges, get rid of the pop star, since all that is of interest now is his bank balance. Note, the kid can be used endlessly as ammunition and leverage to get your own way.

5. Demand $50M by next Friday otherwise you'll dish the dirt on him

6. ?????

7. Profit! (Literally!)

Obviously Heather Mills would never do any of this and is clearly not a greedy gold digging attention whore.

Although it has been noted that she is a pirate of the butt variety.

Teh moneyz or teh plank.JPG "Teh moneyz or teh plank"

IRL fight

Heather Mills Vs Hitler

See Also

External Links

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Heather Mills is part of a series on

Whores

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Heather Mills is part of a series on

Music

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